Fulmer Cup Standings

[Czar]

We once again are off to a good start. Georgia and New Mexico took the lead with some girlfriend beating. Here's the Hunt write up:

SYRACUSE. The suavest crime will always be advanced jewel thieving thanks to a childhood of Pink Panther movies, but the second suavest? Cologne theft, which is really less about stealing than uniting sexy with its natural odor. That's what we used to tell the clerks at Dillard's, and we'll be damned if they didn't buy it!* Quarterback Terrel Hunt clearly agrees with this theory, which is why he was walking out of a store with a bottle of Breakline cologne for men from the Hollister store at Carousel mall. That's one point for Syracuse for just wanting to smell too sexy for their own damn good. Sexy shouldn't be against the law, but whatever, Country-who-bans-opium-and-lawn-darts.​

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*They didn't. #sadPeterWarrickVibes #expungedrecords #DrakkarNoirDoesNotCount​

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And of course, the rules if you're not familiar:​

THE RULES FOR COUNTING POINTS. Changes have been made here.

• Murder: 10 points. We don't want to start quantifying evil, but if you violate society's original taboo, then you should get more than two points more than the guy getting a DUI. Thus the figure of ten points is decided on because ten sounds like a lot, and because if we are accused of trivializing murder we can point to it and go "hey, that's a big number, and seriously we didn't joke about it." As always, this is null and void if this involves the murder of a clown.
• Cannibalism. Also 10 points. You say, "Oh, when will you use THAT?" This is what people who have no idea how the universe works, since it is just looking for a reason to put a college football cannibalism scandal into this website's life. (Dibs on Wisconsin being the first. Sausage tells no tales, and you really don't want to know how this particular sausage is made.)
• Sex Crimes: 5 points. This is a new category to cover anything in the category, since the last thing we want to do is attempt to quantify the horrendous category of Sex Crimes. Five points and done.
• Bestiality: 4 points. Again: just in case. No, having sex with a rival's ladies does not count as a sex crime either, you clever person.
• Grand Larceny: 4 points. This has to be theft on a jewel thief-level so outrageous it demands to be called "a caper." Applies to money laundering, RICO violations,etc.
• Hitting Girls: 3 points.
• Car theft/Assault/Driving through houses drunk/Drug possession of the Tyrone Biggums variety: 3 Points.
• Fightin' in 'da Club/Weed Possession/Standard DUI: 2 points. Any scenario involving group fighting of a thugged-out, 'we run this place' variety, and marijuana possession of the nickel bag level. Possession of 100 pounds of marijuana is a totally different thing, and takes you right back up to the 4 point 'nefarious' level.
• Drankin'/Suspended License/Assorted petty misdemeanors: 1 point. Covers basic citations and stupid things cops like to cite drunk people for doing.

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http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/2012/1/11/2699687/the-fulmer-cup-arrives-rules-and-review​