The Ty-D-Bowl | Syracusefan.com

The Ty-D-Bowl

SWC75

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My brother teaches at the University of Hawaii. Their football team is 0-10 with games coming up against Wyoming, (4-6), and Army (3-7). They are trying to avoid finishing 0-12, as they did back in 1998, when they were coached by their version of G-Rob, a man named Fred Von Appen who had had a three decade career as an assistant coach and was Bill Walsh’s defensive coordinator with the 49ers and at Stanford. Hawaii was his first head coaching job. Despite his credentials, he was a disaster as head coach, going 5-31 in three years before he was fired. Naturally he had a derogatory nickname, “Fred What Happened?” Sound familiar? My brother and I were laughing about this and I recalled a goofy idea I had some years back.


What if there was a sort of BCS for the lousy teams as well as the best one and they chose the two worst teams in the country to play each other and the loser would be crowned the worst team in the country? Nobody would ever participate in something like this but, if they did, the result could be a hotly contested and probably entertaining game that would probably attract some public interest. My idea would be to call this the “Ty-D-Bowl” after the toilet cleanser which for year has advertised itself with goofy commercials featuring a man in a naval suit and a boat floating in the water tank and telling housewives about the product:


Johnny Carson used to make fun of the Ty-D-Bol man and even play him in skits. I remember, (but was unable to find a clip), that the Ty-D-Bol man originally was seen playing an ukulele. I figured if Ty-D-Bol would be willing to sponsor the Ty-D-Bowl, that the Ty-D-Bol Man could entertain at halftime with his ukulele.


Anyway, remembering this, I wondered who would have been in the Ty-D-Bowl over the years had there been one. I decided to look at the post-war period, (1946 onward). I listed the teams that had the worst numerical records each year and then looked at point differentials to break any ties. Specifically, since teams don’t always play the same number of games I looked at wins and ties: who had the fewest of them? To me a 0-9-0 team is the same as a 0-10-0 team. They just haven’t played as many games. If the 0-9-0 team were to play another game, off of their previous results, I’d assume they would wind up 0-10-0, (unless the 10th game was in the Ty-D-Bowl, of course). Then I’d use their point differentials per game to break ties. The teams have to have been considered major colleges, or Division 1A at the time. Here are the teams I’ve chosen for the Ty-D-Bowl from 1946 onward, with the team with the worst record or point differential being listed to the left. The record is their wins, losses and ties and the average scores of their games. If there has been a name change, I’ve used the current name, (Texas Western became Texas El Paso, West Texas A&M was West Texas State, etc.)

1946 Fordham 0-7-0 (6-33) vs. Kansas State 0-9-0 (5-26)
1947 Kansas State 0-10-0 (7-28) vs. Stanford 0-9-0 (8-24)
1948 Virginia Tech 0-8-1 (3-23) vs. Tulsa 0-9-1 (14-33)
Tulsa had been 9-1-0 two year before and would be 9-1-1 two years later.
1949 Brigham Young 0-11-0 (10-34) vs. Mississippi St. 0-8-1 (4-25)

1950 Virginia Tech 0-10-0 (7-43) vs. Auburn 0-10-0 (3-26)
Tech’s Robert McNeish was 1-25-3 in three years in Blacksburg.
1951 New York U. 1-7-0 (10-41) vs. New Mexico St. 1-9-0 (12-34)
The Violets, a pre-war power, gave up the sport in 1952.
1952 Richmond 1-9-0 (12-30) vs. Kansas State 1-9-0 (8-26)
1953 Davidson 0-9-0 (6-33) vs. No. Carolina St. 1-9-0 (8-27)
1954 Kansas 0-10-0 (9-38) vs. Pennsylvania 0-9-0 (8-34)
Steve Sebo was 0-9 his first two years at Penn, 7-1-1 in his last, (1959).
1955 Pennsylvania 0-9-0 (4-30) vs. Alabama 0-10-0 (5-26)
How bad a coach was JB “Ears” Whitworth? He went 0-10-0 at ‘Bama!
1956 Marquette 0-9-0 (8-34) vs. William & Mary 0-9-1 (8-25)
1957 Northwestern 0-9-0 (6-30) vs. Marquette 0-10-0 (7-24)
Northwestern’s coach was none other than Ara Parseghian.
1958 Montana 0-10-0 (9-30) vs. Columbia 1-8-0 (4-32)
1959 Virginia 0-10-0 (8-39) vs. Montana 1-8-0 (9-30)
Richard Voris won his second game at Virginia and then lost 28 in a row.

1960 Hardin-Simmons 0-10-0 (7-31) vs. Virginia 0-10-0 (10-33)
Howard McChesney replaced Sammy Baugh at H-S and went 0-20. Perfection!
1961 Hardin-Simmons 0-10-0 (4-38) vs. Illinois 0-9-0 (6-32)
The Illini won the Rose Bowl two years later. Sophomores become seniors.
1962 Kansas State 0-10-0 (4-28) vs. Tulane 0-10-0 (8-29)
1963 Wake Forest 1-9-0 (4-32) vs. Lehigh 1-8-0 (9-24)
1964 Texas El Paso 0-8-2 (6-22) vs. Pacific 1-9-0 (7-30)
Texas Western, (UTEP), hired Bobby Dobbs who went 8-3 the next year.
1965 Kansas State 0-10-0 (4-30) vs. Richmond 0-10-0 (5-29)
1966 Kansas State 0-9-1 (7-23) vs. Pittsburgh 1-9-0 (11-33)
Doug Weaver coached three winless teams on his way to a 8-60-1 record.
1967 Marshall 0-10-0 (7-31) vs. Maryland 0-9-0 (5-26)
Between 1966 and 1983 the Thundering Herd won 38 games. In the ‘90s they won 114.
1968 New Mexico 0-10-0 (17-40) vs. Wisconsin 0-10-0 (9-31)
The Badgers had been 0-9-1 the previous year.
1969 Virginia Military 0-10-0 (8-41) vs. Los Angeles St. 0-9-0 (7-37)

1970 Wichita State 0-9-0 (11-42) vs. Holy Cross 0-10-1 (11-31)
The Shockers lost 31 players in a plane crash, cancelled their next two games but finished out their schedule.
1971 Brown 9-0-0 (15-26) vs. Iowa 1-10-0 (11-34)
1972 Colorado State 1-10-0 (12-38) vs. North Texas St. 1-10-0 (13-32)
1973 Texas El Paso 0-11-0 (13-49) vs. Army 0-10-0 (7-38)
Florida State and Iowa were also winless. Yes, Florida State!
1974 Wake Forest 1-10-0 (7-32) vs. Texas Christian 1-10-0 (7-31)
1975 Virginia 1-10-0 (16-39) vs. Texas Christian 1-10-0 (9-30)
1976 Texas Christian 0-11-0 (12-39) vs. Northern Illinois 1-10-0 (5-33)
TCU was the only school to make the Little Dance three times in a row. Jim Shofner: 2-31.
1977 Texas El Paso 1-10-0 (14-42) vs. Rice 1-10-0 (14-42)
How can the great state of Texas produce so many lousy teams?
1978 Boston College 0-11-0 (14-27) vs. Northwestern 0-10-1 (8-40)
1979 Richmond 0-11-0 (7-25) vs. Pennsylvania 0-9-0 (11-28)

1980 Northwestern 0-11-0 (14-40) vs. Oregon State 0-11-0 (10-35)
1981 Colorado State 0-12-0 (14-42) vs. Northwestern 0-11-0 (7-46)
From 1976-1981, the Wildcats were 3-62-1. Three. Sixty-two. And one.
1982 Rice 0-11-0 (13-33) vs. Richmond 0-10-0 (10-27)
1983 W Texas A&M 0-10-1 (14-27) vs. Minnesota 1-10-0 (16-47)
Nebraska squeaked by the Golden Gophers 84-13.
1984 Indiana 0-11-0 (17-31) vs. Utah State 1-10-0 (18-35)
Bill Mallory went on to coach Indiana for the next 13 years.
1985 Kansas State 1-10-0 (9-27) vs. Texas El Paso 1-10-0 (18-34)
1986 New Mexico St. 1-10-0 (17-38) vs. Memphis 1-10-0 (9-27)
1987 New Mexico 0-11-0 (19-40) vs. Kansas State 0-10-1 (12-38)
New Mexico must be the worst football state in the union. The Lolos and the Aggies have each been in the Little Dance four times.
1988 Kansas State 0-11-0 (16-41) vs. Rice 0-11-0 (15-33)
Stan Parrish, Bill Snyder’s predecessor, was 2-30-1.
1989 New Mexico St. 0-11-0 (15-39) vs. Northwestern 0-11-0 (22-45)
Mike Knoll was a scintillating 4-40 in Las Cruces.

1990 Cincinnati 1-10-0 (16-42) vs. Fullerton St. 1-11-0 (19-40)
Fullerton gave up the sport two years later after setting an NCAA record for fumbles.
1991 Oklahoma St. 0-10-1 (10-28) vs. Tulane 1-10-0 (13-35)
1992 Temple 1-10-0 (12-35) vs. E. Michigan 1-10-0 (11-31)
1993 Kent 0-11-0 (14-32) vs. Temple 1-10-0 (10-48)
1994 Ohio U. 0-11-0 (7-24) vs. Iowa State 0-10-1 (17-33)
1995 So. Methodist 1-10-0 (12-32) vs. Temple 1-10-0 (17-32)
The “death penalty” had been from 1987-88. From 1989-95 the Mustangs were 13-61-3.
1996 Duke 0-11-0 (15-34) vs. UNLV 1-11-0 (23-46)
1997 Rutgers 0-11-0 (17-45) vs. No. Illinois 0-11-0 (12-35)
From 1996-2002 Rutgers was 14-64.
1998 Kent 0-11-0 (14-41) vs. Hawaii 0-12-0 (12-35)
The Fred What Happened? Era at Hawaii: 2-10, 3-9 and 0-12.
1999 Buffalo 0-11-0 (12-39) vs. Ball State 0-11-0 (14-33)
Buffalo went D1A in 1999 and went 10-69 the next seven years.

2000 Duke 0-11-0 (14-39) vs. La-Monroe 1-10-0 (9-38)
2001 Duke 0-11-0 (19-45) vs. Houston 0-11-0 (17-39)
The Blue Devils, once a great power, went 15-105 from ’96 to ’07.
2002 Army 1-11-0 (19-41) vs. Tulsa 1-11-0 (19-35)
2003 So. Methodist 0-12-0 (11-32) vs. Army 0-13-0 (16-37)
The 2003 Army team is the only 0-13 team in college football history.
2004 Central Florida 0-11-0 (16-33) vs. W. Michigan 1-10-0 (23-40)
2005 Temple 0-11-0 (10-45) vs. N. Mexico St. 0-12-0 (17-39)
2006 Duke 0-12-0 (15-34) vs. Florida Intl. 0-12-0 (10-26)
2007 Florida Intl. 1-11-0 (15-39) vs. Idaho 1-11-0 (22-37)
2008 Washington 0-12-0 (13-39) vs. No. Texas St. 1-11-0 (20-48)
Washington had been 227-101-3 from 1975 to 2002
2009 E. Michigan 0-12-0 (16-38) vs. W. Kentucky 0-12-0 (20-40)
The Hilltoppers, 2002 FCS champs are one of those small colleges that made the leap to D1A for the money.

2010 New Mexico 1-11-0 (16-44) vs. Memphis 1-11-0 (16-40)
2011 New Mexico 1-11-0 (12-42) vs. Akron 1-11-0 (14-39)
2012 So. Mississippi 0-12-0 (20-38) vs. Massachusetts 1-11-0 (13-40)
The Golden Eagles were 560-373-27 all-time and had won a bowl game in 2011. They are 0-22 since.

As of this date, (11/22), there are five winless teams: Connecticut, Georgia State, Hawaii, Miami of Ohio and Southern Mississippi. Eight more have only one win: California, Florida International, Idaho, Iowa State, Purdue, New Mexico State, Purdue, Temple, Western Michigan. This year’s Ty-D-Bowl, (if there really was such a thing), would be between two of those teams. Florida International, Hawaii, Idaho, Iowa State, New Mexico State, Temple and Western Michigan would find their surrounding familiar, having been there before.


The most common Ty-D-Bowl participant would have been Kansas State, who would have qualified no less than 9 times. Another group of Purple Wildcats Northwestern would be a distant second with 5 appearances. (Which underscores the achievements of Bill Snyder, Gary Barnett, Randy Walker and Pat Fitzgerald in making those schools not only respectable but powerful in recent years.) Duke, New Mexico, New Mexico State, Northwestern, Richmond, Temple, Texas-El Paso and Virginia would have been there four times each. Army, Pennsylvania, Texas Christian would have participated three times each. Eastern Michigan, Florida International Hardin-Simmons, Kent, Marquette, Memphis, Montana, Northern Illinois, North Texas State, Rice, Southern Methodist, Tulane, Tulsa, Virginia Tech and Wake Forest would have been there twice. A total of 82 teams to date would have “made it” to the Ty-D-Bowl.
 
You have W-A-Y too much time on your hands! ;)
 
Goes to show you how "relatively successful" Greg Robinson was at Syracuse. Yes, it could have been worse.
 
Nice to see that even in the depths of the 70s, SU didn't qualify for this game.
It's a really funny idea. Maybe instead of playing an entire game, they could just let representatives from each team come out at halftime of the BCS championship game. Flip a coin. Loser of the flip is the biggest loser.
 

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