OT - NC State Football Players Join Student Eating Lunch Alone

[shandeezy7]

This picture is making the rounds right now. Well done young men:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/...ayers-lunch_n_4302762.html?utm_hp_ref=college

 

[retro44]

good kids

 

[Crusty]

Excellent!

 

[xc84]

While it is great to see the football players interacting with another student, it could just be these guys are simply friends with the student. I am not sure I am all that comfortable thinking "Wow, these guys are great because they are sitting with a handicapped student." ... as if sitting with a handicapped student should be so rare you are commended for it. If there is a story behind it like the entire student body shunning this kid before an act of kindness, then it makes sense to highlight it. Otherwise, I am not really sure what is going on that makes it so special. I wonder what the student thinks about this media attention.

 

[4evaOrange]

I'm pretty sure I've seen a picture of him giving a ride. It's down in the funny picture thread in a multiple picture post.

 

[Millhouse]

I have very mixed feelings about this. Sitting alone to eat is not that big a deal. Maybe the kid was in a hurry and didn't want to make a production out of it and didn't want to wait for his friends. I am glad i never had a picture go viral like that "No really, I have friends, i was just grabbing something quick, I'm just fine, please put your hankies away"

i just wonder if that kid is embarrassed today - nothing against the NC State players, it's more about the viral reaction

 

[Millhouse]

While it is great to see the football players interacting with another student, it could just be these guys are simply friends with the student. I am not sure I am all that comfortable thinking "Wow, these guys are great because they are sitting with a handicapped student." ... as if sitting with a handicapped student should be so rare you are commended for it. If there is a story behind it like the entire student body shunning this kid before an act of kindness, then it makes sense to highlight it. Otherwise, I am not really sure what is going on that makes it so special. I wonder what the student thinks about this media attention.

i missed your post before responding, agree

 

[All4SU]

I give the kid a lot of credit for willingly sitting with those football players.

 

[JackBauer44]

Here is my problem, and many of my NC State colleagues agree. There are people who do this everyday. I think publicizing football players for doing something "nice" or "respectable" is just stupid. You should act nice or respectable everyday.

 

[cuseinchina]

This is thought provoking.

First, the headline - football players eat with guy sitting alone. This is PC to the point of being insulting. clearly the sitting alone part had nothing to do with it. They are saying aren't these guys nice to humble themselves to sit with this handicapped guy. Then the presumption is we can't say he's handicapped because we don't want to be 'prejudiced' but man isn't it great these guys have humbled their mighty selves to sit with the cripple.

Judging on some of the responses from fellow students, it doesn't seem like this guy in the chair has any problems fitting in on campus. He's an active student who people are aware of, he gives people rides on his chair - owns what he deals with and tries to make people comfortable with it. Seems like maybe these guys know him and just had a seat. They look to be treating eachother as equals worthy of respect as human beings. Maybe they do it to be nice to the guy or whatever...but the hype around this I think is maybe pretty insulting.

The poor kid in the wheelchair or kid who has whatever other difficulty who gets the fist bump from the 1st basemen at the baseball game because they wheel him down to just above the dugout --- that kid grows up into an adult human being who most likely has spent lots of time and energy adapting to their weakness and learning how to exist in the world despite it. He probably doesn't want to get that fist bump from the 1st basemen when he's a 32 year old accountant still sitting in his chair.

Everyone has something wrong with them or some demon to learn how to manage and/or overcome. This guy's is just more overt, it's out there for everyone to see. Some guys have trouble reading, I have a good friend who couldn't read until he was 10. He now makes more money than anyone else I know. but should I be praised for being his friend when he couldn't read? He was just playing the hand dealt to him to the best of his abilities. But because this guy's problem is visible, everything that comes to him is an act of pity to be admired by others and for him to feel thankful for? That seems like a pretty shitty take to me.

 

[shandeezy7]

Judging on some of the responses from fellow students, it doesn't seem like this guy in the chair has any problems fitting in on campus. He's an active student who people are aware of, he gives people rides on his chair - owns what he deals with and tries to make people comfortable with it. Seems like maybe these guys know him and just had a seat. They look to be treating each other as equals worthy of respect as human beings. Maybe they do it to be nice to the guy or whatever...but the hype around this I think is maybe pretty insulting.

Like it or not, and no matter how wrong it is, there is a stigma associated with handicapped people in this country. If it wasn't just some random kid and they are actually friends, then wouldn't this be a perfect example of how we should all be treating each other as equals? The fact that two football players at a major BCS university are able to view someone who might be different from them as an equal should be used as a symbol to everyone else out there that this is the way that things should be. There's nothing "insulting" about being an example for that.

 

[cuseinchina]

Like it or not, and no matter how wrong it is, there is a stigma associated with handicapped people in this country. If it wasn't just some random kid and they are actually friends, then wouldn't this be a perfect example of how we should all be treating each other as equals? The fact that two football players at a major BCS university are able to view someone who might be different from them as an equal should be used as a symbol to everyone else out there that this is the way that things should be. There's nothing "insulting" about being an example for that.

That's like saying a white guy should get media attention for walking through the ghetto.

I get what you are saying and I get why some view it as a nice feel good story. But when you are talking about an adult and not a little kid - I think it's saying some bad things about society that this gets attention, not that they did it. My point is I'm fairly sure the football players didn't think it was a big deal or they were doing some big service. And to act like its otherwise is actually pretty sad.

 

[shandeezy7]

That's like saying a white guy should get media attention for walking through the ghetto.

I get what you are saying and I get why some view it as a nice feel good story. But when you are talking about an adult and not a little kid - I think it's saying some bad things about society that this gets attention, not that they did it. My point is I'm fairly sure the football players didn't think it was a big deal or they were doing some big service. And to act like its otherwise is actually pretty sad.

Yeah they probably didn't think it was a big deal. But it was obviously a big deal to a lot of people, which is proof in my mind that this is not an ordinary thing (although certainly it should be). You can enjoy whatever fuzzy view of society you might have, but the reality of the situation, as I said before, is that there is a stigma surrounding handicapped people. If you don't think there is, then I don't really know what to tell you.

 

[cuseinchina]

Yeah they probably didn't think it was a big deal. But it was obviously a big deal to a lot of people, which is proof in my mind that this is not an ordinary thing (although certainly it should be). You can enjoy whatever fuzzy view of society you might have, but the reality of the situation, as I said before, is that there is a stigma surrounding handicapped people. If you don't think there is, then I don't really know what to tell you.

My view is the opposite of fuzzy. I'm saying there is plenty of stigma surrounding plenty of groups - and to point out when a member of a group that is less stigmatized behaves with basic human kindness towards a member of a group that is more stigmatized - makes the problem worse not better.

When I was at cuse there was a fraternity that had a brother who was a midget. Should there be a big article in the DO about it? Should that article then be passed on to national media outlets? Same exact scenario.

 

[shandeezy7]

My view is the opposite of fuzzy. I'm saying there is plenty of stigma surrounding plenty of groups - and to point out when a member of a group that is less stigmatized behaves with basic human kindness towards a member of a group that is more stigmatized - makes the problem worse not better.

When I was at cuse there was a fraternity that had a brother who was a midget. Should there be a big article in the DO about it? Should that article then be passed on to national media outlets? Same exact scenario.

I'm not exactly sure how highlighting kindness toward a particular group could make the problem worse. Perhaps you could provide some studies of that?

 

[cuseinchina]

I'm not exactly sure how highlighting kindness toward a particular group could make the problem worse. Perhaps you could provide some studies of that?

Ok so think about the example I gave with the frat brother - do you think those guys should get national media attention for accepting the poor stigmatized little man into their exclusive group?

My first reaction was to think 'oh isn't this a nice thing those guys are doing'. And then on further thought I realized that was a pretty up conclusion to come to.

 

[cuseinchina]

What do people think of the beer commercial with the guys playing wheel chair basketball with their buddy and then all jumping out of their chairs and going to the bar together? Somehow that is less problematic to me than this - no sure why.

 

[shandeezy7]

Ok so think about the example I gave with the frat brother - do you think those guys should get national media attention for accepting the poor stigmatized little man into their exclusive group?

My first reaction was to think 'oh isn't this a nice thing those guys are doing'. And then on further thought I realized that was a pretty up conclusion to come to.

I think that comparison is sort of an apples to oranges comparison. Those frat brothers don't carry as much gravitas as high level college athletes. But honestly, I think that is a story that should be highlighted, especially with the exclusionary practices of a lot of fraternities.

 

[cuseinchina]

I think that comparison is sort of an apples to oranges comparison. Those frat brothers don't carry as much gravitas as high level college athletes. But honestly, I think that is a story that should be highlighted, especially with the exclusionary practices of a lot of fraternities.

I can see that logic. Agree to disagree. I think it's insulting to do so. But there is also a public education argument you are making that makes sense.

 

[shandeezy7]

I can see that logic. Agree to disagree. I think it's insulting to do so. But there is also a public education argument you are making that makes sense.

Agree to disagree as well. I think the original headline and sentiment that these two were being nice guys and just sitting with some random kid was misleading, but I think that highlighting the fact that they are treating another human being with obvious differences from them as an equal is beneficial to the greater good.

 

[donniesyracuse]

I don't understand the social shame associated with doing things alone. I often enjoy eating alone. I also go to movies and attend concerts alone. We all need social interaction, but alone time is important as well.

 

[Millhouse]

When I was at cuse there was a fraternity that had a brother who was a midget. Should there be a big article in the DO about it?

UH YEAH

 

[xc84]

I'm not exactly sure how highlighting kindness toward a particular group could make the problem worse. Perhaps you could provide some studies of that?

If you saw a picture of 3 white guys sitting with a black guy, would you say that the white guys are being kind simply for sitting with a black guy?

 

[shandeezy7]

If you saw a picture of 3 white guys sitting with a black guy, would you say that the white guys are being kind simply for sitting with a black guy?

Jeez, talk about comparing apples to oranges. I'm not even sure if there's a phrase that covers what you just laid out. Not sure of your motivation here.

 

[xc84]

Jeez, talk about comparing apples to oranges. I'm not even sure if there's a phrase that covers what you just laid out. Not sure of your motivation here.

I'm not exactly sure how highlighting kindness toward a particular group could make the problem worse.