1. I don't have a link to it because it was sent around a group chat that I was in, but someone went back and got a freeze frame of the play that showed Ninkovich (I think) grabbing the guy's face mask. I'm guessing it was posted on Twitter somewhere.
2. Right, so there's really no way of knowing whether or not the inadvertent whistle cost the Patriots anything. The play may have resulted the same way had Darby made the tackle. But once the ref blew the play by blowing his whistle, it should have resulted in replaying the down because he blew the whistle while the ball was still in the air (and based on some weird technicality that I don't understand, but the ref in the booth said it on the air last night) the penalty would have been negated due to the fact that the play was blown dead prior to the flag or something weird like that. So basically, the refs made the mistake of blowing the whistle and then ignored/didn't know the rules to give the Patriots what they think the Patriots should have gotten out of the play anyways. But once the whistle was blown, it should have been a replay of the down rather than a 30 yard gain for the Patriots. So initially, the refs screwed the Patriots on the call because they ruined a chance at a touchdown (but it could have also simply resulted in a 30 yard gain after the penalty), but then they screwed the Bills by incorrectly handling the situation after the whistle was blown.
3. Others have already pointed it out, but it sounds like basically every NFL referee besides the ones that officiated last night's game disagree with you regarding the forward progress. I don't even think the refs last night ruled that his forward progress was stopped; I think they ruled that he gave himself up in bounds (like a QB slid would have been committed. ing), and therefore, the play was over before he got out of bounds. Either way they were wrong.