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ToT: URI vs SU (for reals)
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[QUOTE="K Otto XLIV, post: 1462465"] It seems today that all you see is violence in movies and sex on TV. But where are those good old fashioned values on which we used to rely? Lucky there’s a King Otto guy. Lucky there’s a man who positively can do all the things that make us laugh and cry! He’s King Oooot-toooo! Welcome to this week’s Tale of the Tape where the University of Rhode Island Rams take on the Syracuse University Orange. Let’s get started. Born on Date URI: 1892 vs SU: 1879 Otto’s Edge: SU… older is better URI started as the Rhode Island College of Agriculture and Mechanic Arts before changing to Rhode Island State College and finally to its current name. GPS (location) URI: Kingston vs SU: Syracuse Otto’s Edge: SU… just because Syracuse was named after Syracuse, Sicily. Rhode Island’s name comes from the Ottoman island of Rhodes. Since Otto the Orange is their ruler, the state basically belongs to us. State URI: Rhode Island and Providence Plantations vs SU: New York Otto’s Edge: URI… since it has the longest state name. Interesting fact: Rhode Island shares a border with NY, well Long Island if they count. Student Size URI: 13,500 vs SU: 15,000 Otto’s Edge: SU… a public school smaller than a private? Well being the smallest state certainly helps. Edumacation URI: 161st vs SU: 58th Otto’s Edge: SU… higher ranking in partying too School Colors URI: Keaney Blue, White, and Navy vs SU: Navy, White, and Gray Otto’s Edge: URI… the light blue was named after their former HoF basketball coach Frank Keaney. Sticking with basketball... Famous basketball player married URI: Lamar Odom & Khloe Kardashian vs SU: Melo & La La Otto’s Edge: SU… the Kardashians make us dumber Something that people should watch instead... Cable news URI: Christiane Amanpour and John King vs SU: Megyn Kelly and Contessa Brewer Otto’s Edge: SU… Trump might not like Kelly but at least she isn’t stealing our jobs like Amanpour. But Trump does like himself some beauty pageants... Miss Rhode Island URI: 3 former Miss URIs have won vs SU: Alexandra Curtis the current winner Otto’s Edge: SU… maybe she can win Miss America too Nothing is more American than football... 1st year of football URI: 1895 vs SU: 1889 Otto’s Edge: SU… they have been around awhile for such a small time program However our history with them is small... Head to Head URI: 0 Ws vs SU: 2 Ws Otto’s Edge: SU… and that should turn into 3-0 All Time Ws URI: 384 vs SU: 705 Otto’s Edge: SU… they might have history but it isn’t successful. Maybe they should rename the school Rutgers. Speaking of failure… Winning Seasons since 2001 URI: 0.0 vs SU: 3 out of 13 Otto’s Edge: SU… a program worse than ours in the 2000s? Maybe this can cheer us up… National Champs URI: 0 vs SU: 1 Otto’s Edge: SU… it isn’t much but it is something Conference titles URI: 7 (all Yankee Conference) vs SU: 4 (all Big East) Otto’s Edge: URI… hey I am Yanks fan Current football conference URI: Colonial Athletic Association vs SU: ACC Otto’s Edge: SU… ACC beats the CAA While we are on initials… Current college head coach alumnus URI: Pat Narduzzi vs SU: HCRE Otto’s Edge: SU… hopefully since we need to start beating Pitt again. We have played Pitt a lot but they are not our... Let the hate flow through you (rivalry) URI: Brown vs SU: Colgate Otto’s Edge: URI… Ivy beats the Patriot Former rivalry with UConn in URI: Football vs SU: Basketball Otto’s Edge: Push… we are all winners when UConn loses. I think both schools can agree that Providence College sucks as well. Those bastards basically stole money from the Big East. Speaking of stealing... This is my fight song URI: Rhode Island Born vs SU: Down the Field Otto’s Edge: SU… they took their song right from UNC Mascot URI: Rhody the Ram vs SU: Otto the Orange Otto’s Edge: SU… more thievery Talking of thieves… Sopranos connection URI: Johnnycakes vs SU: Jason Cipolla’s girlfriend Otto’s Edge: SU… are they still together? Sticking with food… Let’s put the women and children to bed and go lookin for dinner (food) URI: state obsessed with Dunkin Donuts vs SU: think Hoffman’s dogs are good Otto’s Edge: URI… sorry but they are the #1 reason SU has a bad tailgating scene Tailgating is done outside the... No one, and I mean no one, comes into our house and pushes us around (stadium) URI: Meade Stadium vs SU: Dome Otto’s Edge: SU… however if we played at their stadium we could actually get a capacity crowd The crowds used to watch... Former Running Back URI: Pat Abbruzzi (former CFL MVP) vs SU: Jim Brown (greatest NFL RB of All Time) Otto’s Edge: SU… no debate Sports debates often happen on... Former The Sports Hub radio host URI: Andy Gresh vs SU: DA Otto’s Edge: URI… never heard him but he has to be better by default (this message is Francessa approved). Also on the radio we have music and DJs… Person who makes people get onto their feet URI: Tony Horton P90X vs SU: DJ Rony Seikaly Otto’s Edge: SU… although he is no Pauly D While we are on the subject of feet… Footballer URI: Geoff Cameron vs SU: Alex Bono Otto’s Edge: SU… he certainly has more upside And finally the category of the week... Football 1st Family URI: Brothers Lou and Pat Abbruzzi vs SU: Father Gerhard and Son Scott Schwedes Otto’s Edge: SU… I wonder if Scott would be an Express Back in Lester’s system? There you have it folks. The Cuse will beat Rhode Island 22-6. And remember the numbers never lie. Also note that I love the ToT more than I love taffy ... and I'm a man who enjoys his taffy. Until next week, same Bat time same Bat channel. [/QUOTE]
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