football jokes

[stuckinbig11]

Ohio State's Urban Meyer on one of his players:
"He doesn't know the meaning of the word fear. In fact, I just saw his
grades and he doesn't know the meaning of a lot of words."
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Why do Tennessee fans wear orange?
So they can dress that way for the game on Saturday, go hunting on
Sunday, and pick up trash on Monday.
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What does the average Alabama player get on his SATs?
Drool.
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How many Michigan freshmen football players does it take to change a
light bulb?
None. That's a sophomore course.
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How did the Georgia football player die from drinking milk?
The cow fell on him.
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Two West Virginia football players were walking in the woods.
One of them said, "Look, a dead bird."
The other looked up in the sky and said, "Where?"
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A University of Cincinnati football player was almost killed yesterday
in a tragic horseback-riding accident.
He fell from a horse and was nearly trampled to death. Luckily, the
manager of the Wal-Mart came out and unplugged the horse.
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What do you say to a University of Miami Hurricane football player
dressed in a three-piece suit? "
"Will the defendant please rise."
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If three Florida State football players are in the same car, who is
driving?
The police officer.
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How can you tell if an Auburn football player has a girlfriend?
There's tobacco juice on both sides of the pickup truck.
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What do you get when you put 32 Arkansas cheerleaders in one room?
A full set of teeth.
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University of Michigan Coach Brady Hoke is only going to dress half of
his players for the game this week; the other half will have to dress
themselves.
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How is the Indiana football team like an opossum?
They play dead at home and get killed on the road.
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Why did the Nebraska linebacker steal a police car?
He saw "911" on the side and thought it was a Porsche.
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How do you get a former Illinois football player off your porch?
Pay him for the pizza.
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What are the longest three years of a University of Kentucky football
players life?
Freshman I, Freshman II, and Freshman III

Quote of the day, "I was so stupid in college, they hired a footbal
player to tutor me."--Terry Bradshaw.

 

[Crusty]

My favorite football quote: John McKay, former USC coach then HC of the hapless Tampa Bay Bucs expansion team, when asked what he thought of the team execution replied, "I'm in favor of it."

 

[Upstate]

"Terry Bradshaw was so dumb, he couldn't spell 'cat' if you spotted him the 'c' and the 't'."

 

[Rocco]

What do you say to a University of Miami Hurricane football player
dressed in a three-piece suit? "
"Will the defendant please rise."

What are the first 4 words out of his mouth:

"Not guilty your honor."

 

[HtownOrange]

Love em! The Alabama joke is spot on! Applies to most SEC players.

 

[texascpa]

Rutgers!