CA Monk
I'm Woke, But I'm Very Groggy.
- Joined
- Apr 16, 2015
- Messages
- 2,683
- Like
- 9,721
Today I become a made man.
I graduate from being a raw-boned, pay-your-own-way "Walk On" (249 msgs) to a seasoned "Scout Team" member (250 msgs).
The moderators have told me I will now receive the following perks:
1. Full-fledged Training Table with the rest of the made members. No longer will I have to sit at the walk on table and beg for scraps like the rest of the non-scholarship forum members.
2. A lock of Floyd Little's hair. Since he's been bald for decades I'm a little concerned where it'll come from.
3. An enhanced director's cut version of The Express, where Coach Schwartzwalder is accidentally exposed to radiation at Nine Mile Point and is transformed into a buff, bespectacled Superhero called the Coachinator. He then single-handedly tears down crumbling Archbold and builds an air-conditioned 70,000 seat Ernie Davis Superdome which saves the program and leads to a string of National Championships.
4. I'm taught the double secret "44" handshake allowing me access to Kent Syverud's executive lavatory.
5. A Jurassic discount card granting me 25% off a second entree when an entree of equal or greater value is purchased at the Dinosaur.
6. Access to the "What's Greg Robinson Up To" web cam.
7. Continued privileges to write all my fondest hopes for our beloved, exasperating/exhilirating Orange.
This just in. I've been told #7 is the only perk I'm getting.
I'll take it. It's all I really want anyway.
I graduate from being a raw-boned, pay-your-own-way "Walk On" (249 msgs) to a seasoned "Scout Team" member (250 msgs).
The moderators have told me I will now receive the following perks:
1. Full-fledged Training Table with the rest of the made members. No longer will I have to sit at the walk on table and beg for scraps like the rest of the non-scholarship forum members.
2. A lock of Floyd Little's hair. Since he's been bald for decades I'm a little concerned where it'll come from.
3. An enhanced director's cut version of The Express, where Coach Schwartzwalder is accidentally exposed to radiation at Nine Mile Point and is transformed into a buff, bespectacled Superhero called the Coachinator. He then single-handedly tears down crumbling Archbold and builds an air-conditioned 70,000 seat Ernie Davis Superdome which saves the program and leads to a string of National Championships.
4. I'm taught the double secret "44" handshake allowing me access to Kent Syverud's executive lavatory.
5. A Jurassic discount card granting me 25% off a second entree when an entree of equal or greater value is purchased at the Dinosaur.
6. Access to the "What's Greg Robinson Up To" web cam.
7. Continued privileges to write all my fondest hopes for our beloved, exasperating/exhilirating Orange.
This just in. I've been told #7 is the only perk I'm getting.
I'll take it. It's all I really want anyway.
jk, welcome to the club...
