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[QUOTE="NateW, post: 3224493, member: 4210"]
A Buffalo Bills Christmas

" A night before game day"

Told by Tom Brady

‘Twas the night before game day, when all through Gillette

Not a camera was filming, at least they weren’t yet

The game balls were placed in the locker with care

Just how I like them, without too much air

The receivers were nestled all snug in their cots

While visions of Tre White haunted their thoughts

And Bob in his towel, and I in my Uggs

Had just settled in for a nice rub n tug

When down on the field there arose such a clatter

I opened my sensory deprivation therapy chamber to see what was the matter

When what to my cold, dead eyes should appear

But 53 monsters that filled me with fear

When I saw them I gasped and my body got chills

I knew in a moment it must be the Bills

Like stampeding hooves, the coach’s claps they came

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:

“Now, Beasley! Now, Brown! Now, Devin and Dawson!

On, Poyer! On, Hyde! On, Phillips and Lawson!

To the top of the East! We won’t stop til it’s done!

Let’s murder that weirdo who frenches his son”

All over the field the defensive backs flew

And they picked off each terrible pass that I threw

As I faked a handoff and was turning around

Up through the gut Oliver came with a bound

He was dressed in all white, from his helmet to cleats

And he yelled when he saw me, “You’re dead ing meat!”

He flung me with ease, right onto my back

It was not even halftime and he had his 3rd sack

Then back to the huddle he went with a jog

A bruise on my thigh, from his monster hog

And I heard him exclaim like a voice from on high

“The process befalls you! Get ready to die!”

Reddit post from pendantpickle
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