OT: CBS Late Night News

[edowd26]

Poop is easy doesn't smell for the first six months or so.

Thank god. Scents kill me.

 

[CuseFaninVT]

Thank god. Scents kill me.

Oh, you're going to love the first time your toddler pukes all over the place in the car on warm afternoon.

 

[edowd26]

Oh, you're going to love the first time your toddler pukes all over the place in the car on warm afternoon.

Haha oh man. My wife is DEATHLY afraid of vomit. So that clean up will be all me. Thanks for the joys of parenthood pep talk. Regardless, I am super stoked, can't wait for that little bugger.

 

[CuseFaninVT]

Haha oh man. My wife is DEATHLY afraid of vomit. So that clean up will be all me. Thanks for the joys of parenthood pep talk. Regardless, I am super stoked, can't wait for that little bugger.

The first time my toddler puked for real (not that harmless baby spit up) it was like a scene out of a movie. He was standing in the family room - all of 18 months or so - and this tube of vomit comes out of his mouth and sprays about 3 feet in front of him. He had no idea what was happening. I just ran to get the wife. It was AWFUL!

 

[Antiprodigy]

Mmmm. warm milk puke. And it smells sooooo good too.

 

[CuseFaninVT]

The first time my toddler puked for real (not that harmless baby spit up) it was like a scene out of a movie. He was standing in the family room - all of 18 months or so - and this tube of vomit comes out of his mouth and sprays about 3 feet in front of him. He had no idea what was happening. I just ran to get the wife. It was AWFUL!

Serious parenting advice for you. If you are ever driving and the kid says his mouth feels itchy, pull over immediately. Don't wait for the other cars to clear, just get the hell over. I mean right away. That's how he used to warn us he was going to blow chow and he gave us very little warning.

 

[edowd26]

The first time my toddler puked for real (not that harmless baby spit up) it was like a scene out of a movie. He was standing in the family room - all of 18 months or so - and this tube of vomit comes out of his mouth and sprays about 3 feet in front of him. He had no idea what was happening. I just ran to get the wife. It was AWFUL!

Oh Mann thats pretty funny. I hope it wasn't on carpet.

 

[CuseFaninVT]

Oh Mann thats pretty funny. I hope it wasn't on carpet.

Absolutely on carpet. By the way, if you haven't already, buy yourself a decent carpet cleaner.

 

[edowd26]

Serious parenting advice for you. If you are ever driving and the kid says his mouth feels itchy, pull over immediately. Don't wait for the other cars to clear, just get the hell over. I mean right away. That's how he used to warn us he was going to blow chow and he gave us very little warning.

Sounds like I should tape a bag over his mouth (leaving his nose free to breathe) inany and all car rides?

 

[edowd26]

Haha we do have one. Keep the suggestions coming.

 

[CuseFaninVT]

Sounds like I should tape a bag over his mouth (leaving his nose free to breathe) inany and all car rides?

Sounds like a plan. Luckily they tend to grow out of the car sickness thing. Just watch what you let them eat before setting out on a long trip on windy vermont roads.

 

[edowd26]

Sounds like a plan. Luckily they tend to grow out of the car sickness thing. Just watch what you let them eat before setting out on a long trip on windy vermont roads.

These things eat? Sounds expensive.

 

[CuseFaninVT]

Haha we do have one. Keep the suggestions coming.

Here are a few more. Don't feel the need to teach the little one how to talk or how to walk (my best man shared that one with me). Once they get mobile, it's all over. The intensity level goes up a million percent.

Don't rush to get them into the big kid bed. Until they jump out of the crib like 20 times, they are fine in there. The wife saw a nice set on sale so of course we had to get it and of course we had to move him at 18 months to the big boy bed. Then he proceeded to come down the stairs about 18 times a night after that. Thought about locking him in his room. Seriously, my old boss had to do that.

 

[CuseFaninVT]

These things eat? Sounds expensive.

You have no idea. We only have one so he tends to get the best (or nearly) of everything. The wife didn't like the ingredients in baby food so she made her own. Which meant we had to buy this fancy a$$ blender to make that happen. And filled our freezer with some weird looking bags of plastic stuff.

Upside of doing this, I have to admit, is my kid eats EVERYTHING. Except avocado. Seriously, eats sushi, loves veggies, and just eats like a machine. We never really gave him the option to just eat chicken fingers or buttered noodles like my brother and his wife. And that means he can go with us to any restaurant we want.

 

[jekelish]

Haha oh man. My wife is DEATHLY afraid of vomit. So that clean up will be all me. Thanks for the joys of parenthood pep talk. Regardless, I am super stoked, can't wait for that little bugger.

My son has gotten to the stage where either his back teeth coming in hurt him or he is just exploring his mouth, but he jams his hand into his mouth, making himself gag and once in awhile vomit.

Enjoy that stage.

 

[edowd26]

Here are a few more. Don't feel the need to teach the little one how to talk or how to walk (my best man shared that one with me). Once they get mobile, it's all over. The intensity level goes up a million percent.

Don't rush to get them into the big kid bed. Until they jump out of the crib like 20 times, they are fine in there. The wife saw a nice set on sale so of course we had to get it and course we had to move him at 18 months to the big boy bed. Then he proceeded to comeThis is down the stairs about 18 times a night after that. Thought about locking him in his room. Seriously, my old boss had to do that.

Haha. This funny and terrifying all in one.

 

[edowd26]

My son has gotten to the stage where either his back teeth coming in hurt him or he is just exploring his mouth, but he jams his hand into his mouth, making himself gag and once in awhile vomit.

Enjoy that stage.

Oh Mann I'm lolling at work. Bout to be unemployed.

 

[edowd26]

You have no idea. We only have one so he tends to get the best (or nearly) of everything. The wife didn't like the ingredients in baby food so she made her own. Which meant we had to buy this fancy a$$ blender to make that happen. And filled our freezer with some weird looking bags of plastic stuff.

Upside of doing this, I have to admit, is my kid eats EVERYTHING. Except avocado. Seriously, eats sushi, loves veggies, and just eats like a machine. We never really gave him the option to just eat chicken fingers or buttered noodles like my brother and his wife. And that means he can go with us to any restaurant we want.

Thats a good idea. My wife is already buying this plum stuff, which isn't made out of plums at all. Its everything. But I prefer him to have a well balanced palate.

 

[JD]

Oh man just wait until you are sleeping in bed and the boy/girl tells you their tummy hurts then procceds to blow like Mt. Vesuvius. Even better is when your sleeping and roll into a wet spot. Good times ahead.

 

[orange79]

We used to marvel at the "Amazing Formula Fountain" that both of the twins would treat us to at various times when they were still young enough not to eat solids. Too much, too fast, I guess. But we could tell by the look in their eyes it was coming. Sometimes I thought, "This can NOT be coming from a human."

 

[Hoov50]

Wow, I woke up from an hour and half nap (longest time I have slept in a row since she was born) to a laundry list of things to look forward to. It has been a little tougher than average for me since my wife had a c section and I have been literally doing everything! Don't get me wrong I am already wrapped around her finger, but damn the lack of sleep is a killer for me for some reason!

 

[jekelish]

My new favorite, just because it cracks me up, is when we take the diaper off of our baby and he crawls around, stops, focuses really hard, and TRIES to pee on the floor. Then he crawls to another spot, stops, and does it all over again. This continues for several minutes as long as we allow it. The look of concentration when he tries to pee is what makes any drizzle worth cleaning up.

 

[CuseFaninVT]

My new favorite, just because it cracks me up, is when we take the diaper off of our baby and he crawls around, stops, focuses really hard, and TRIES to pee on the floor. Then he crawls to another spot, stops, and does it all over again. This continues for several minutes as long as we allow it. The look of concentration when he tries to pee is what makes any drizzle worth cleaning up.

Marking his territory.

And they say we didn't evolve from the animals. I offer this as further proof we did.

We've been looking for houses for the last two years. I think my kid dropped a deuce in almost every single one we saw. That's how he marks his territory.