A Clockwork Orange
2022 Cali Winner (Overall Record)
- Joined
- Aug 14, 2011
- Messages
- 1,851
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Bill Simmons used to write that NFL teams needed a VP of Common Sense. Essentially someone who would pull on the reins when football organizations were overthinking decisions. He first mentioned in a 2006 column when he talked about the Texans selecting Mario Williams instead of Reggie Bush. A VP of Common Sense would have said "that's kind of a dumb idea."
What this team needs more than an ST coordinator and more than even a new coach is a Czar of In-Game Management to counter Dino's incredibly poor clock and decision making.
With that czar in place, this team would be at worst 5-1.
---
Dino: Hey guys, let's take the holding penalty and push them out of FG range so their star kicker can't get 3.
Czar: That's a dumb idea coach. You're giving them an extra down where they can get that 10 yards back easily, and then they'd still kick a field goal from the same distance. The downside to this decision could be giving them an opportunity to attack downfield and actually have a chance at a touchdown.
Dino: But I believe in our def...
Czar: This isn't about belief, it's about odds. This dude is a great kicker but hasn't kicked anything longer than 46 yards this year. A 51-yarder is a tough kick, and even if he makes it we get the ball with plenty of time left on the clock and we get it in the second half. Make them score a difficult three points...
Dino: I trust our defense...
Czar: Yes Mr. Referee we'll decline the penalty.
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Dino overthinks things. He thinks he's being smart, but he's just making it more difficult than it actually is. This is football, not rocket science. Give me a czar of in-game management before anything else. Some of these decisions or non-decisions are baffling.
He decides to kick a 45-yard field goal when this team was running at will on a 4th and 2, but then wants to go for 2 from a longer distance to decide the game? His decision-making makes little to no sense. Is he a riverboat gambler (going for two to end the game) or a conservative coach (kicking on a 4th and 2 when your team rushed for more than 300 yards)? His worst feature is his horrific in-game impulses. Get a coach in there to take those decisions away from him and we're golden. I'm only half-joking about this idea.
What this team needs more than an ST coordinator and more than even a new coach is a Czar of In-Game Management to counter Dino's incredibly poor clock and decision making.
With that czar in place, this team would be at worst 5-1.
---
Dino: Hey guys, let's take the holding penalty and push them out of FG range so their star kicker can't get 3.
Czar: That's a dumb idea coach. You're giving them an extra down where they can get that 10 yards back easily, and then they'd still kick a field goal from the same distance. The downside to this decision could be giving them an opportunity to attack downfield and actually have a chance at a touchdown.
Dino: But I believe in our def...
Czar: This isn't about belief, it's about odds. This dude is a great kicker but hasn't kicked anything longer than 46 yards this year. A 51-yarder is a tough kick, and even if he makes it we get the ball with plenty of time left on the clock and we get it in the second half. Make them score a difficult three points...
Dino: I trust our defense...
Czar: Yes Mr. Referee we'll decline the penalty.
---
Dino overthinks things. He thinks he's being smart, but he's just making it more difficult than it actually is. This is football, not rocket science. Give me a czar of in-game management before anything else. Some of these decisions or non-decisions are baffling.
He decides to kick a 45-yard field goal when this team was running at will on a 4th and 2, but then wants to go for 2 from a longer distance to decide the game? His decision-making makes little to no sense. Is he a riverboat gambler (going for two to end the game) or a conservative coach (kicking on a 4th and 2 when your team rushed for more than 300 yards)? His worst feature is his horrific in-game impulses. Get a coach in there to take those decisions away from him and we're golden. I'm only half-joking about this idea.