Maybe it’s better to not have a special teams coach…

[Jake]

Monkey Belonging to Texas Special Teams Coach & Stripper Girlfriend "Pole Assassin" Allegedly Seriously Injured a Child

You cant make this up folks, one of the strangest stories of CFB this year. Hopefully the child is ok, the rest of the stories is absolutely bananas though. Pole assassin was apparently on springer. All ass, no breaks, I guess

www.elevenwarriors.com

 

[syrBossHogg]

What a strange story

 

[UpstateSM]

College football coaches are amazing human beings. Not sure if there's anything else like them in society.

 

[Dmcnabbrules]

Not where I expected this thread to go.

 

[orange79]

This whole "emotional support animal" thing has gone too far.

 

[OrangeXtreme]

Haven't you always wanted a monkey?

 

[Jake]

Haven't you always wanted a monkey?

If I had a million dollars...

 

[IthacaBarrel]

This whole "emotional support animal" thing has gone too far.

It's completely ridiculous. I sat next to a golden retriever on a flight a couple years ago and just had to shake my head.

 

[orange79]

It's completely ridiculous. I sat next to a golden retriever on a flight a couple years ago and just had to shake my head.

I mean, I get dogs. They're domesticated and have been around for, like, forever. I get it. They sniff out bombs, they lead the blind, etc. God bless 'em.

It's the other schist i can't stand.

I was on a flight before the pandemic that was delayed for an hour because someone tried to bring aboard their "emotional support ferret".

 

[EastCoast2]

A woman brought her 115 lb. emotional support miniature horse on a plan in February 2020. This signals the peak of our civilization.

 

[Apdaly]

Should this thread merge with the tailgate visitor thread? Not sure paradise found has anyone cocky enough to pick the name pole assassin. Either way quite the rabbit hole

 

[721Comstock]

Haven't you always wanted a monkey?

 

[LeMoyneCuse]

I know the first playoff rankings are out tonight, but all I care about is this story. I could talk about it with anyone for an hour without talking a breath.

 

[rocklloyd]

why arent we discussing the stage name of Pole Assassin more?

 

[GeauxSU]

The Eyes of Texas are Upon You!

 

[FRANKIEFAN]

I’d take him here if he could get Andre back to his freshman year form.

Imagine watching a game in Weitsmans suite with Pole Assassin and her monkey.

 

[Orangello]

Why not Pole Assassin as the ST coach ? I'll bet the monkey could be trained to hold. No more laces in. Problem solved and no one would ever skip practice again.

 

[IthacaBarrel]

weird dude

 

[OrangeTarheel]

Market opportunity for our fanbase - emotional support oranges. And they’ll be huuuuuuuuuuuuggggggggggeeeeeeee.

 

[OrangeXtreme]