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[QUOTE="walsh2012, post: 5455156, member: 7048"]
When i was taking classes for my writing minor - which makes me an expert, self-published novel coming soon - I nervously raised my hand.

My Writing 101 teacher - Mr. Pencil, but we called him Mr. Pen - well, his face went screwy like a screw that's being screwed in by a screwdriver.

"I just introduced the syllabus," he said "what could you possibly have a question about? If you need to use the bathroom just go."

"it's not that, teach" I said, having already used the pisser three times in the fifteen minutes the course had started.

"What do you think separates a funny tweet from an exceptionally well written funny tweet? You see, my mom is very, very sick and I need to get a job at the tweet factory. I need to be a bigwig there so I can support her."

Mr. Pen - having seen many situations like this in his time - nodded knowingly.

"The key" he began "is to be an obnoxious a$$hole to the extent that your hackery confuses the average person. Don't make them laugh, make them angry."

I took this to heart. These were wise words.

I've been working at Barstool Sports ever since.
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