He’s had three years to get his act together and he hasn’t.
Spare me the mental health issues stuff. Lots and lots of people his age have mental health issues. Some are incredibly serious. That doesn’t mean one gets a pass for being ridiculously immature.
Best of luck to him. I hope for his sake he wises up before too long.
From Drew Magary at Defector
Beware Of A#$%^&*(@ Trying To Co-Opt Mental Health Awareness
Time for your weekly edition of the Defector Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. And buy Drew’s book, The Night The Lights Went Out, while you’re at it. Today, we're talking about the two-minute warning, T-Larry, rocks, Lou, washing machines, onerous fruits, and more.
Your letters:
Anon:
To what extent does someone disclosing that they have a mental health issue absolve or excuse their behaviour? In this case, a former colleague of mine always says, "you know I have [this particular mental illness], and because of that you know that when I feel backed into a corner I lash out.” This person then proceeds to send countless unhinged emails to dozens of people, including some that threaten to show up at people's offices and houses because those people are, "out of time." He has not taken any steps to address those underlying mental health issues. I try to be sensitive to others' struggles, but am I the for refusing to engage with this person today and for probably never forgiving this person for the threats they've made against me and my family?
You are not the . I’ll refer you to this passage from James Robins’s recent
review of Walter Isaacson’s biography of Elon Musk:
Isaacson suggests Musk lacks an empathy gene, or might just be wired differently. At multiple points he implies Musk may be autistic. Musk himself has claimed that he has Asperger’s, though he hasn’t revealed whether a doctor told him this. (Asperger’s is an outdated diagnosis anyway, its characteristics since folded into the autism spectrum.) Again, Isaacson is asking the wrong question. It is not a trait or feature of the condition of autism to be cruel.
Same deal here. Just because you suffer from a mental illness doesn’t mean that everything you do is the fault
of that illness, nor does that illness always absolve you of the worst things you do. In the case of—for example—certain retired NFL players who are suffering from severe brain damage, the line there can be indistinct. In the case of Musk, and your co-worker, it’s not. You can be mentally ill and still be a complete .
I know because I’ve used my own brain damage as a crutch to excuse my own poor behavior. I didn’t threaten people or anything that severe, but I definitely lashed out and was a general dick, even to those I love. Blaming all of it on my mental health issues was a cheap way of excusing myself and to avoid proper treatment. I didn’t deserve a Get Out Of Jail Free card for any of that, and many other heads do not.
I don’t think that’s a controversial thing to say, even in the age of mental health awareness. The goal behind the current movement is to get everyone to recognize mental health problems both in others and in themselves. That recognition requires nuance. It involves familiarizing yourself with a loose range of mental health issues, where they originate from, and how to potentially treat them. It doesn’t mean making “mental health issues” a blanket term for an impossibly wide range of conditions, because that allows for shitbags to game the system. It’s incumbent on the rest of us to intuit when such people are leaning on that crutch far too hard, and
for their own ends. Musk is a perfect example of this, as is a work colleague who makes
direct threats to his colleagues and should be disciplined for it. (I also wouldn't hesitate to notify law enforcement in this instance.) It’s no sin to call those people out on their . It’s
necessary, in fact.
that guy, is what I’m saying.
