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Message: [QUOTE="dan7800, post: 5344318, member: 4923"] The ivies will wake up and decide to rule CFB. Saban comes out of retirement to be a coordinator and they use their science labs to ressurect others to coach. In a shocking turn of events, the Ivy League schools, long known for their academic prowess and aggressively polite squash tournaments, have decided that they’ve had enough of being mocked for their football teams. Armed with endowments larger than some countries' GDPs, they pooled their billions and set out to dominate college football the only way they knew how: by outspending and out-thinking the competition. Harvard’s game plan was developed by Nobel Prize-winning economists, Yale genetically engineered a 6'8" quarterback with an IQ of 190, and Princeton devised a playbook so complex it required a PhD in theoretical physics to understand. Meanwhile, Brown’s contribution was a really inspiring spoken-word halftime show about the commercialization of sports. At first, the traditional powerhouses laughed. Alabama’s head coach famously quipped, "You can’t buy grit!" But then the Ivy League teams started winning—big. MIT (recently granted honorary Ivy status after buying Dartmouth) debuted a robot kicker that never missed, while Columbia’s players read Sun Tzu’s *The Art of War* between downs. By the time Stanford, desperate to keep up, installed an AI to call plays (only to realize too late that it had read too much Kafka), the battle was already over. The Ivy League had conquered college football, proving once and for all that while money can’t buy happiness, it can absolutely buy a championship—especially if you also have the intellectual property rights to an algorithm that predicts every opposing play before it happens. You heard it here first. [/QUOTE]

Verification: What is a Syracuse fan's favorite color?