Festivus - Time for Syracusefan's Annual Airing of Grievances | Syracusefan.com

Festivus - Time for Syracusefan's Annual Airing of Grievances

Toga

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Festivus is soon upon us and that means it is time for the Board's Annual Airing of Grievances. You know how it goes - what annoys the hell out of you? What really chafes your shorts? Sports related or non sports related. Have at it.
 
Stairs and hills. Again, 2016 almost. Why do we still have stairs?

Hills... Honestly, how much longer would it take to just cut through the hill. Cut through mountains. Tunnels are cool as heck anyway.
 
Cats. Cats scare the heck out of me. My mom had cat scratch fever as a kid, almost died. And someone wrote a song about it? How about I write a song, same tune, call it "prostate cancer"

Anyway, no matter what you say, your cat is not "the nicest little thing". When he gets pissed, and his claw goes through your eyeball, come see me and I'll buy you a drink to make you feel better. I won't feel bad tho. And I might pull the "I told you so, sucka"
 
The a$$hole who left a note on my legally parked car while I was at band practice Monday night. The note was ostensibly about my parking in "his" space, but went on to bitch about how loud we play and his having to get up at 5 AM and a few other things I didn't bother reading. I've composed a reply in my head many times already, but since I firmly believe that people who leave notes on cars are douchebags, I will not put it to paper and stick it under his wiper blade like a coward. Instead, I'm going to wait until I see him on the street (he thinks I don't know who he is) and let him know that I've called L & I to report his illegal apartment and I won't stop calling them until his sorry a$$ is evicted. Merry frucking Christmas you worthless POS. Maybe you can pitch a tent in "your" parking space you silly a$$ed, urban pioneer, hipster shitbag.
 
"Can I ask you a question?" You literally just asked me a f****** question. I hate that so much.

Whenever one of my clients says "it's in God's hands" right before we are about to get a decision. No, it's in the judge's hands. It was in your stupid hands until you decided not to listen to me and didn't do any of the things I told you to do to get a favorable decision.
 
I got a lot of problems with you people. And now, you're going to hear about it!

The requirement to manually fluff artificial Christmas trees. There should be a button to auto-fluff.

Why haven't we invented door locks that open based on hearing the voices of their owners?

All the products that come in think, uber-sealed thick plastic packaging that can only be opened by using a steak or utility knife. You shouldn't have to risk severing a finger to get to whatever it was you bought.

People who pronounce coo-ney as coe-ney. Barbarians.

Sno Balls. Not the kind you make out of snow and throw at crows for laughs. The ones Hostess used to make. Those nasty pink things. They drove Hostess to bankruptcy and the remaining stock needs to be destroyed ASAP. I hear someone else is making them now. ISIS, please investigate.
 
When your plane lands, and you're sitting in the back, and it feels like people are getting their bags out of the overhead compartments at a turtle's pace.

And there's always that one douche having an unnecessary conversation on their phone during this time.
 
Marketing geniuses who decide it's a great idea to have people making loud chewing noises in radio ads that play while I'm driving my car. Or I should say, while I'm resisting the urge to crash my car so that I won't have to listen to those godawful noises anymore.
 

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