Parents of players...

[jekelish]

You may have missed the premise of my post... It was asking whether we should suggest to parents that they do not post here. It had nothing to do with whether or not fans should/could express opinions about players.

I can't speak for any other parent, but if my son is lucky enough to play for SU in 15 years, I'm sure as hell going to be off the board. I react poorly to being criticized myself, I can't imagine seeing people criticize my kid. I think the only parents whose kid was basically Teflon in the entire time he was here (and even he had some detractors) was Gerry McNamara. Unless you're a player whose name is Gerry McNamara, your parents probably shouldn't read these boards, to be honest.

 

[AlaskaSU]

In competitive sports everything is contingent on performance. When I coached adult sports, (volunteer - I'm not good enough to get paid) I listened to other coaches and the advice I took is that its all about winning. I got good players and gave them all the minutes. Some players got splinters but they hopefully had fun in practices and even improved. Some complained but it was drowned out by the overwhelming winning spirit. Winning cures everything. Similarly, losing infects everything. It would be fine for a parent to post for a winning team but nothing but trouble to post for a losing team. I feared that this might happen. Losing also leads to team dissention. Players, like fans, look for answers. Buckle up, this season will be lumpy.

 

[MSOrange]

I react poorly to being criticized myself, I can't imagine seeing people criticize my kid..

Thanks for the heads up Jek. I won't tell you what I really think about you then

 

[rrlbees]

CTO with all due respect a fan has the right to express how they feel on this board or any board.

Not completely. This is a private board. People aren't allowed to express how they feel about a player if they are going to use words such as garbage, sucks, blows, should transfer, etc. Those types of posts are not tolerated.

 

[PoppyHart]

I think critiques of a player's performance on the court, or of how a player's behavior off the court or in the locker room may directly impact the team's performance ON the court, are well within bounds, however harsh they may seem. Kid can't shoot, has hands of rocks, yadda yadda yadda.

When the comments fall outside that realm, they can really be destructive and inappropriate. A couple that come to mind don't necessarily involve SU players, but rather Ed Cooley and Tim Abromaitis, and in my view, were way out of line but never censored. But, with the benefit of hindsight, it would seem that placing a muzzle on comments regarding guys like Fab Melo or Louis McCroskey would have been equally unwise.

I suppose that puts me in the "it's the internet" camp for whatever that's worth.

 

[Bayside44]

Up to them, personally I don't think it's the best idea.

End of the day this is a fan site, none of us are really vested in a player or coach.

 

[orangefog]

I think it has been pretty consistent, that parents of players are warned about the conduct of the board once their child is actively playing. It pretty hard to convey they negativity, that is not exclusive to this message board or SU fans. So, they typically are warned, however, nothing can prepare them for the crowd that comes out when the team loses. Most of the positive posters hide out for a few days while the doomsdayers run wild. It has to be tough for a parent of a player to read this stuff, and they probably shouldn't come here, but it is a shame for the great majority of us, who enjoy the perspective that the parents bring. Bob, if you don't post again, I understand, but I hope you know that quite a few of us are big fans of your son, and we know that he is going to be an important part of a lot of wins in the next few years.

 

[Eagles20]

Was a lurker for awhile before coming on board. Listen, this board can be great and has been and will continue too.

That being said. This board is negative. With more and more doom n gloom and knee jerk reaction posters.

I also think some have forgotten what being a fan is. "If you are a fan of the team then you should ride with them WIN or lose".

I don't understand how every post you make has this same theme. You are not a moderator, its not your job to clean up the board. This board is less negative then all the other boards I have ever visited. My sample size is not very large, but some of the other things I have read on other teams message board is down right unbelievable when it comes to blatantly disrespecting student athletes. People's criticism is pretty fair here and you really don't see too much back and forth between posters disliking each other. I don't think anyone has said, "I'm done following this program". You are really blowing things out of proportion. When a team is losing you have to expect reading criticism and some negativity.There are still many posters on this board who offer so much.

 

[pearl31]

I get a kick out of the ones that you simply never see around here at all when the team is doing great (most of the past 3-4 years)... and then when things aren't going well, they magically appear and revel in the assortment of This Team Sucks threads... good stuff it is!

 

[HoustonCuse]

That is exactly my point... he was welcomed into a love-in here...everything he said was "liked,"... and he felt he was among his new best friends. Then, BJ's play did not live up to the expectations of some... and suddenly all the warm feelings disappeared.

I personally think that OGBJ is loved and welcomed here. Because of a work function, I missed the St. John's game (first game I have missed seeing since the Michigan State Sweet 16 game in 2000), I also haven't read the board for multiple days, so I don't know how bad it got in here, but I can imagine. The fact is, this is place where people come to celebrate great performances by Syracuse sports teams but also to commiserate and vent when things don't go well. I have never thought it would be a healthy environment for anyone truly associated with the team - sports message board meltdowns are well known phenomena! That said - the passion of the fanbase is one of the things that attracts student athletes to Syracuse (among many other things of course), but that kind of strong passion is a double edged sword.

Anyway - as a fan, I have been frustrated this year like most others. I have noted when BJ or others have had poor showings and when they have done well. The bottom line is that BJ chose to play his college ball at Syracuse. That is a sacred thing and I'm always grateful to him and his family for that, whether he never plays again or becomes an All American. I appreciate him and his family and suspect 99% of everyone here does, but people lose their ever loving minds after losses - it's just the way stuff works. I've certainly never meant anything as a personal insult to anyone and if OG or anyone else ever interpreted any of my posts that way, I apologize. Again I suspect most don't intend their comments to be as personally hurtful as they probably are to a close relative of players or teams they are venting about.

 

[PeteCalvin]

Over the years, we've had many parents both here and on the football board. When their son commits, they post here... and it's a big love-in. Then, as soon as the player does not live up to a poster's expectations (realistic or not), the player starts getting criticized (sometimes brutally). The parent (with few exceptions) leaves... with a bad taste of SU fandom in his SU memory bank.

In addition to the parents who post here, there are many more who start to read the board when their son commits... and they, too, enjoy the initial love-in. In their case also, reality soon sets in ... and, if they're smart, they stop reading the board.

The problem, as seen in the instant case, is that everyone enjoyed OGBJ20's posts... and treated OGBJ20 as their best friend ... until BJ's play did not meet their expectations. The result was one very sad and unhappy father. Not only was he disappointed by his son's play; he was also wounded by the comments from those he considered his friends.

Maybe we should just tell parents at the beginning that they should not come here.

I love BJ's game. He's young. So is the rest of the team. He will get there. When our shots start falling, watch the F out. There is no reason to bash these kids. I'm as passionate as the next SU fan, and even get upset with poor decisions made during games. But that is the coach and die hard fan in me. I vent during games, but I am always 100% supportive of these kids that work their asses off to get better. There are plenty of knuckleheads that ruin the experience for the parents and the kids, but I hope they realize that the knuckleheads are not the majority. They only have the majority of the posts after games. I disappear from the board after a loss, both for my own sanity and for fear that I'll get drawn into the bash fest.

 

[kirbivore]

I get a kick out of the ones that you simply never see around here at all when the team is doing great (most of the past 3-4 years)... and then when things aren't going well, they magically appear and revel in the assortment of This Team Sucks threads... good stuff it is!

I'm surprised Blue Curtain hasn't stormed back this year. Perhaps he was banned.

 

[CaptainJ]

And Grandparents.

The Gods have heard my wailing!! Both Mantonio and another western timezoner, chuck norris, have returned!!! All that is left is BRNCUSEFVRCUSE and my Christmas list will be complete!

 

[CaptainJ]

OGBJ has 800 posts, and 4200 likes. Isn't that evidence that the Syracusefan.com community has welcomed him with open arms and the overall sentiment towards him and his son have been quite positive?

Omar, that post indeed lived up to your avatar for possibly the truthful post of the day, regardless of what one makes of it.

 

[CaptainJ]

I'm surprised Blue Curtain hasn't stormed back this year. Perhaps he was banned.

Bees has made it clear that the first rule of being banned is we are not allowed to talk about being banned!

 

[CaptainJ]

Over the years, we've had many parents both here and on the football board. When their son commits, they post here... and it's a big love-in. Then, as soon as the player does not live up to a poster's expectations (realistic or not), the player starts getting criticized (sometimes brutally). The parent (with few exceptions) leaves... with a bad taste of SU fandom in his SU memory bank.

In addition to the parents who post here, there are many more who start to read the board when their son commits... and they, too, enjoy the initial love-in. In their case also, reality soon sets in ... and, if they're smart, they stop reading the board.

The problem, as seen in the instant case, is that everyone enjoyed OGBJ20's posts... and treated OGBJ20 as their best friend ... until BJ's play did not meet their expectations. The result was one very sad and unhappy father. Not only was he disappointed by his son's play; he was also wounded by the comments from those he considered his friends.

Maybe we should just tell parents at the beginning that they should not come here.

I find some suppositions and absolutes in this. While I'm disappointed In BJ's play, I am not shocked and in no way feel any different toward OGBJ20 than I did before. He provides a perspective we get from no other member on this board. I don't mean just as a father of a player, but as a former player himself. Not enough folks have taken into account that he brings that to the table as well. I know I goof around a lot on here, but there are times when I think there are things that would serve us all to be reminded of.

CTO's question was of course loaded, trying to make a point, and it seems to have worked well. As for BJ, I'll go as far to say that given the proper circumstances(PT), he could have a senior season not that different than CJ's senior season. Mantonio is Mr Positive and strangely missing when we needed him. I am his fan, Fantonio. With this question, CTO was seeking to be Bantonio!

 

[TBCuse11]

That is exactly my point... he was welcomed into a love-in here...everything he said was "liked,"... and he felt he was among his new best friends. Then, BJ's play did not live up to the expectations of some... and suddenly all the warm feelings disappeared.

Well this is sad. I have certainly voiced my displeasure with certain players (BJ is not one of them ironically), but at the end of the day its just a game. DO i go crazy when Trevor is 1-10 yet logs 40 minutes? Yep. DO i also cheer as loud as anyone when he makes a shot? Yes.

As for BJ, i hope his dad isnt soured forever. i think he still has something to give our program. He probably should have redshirted, but he still has size and athleticism that you cant teach.

 

[Capt. Tuttle]

Maybe I'm just not a sensitive person, but i have yet to read anything on this board that I thought was out of line. If you can't constructively criticize then what is the point of having a message board? People are always going to differ on opinions.I have yet to see anyone call another poster an idiot or moron or anything like that. If it wasn't for the rain...would we ever appreciate the sunny days?

Its not your son.

 

[Eric15]

There is no doubt in my mind that if BJ works hard at his game, that his career could be similar to that of Nichols or Southerland - a small forward who was used relatively sparingly as an underclassmen and then exploded onto the scene as a junior/senior.

 

[Melancer46]

I haven't been able to post here quite as often as year's past, but yeah, if I ever had a kid that played for this team, I would have to bow out of this message board as well. Kudos to BJ's dad for sticking around as long as he has so far. I'd be pretty upset to be reading negative stuff about my own kids even if they are struggling a bit.

At the end of the day, this is a team with a lot of inexperienced guys being expected to do a lot of heavy lifting. There's going to be a lot of bumps along the way, but I've been encouraged by pretty much every player on this team so far. They aren't playing great basketball yet, but they've all shown flashes here and there of what they can become. Maybe it's because I've been conditioned to view teams that way since I'm a Milwaukee Bucks, Chicago Cubs, and Tampa Bay Buccaneers fan (so I have a ton of experience in rebuilding/transitional kind of years), but I've enjoyed watching the team so far; probably even more than I enjoyed last year's team despite last year's having much more success to this point.

 

[MSOrange]

I haven't been able to post here quite as often as year's past, but yeah, if I ever had a kid that played for this team, I would have to bow out of this message board as well. Kudos to BJ's dad for sticking around as long as he has so far. I'd be pretty upset to be reading negative stuff about my own kids even if they are struggling a bit.

At the end of the day, this is a team with a lot of inexperienced guys being expected to do a lot of heavy lifting. There's going to be a lot of bumps along the way, but I've been encouraged by pretty much every player on this team so far. They aren't playing great basketball yet, but they've all shown flashes here and there of what they can become. Maybe it's because I've been conditioned to view teams that way since I'm a Milwaukee Bucks, Chicago Cubs, and Tampa Bay Buccaneers fan (so I have a ton of experience in rebuilding/transitional kind of years), but I've enjoyed watching the team so far; probably even more than I enjoyed last year's team despite last year's having much more success to this point.

Bucks, Cubs and Buccaneers? Wow what a trifecta! And I thought I had it bad with the Bills

 

[Melancer46]

Bucks, Cubs and Buccaneers? Wow what a trifecta! And I thought I had it bad with the Bills

Oh, I forgot. I live in a Bills family, so I've adopted them as my #2 team lol.

 

[bballbeadle]

I was in Florida this weekend attending a friend's sister's funeral. My daughter kept me apprised of what was happening in the game, but I wasn't able to read it in real time. I also was only able to get on the board for a little bit later on that evening. It's amazing how calm I have felt about that terrible loss because I didn't read anything about it!

If I were BJ's dad, I wouldn't come on here and read things. He needs comfort and reassurance. I am not sure where he will get it: his own family, other player's parents, the coaching staff (??), church, Oprah and Deepak's daily meditations? He and BJ have invested so many hopes and dreams about BJ being a college player, a SYRACUSE player. For us, a bad season may be bitter disappointment, but for the players, the families, and the coaches, it must be agony.

I don't know how sports teams and their families Keep Calm and Carry On. I wonder how DaJuan does it? This season will be a challenge for all of us. The Syracuse Family will need to stay strong and it will be hard. We can do it!

Love you guys,
Beadle

 

[llandz]

Wow at these comments that were deleted. This is a forum, which is a form of social media. What CTO deleted is a form of cyber bullying. This is just not acceptable. You can not attack a person online anymore than you would in person. Hiding behind our made up names does not make this type of behavior ok. Now if someone has a valid criticism, I think that is fine. I even remember some posts where BJs dad talked about how BJ was working on things that we had pointed out. He provided an insight that is different than we usually get. I think we were privileged to have him on here.
Now I have to say a lot of people did not know he was BJs dad. I actually remember a funny series of posts this summer where someone said they had a good source who told them BJ was going to transfer. His dad, incognito, said that he knew he was going to stay and had a better source than the poster's source. This went back and forth, and some of us also commented that this guy really was a good source. It was funny that the original had no idea he was talking to BJs father. So some who made awful comments that went past the normal critique probably had no idea BJ's father was on here.
As for whether or not he should be on here, I think it might be a good idea to point out that it might be rough at times. I don't think the decision really should be anyone's other than that individual. Just make sure they know what may happen so they can make an informed decision.

 

[senorpalmer]

My advice to a parent of any player would be that if they want to read the forum, they'd better have some thick skin. And it will serve them well to to keep that thick skin as long as their child is going to be in the public eye and have any sort of fame. And while this may seem counterintuitive, the more success and more fame that child attains, the more criticism and bashing he is also going to receive as more people get to know his name. You can't please everyone in life and you can't spend time worrying about what every last person thinks of you or your loved one. At least in a forum such as this one, there are certain rules people are expected to follow, and those who don't will have their posts deleted and/or their rights to post removed. In most other settings, the rules are less strict, if there are any rules at all.