Long Rusty Staub story from my childhood:
My father, who bears a pretty close resemblance to Rusty Staub, was one of the many military air traffic controllers who Reagan sent to the New York airports during the Air Controller strike in the '80's. They really took care of the guys and set them up with several perks, one of which was tickets to Mets and Yankees games. He went to a Mets game and wound up getting the opportunity to meet Rusty Staub and got a signed ball from him. Apparently, all of the guys he was with kept making fun of him the rest of his time there because they looked so much alike that they had to be related.
Fast forward to him being sent back home, and he presents me with this ball, telling me that it was from my "Uncle Rusty." He then spins this elaborate tail off the cuff about how Rusty Staub was his older half brother but it was taboo to have a kid out of wedlock at the time so my grandmother shipped him to a cousins house where he grew up outside of the immediate family and we don't talk about him, etc.
Being in first grade at the time, I bought it hook line and sinker and took my Rusty Staub ball to school for show and tell. I told the whole story to my class about how I was related to a big time major league ball player. Nothing else was said until my next parent/teacher conference when my teacher starts saying things to my parents like "it must be pretty neat to have a celebrity in the family" and "do you get free tickets to any game?" My parents ask him what he's talking about and he tells them about my show and tell presentation. Catching on at this point, my dad looks him dead in the idea and says "I have no idea where he would get that idea." My next report card said that I have "an overactive imagination and issues determining reality from fantasy."
Years later, when I finally got the full story of the parent/teacher conference, I asked my dad why he would just hang me out to dry like that. He simply said "I didn't want him to yell at me for being a terrible father!" So he doubled down. I also asked him why he made up the story in the first place and he said because "he thought it would be funny to mess with (me)." So, yes, Father of the Year.
Naturally, when this news came last week, I immediately texted my dad and asked him how he was taking the news and if my grandmother was doing okay.