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I feel the same way, but for Elvir Ovcina.

Pizza burn.

And their proms are infinitely higher stakes.

Adults who have aged out of our senses of humor, apparently...

We all really just gonna ignore that his jersey says "Stab" on it.

I'd love to have Dior keep and publish a carefully documented record of everything UK offers him to commit to their program. Kid would be a folk hero to college basketball for generations. Off to write some fanfic, fellas.

Duly noted.

It's quite a blow to Akok.

Me: I'll give you my soul if SU doesn't lose another basketball game this season. The Devil: You got it, Bro.

Ron Mexico? That's...problematic.

I like to think that this post is you threatening our coaching staff.

This is for the old-timers. Starting February we'll be going to an all-emoji uniform for the young'uns.

Until this board approves the nickname Marektion, I'm done with all of you.

BOBBY LAZOR!!!!

insert clever nose-picking joke here

It means we'll be three short of a Jackson 5.

I didn't realize this is how it worked. (clears throat) I would also like one Isaiah Jackson, please.

What a waste of twenty bucks.

FTFY

My son's nickname for him is "Marek-tion" and enjoys saying things like "Marek-tion takes it to the hole!" and "You can't cover Marek-tion!" Oh, man. I can feel the ban comin'.

From prior SU/Pitt experience, I predict 40 minutes of unwatchable basketball.

I know people have been talking about Akok looking disinterested, but this pic has him making the same face I do when it's ten o'clock and night and my kid just remembered he has to bring in a dozen cupcakes to school tomorrow.

Seven game series, I have Duke in three. You heard me.

Honestly, I'm just honored to have been nominated.

I'm really hoping he hasn't committed to any school before we play UConn. Cause you know what that makes this game? Akok fight. I'll show myself out.

I'm a little shocked at that grammar and I'm starting to think Hardwood isn't a real university.

Pumpkins are orange. He's announcing on Halloween. DO I HAVE TO CONNECT THE DOTS FOR YOU PEOPLE

I don't have any insider information, but I just wanted to say you really, really shouldn't let your kids do X.

"Package" deal. I see what you did there.

I think we're forgetting about Queth Duany.

Does the ESPN list include foreign players? I didn't see any on there.

OrangeEyes Dome.

Because beating them here will be really difficult

Ennis to stun Pitt at the Zoo, then getting in the face of the student section. Love it.

He got consistently owned by Billy Edelin?

Terrific article? Waters completely neglects to mention our secret weapon. Brandon Bayer.

I'd like to W-pop that guy in the face.

Marektion. Just 'cause of the nickname.

Hips ain't bad either! ;)

You stand and clap until SU's first bucket of a half. At opposing team's stadiums.

So then, would the best plan be to schedule tons of cupcakes away, and tough games at home?

FTFY

I seem to remember Y94 doing similar SU-based parodies around that time, though the only specific one I can recall was something like "No Stoppin' The Cuse" to the tune of Billy Joel's "Matter of Trust."

His first act was to find a reporter for the DO and berate him.

If he's not careful, he's gonna give me a Marek-tion. I'll show myself out.

"And starting at PG for the Fightin' Grapes of Napa State Community College...Jah-VON Quinerlyyyyyyyyyyy!" (lone fan goes crazy in the stands)

He gone (to jail). (posted for the joke; I have no knowledge of guilt/innocence in this particular person)

I want to sign this guy, but just for the nicknames. We could go all literary and reference Catch-22 and call him Major Major Major Majak. We could reference game shows and call him Pats Majak. And these are just off the top of my head. Can you imagine what kind of nicknames we could all come up...

You may know him as Roger Murdock. He's an airline pilot.

BUT WHAT ABOUT THE CHAPTER AFTER THAT?!?