OT: Request for advice...

[Eric15]

I'm becoming a Dad for the first time on Tuesday of next week (my wife is scheduled for a C-Section because our little guy is breached). I get the sense that this board is full of hundreds of truly great parents, so I'd love to hear some last minute words of wisdom.

I had no idea that installing an infant car seat in the back of a car was such a stressful endeavor - they should incorporate that into Navy SEAL training.

Thanks,
Eric

 

[iommi]

One note on the car seat: I struggled with installation too...mostly because I thought it was supposed to be tight. On the contrary, they are supposed to be somewhat loose so that if there is a crash, the car seat will not be so stiff. It does a better job minimizing the result of impact if it's a little loose. (Hope that makes sense)

On the parenting side, I don't have too many pearls of wisdom, except to say, try to make it fun for you and your baby...and your wife. Too many people take parenting way too seriously. It's all trial by error really; so don't be too hard on yourself. You'll figure it all out.

All the best.

 

[OttoinGrotto]

People tell women to sleep when the baby sleeps. Women inevitably fight this because they want to use that time to do stuff/clean/whatever.

Help her understand sleeping when the baby sleeps. When the baby naps say "OK, nap time for you. What do you want me to take care of while you rest?"

 

[cuseincincy]

Since you're scheduled some of the anxiety is eliminated from the beginning. I think just realizing that for at least the first 2 weeks you will be focusing 100% on do anything you possibly can to allow mom to rest/sleep whenever possible will put you in the right frame of mind to start your journey (or roller coaster ride as my wife and I call it!). There will be several things you can't do for your wife, not your fault. Rest assured that you don't know everything you need to know and never will. And that's Ok. Its part of the fun. Believe it or not your not the first first time parents. I always felt like I was in a special club made up of parents with a baby. There is a camaraderie there of "yep, I know what your going through" that doesn't really exist when they get older. Enjoy, your new best friend is coming next week!

 

[rrlbees]

Best advice I can give you is to cherish EVERY single minute and day as they grow older. I remember like it was yesterday the day my kids were born. Now, they're looking at colleges. Time flies like you wouldn't know. Be there for them no matter their interests. If they have a game or a dance recital at the same time as an SU game, be with them. SU will always be there, your kids are young only once. Congrats and good luck.

 

[Frozen]

Remember that being a dad is not the same as "mommy's assistant." You are going to enjoy it. Until the kid wakes up at 2:30am and wants to play, which is the stage I am now in.

 

[sherrillcuse]

Sleep now because once the little one comes home you will never sleep again!!!!!

 

[KaiserUEO]

pack booze in your hospital bag if you plan on spending the night. those chairs can be quite uncomfortable, but nothing that a magnum of wine and 750ml of Jack cant put in the back of your mind.

 

[Timonen]

-the emotional craziness that comes from not sleeping, stress, hormones, etc. is much trickier to manage than the day to day tasks. you need to let your wife be ceo and you be coo. assess her mood and message/manage things accordingly. if she's not into your solution of how to make the issue of the day better, back off. logic doesn't always win. time does.
-if she's open to it, get/accept help where you can
-master your dvr, because you will not ever have full focus on an su game again while your child is awake.

 

[NovaOrange]

Father of six here and I can honestly tell you I count each of my children as the best six things I have ever done in life. With that said there will be nights when nothing you can do will make the baby stop crying when you get frustrated (which is normal) put the baby down for a minute or so and collect yourself. This helped me out as simple as it sounds. Good luck to you I am sure you will be a great parent

 

[Frozen]

-master your dvr, because you will not ever have full focus on an su game again while your child is awake.

 

[BillJay]

I liked Bees' advice about going to your kid's dance recital instead of an SU game, etc. That said, the 1st year is the best opportunity you're going to have in a while for taking your baby to an SU game. They're too young to be walking around (& getting away from you), it's not a big deal if they're loud, etc. Our son was born on a Tuesday in late August. Friday afternoon I had him with me while I was setting up our tailgating site & on Saturday he was tailgating with us. He didn't go to that game but he did go to the next one two weeks later. He's almost 10 now & is old enough to go with me to road games (yes, he & I saw SU play at GTech last fall...).
Note that this advice only applies if you're willing to be flexible in your seating habits - do not sit courtside with a 3 year old, etc. And be prepared to spend more $ on candy, hot dogs and drinks than you will ever have imagined possible.

 

[Tobias Funke]

There will be a point regardless of how patient your are that you will be on the verge of losing your . Make sure you and your wife recognize those moments and give each other a breather. They are greatly outweighed by the times that you will sit there in amazement. Don't be afraid to leave the house. so many people coop themselves up and go stir crazy. We were blessed with adoption for our first and it was out of state, so we were forced to go out for meals and go sight seeing to pass the time. We did the same for our second just to keep active and to make sure we weren't all consumed with staring at the baby...your life isn't ending, it is just beginning so enjoy it. Oh and netflix is amazing at 3am

 

[SUbear]

I'm becoming a Dad for the first time on Tuesday of next week (my wife is scheduled for a C-Section because our little guy is breached). I get the sense that this board is full of hundreds of truly great parents, so I'd love to hear some last minute words of wisdom.

I had no idea that installing an infant car seat in the back of a car was such a stressful endeavor - they should incorporate that into Navy SEAL training.

Thanks,
Eric

Take full advantage of grandparents help if possible, they will want to help in most cases and they have more experience than you. Most grands will in fact not be happy if you do not let them help where they can, especially the grandmothers.

 

[tptcuse]

Take full advantage of grandparents help if possible, they will want to help in most cases and they have more experience than you. Most grands will in fact not be happy if you do not let them help where they can, especially the grandmothers.

If the grandparents are local, accept whatever help they offer without guilt. If not, try to visit them a lot.

Kids feel your stress, so do what you can to keep yourself happy and your little one will follow your lead.

Best wishes!

 

[orange79]

Bees said everything I was going to say. Each age is an age you will never get back. Even with another child. Bite back the urge to scream - they are kids, not little adults (I admit it took me a while to come to this obvious conclusion). No matter how tired or angry or frustrated or confused you are, there is nothing, NOTHING like walking into that room and seeing that smiling face looking up at you.

And don't forget to dress them in orange. All the time. Every day.

Congrats!

 

[orangefog]

Here is some advice...prepare a speech. Prepare it and rehearse it and have it down so that when your child, at around 2 or 3, throws a fit at the supermarket or the mall or a restaurant, and people start to look at you...you are ready. Some will look at you with understanding, as we have all been through it before. Others, those with no children or whose children are far too old for them to remember that they went through the exact same thing many years prior, will look upon you in judgement. I ask that you prepare a speech so that you might berate them in the manner in wish I could have. Do it for the rest of us. Make it epic. And practice it, practice it while your dog attacks your leg, or you are trying to lift a 35lb sack of potatoes, because your child will be dead weight while you are trying deliver this speech. Practice it with your headphones on and the volume turned up. Deliver it like Charleton Heston, strong and dramatic. And, when the time comes, and you haven't prepared the speech (and you wish you had), don't dwell upon those unsupportive . A tantrum in a public place does not make you a bad parent, despite the judgemental eyes. Handle the situation with care, because you will be a great father.

 

[LAOrange]

I have five daughters and my wife is a Labor and Delivery nurse. So here goes: Let the nurse do her job. This is one time you can't control the action. When she comes home get your wife settled and let them sleep. Don't allow any relatives over for a while. Especially with a c-section.
Don't sleep with the baby. While you're home, do everything around the house. If she shows signs of post-partum depression gently keep checking on her. Write a letter to your child describing how you feel the day they're born. Pack it away and read it to her when she gets married.
Now the bad stuff. I had three with colic. I spent 3 months sleeping next to the crib with one. It seems like everything revolves around them and their future but don't forget - happy parents make happy kids. Don't stop enjoying yourselves.
The payoff - The first time she tells you she loves you. Melt my heart.

 

[SUfanNC]

First congratulations.

Bees made an good post about the life aspect for sure. I have one and he is 20 months and it has flown by

Whoever said let your wife rest as much as possible hit it on the head too. You both will be tired and looking back I have no idea how my wife functioned

 

[Scooch]

It's pretty easy, kids practically raise themselves these days, so I wouldn't sweat it.

 

[Oakland]

Babys cry easily. Every time they cry is not an emergency. Give the baby a few moments stop crying before you rush in and fuss over it.

I'm becoming a Dad for the first time on Tuesday of next week (my wife is scheduled for a C-Section because our little guy is breached). I get the sense that this board is full of hundreds of truly great parents, so I'd love to hear some last minute words of wisdom.

I had no idea that installing an infant car seat in the back of a car was such a stressful endeavor - they should incorporate that into Navy SEAL training.

Thanks,
Eric

 

[Toga]

Two words. Projectile vomiting.

 

[orange79]

Two words. Projectile vomiting.

The Amazing Formula Fountain!

 

[tee1222]

Like bees said. Cherish it. From year 1 to 3 or 4, everyday is a new experience, a new progression. Enjoy it with baby.
God bless, brother. I hope all goes well.

About the car seat, a cop who helped install the first one told me just the opposite, iommi. I literally get on top of it for leverage and push all my weight down on it while I tighten. Super tight.

 

[Crusty]

What bees said.