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[QUOTE="AZOrange, post: 148266, member: 278"]
I was born at Riker's Island in 1977.  My mother and father had decided to open a bank-robbing business in their early 20s and spent the better part of their days there.
 
I was raised by an au pair named Elin from Sweden.  She taught me all the states, Presidents and mandarin Chinese by the age of 3.
 
At 6, I was diagnosed with abnormally large hands.  Because of this, I was able to become a world class mountaineer by the age of 8, becoming the youngest human to ever ascend Everest.  When I got to the top, I became the youngest climber to ever smoke a cigarette at the top of the world.  Camel non-filters.
 
At 10, I had finished high school and enrolled at Harvard University.  I finished my dual PH.d in molecular biology and organic chemistry by 13.  I was a fully tenured professor at the school by the age of 15.  I still teach as an adjunct.
 
When I was 16, I was noticed on the AAU circuit, by Mike Hopkins.  He and JB offered me a full ride in the 1995 class, but I turned them down to pursue other dreams.  This is the reason I am still a Cuse fan to this day...they never got in the way of my dreams.
 
After turning down Syracuse, I went to medical school at Hopkins, and over the course of 4 years came up with cures to various diseases and maladies.  Unfortunately, my roommate Ratso, set fire to our apartment and my work was lost.  I am still in the process of recreating in my free time.
 
At 23, I became a world class poker player in addition to becoming a world class auctioneer.  I spend most of my free time auctioneering.  I attribute most of this success to Elin who also taught me to yodel (in addition to mandarin Chinese).
 
At 30 I became a political pundit and advisor to Barack Obama, leading one of the greatest political upsets in 2008. 
 
At 33, I retired, spending my time writing memoirs and re-runs of Wheel of Fortune.  It has been a full and blessed life.  Go Orange!
 
Disclaimer:  Some of the facts in AZOrange's story have been changed to protect the innocent.
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