I'm hearing from my people (a buddy that is an Italian translator that has been commissioned by SU to put together a translation of Sweet Georgia Brown for some reason) that Nike is developing a special edition uniform that resembles the American flag that the team will wear in Italy. Oddly enough, I'm also hearing that we're playing an exhibition tour against the same team over and over again in different cities. They're called something like "Generali Romani" or something like that. The owner of the PalaDesio where Syracuse is expected to play one of the games, vecchio Buon Viaggio, is also concerned that crowds aren't coming anymore due to a rumor that the arena is haunted by the "Palpetta Fantasma."
Also, word is that the team is really working on their ballhandling, passing, and general hijinks.
I decided to break down why this post was such comic genius, because it is a burden to have comedic stylings that lesser men can only dream of, and unlike a magician, I benevolently reveal my tricks.
Comedic statement #1
I'm hearing from my people (a buddy that is an Italian translator that has been commissioned by SU to put together a translation of Sweet Georgia Brown for some reason)
Why this is funny - I begin with a very dubious connection to insider info, dubious because I never have insider info on anything, and because nobody has cared about the lyrics to Sweet Georgia Brown in like, forever. Plus, why would Syracuse need an Italian translation of Sweet Georgia Brown, otherwise known as the Harlem Globetrotters theme song? Friends, this is what we call foreshadowing.
Comedic statement #2
that Nike is developing a special edition uniform that resembles the American flag that the team will wear in Italy.
Why this is funny - Nike makes us new crap all the time, so this seems reasonable, and slightly adds to the credibility of the post. The American flag themed uniform mention seems odd, as it is inconsistent with our traditional colors. A pattern is emerging, however. The Harlem Globetrotters have Sweet Georgia Brown as their theme song. The Harlem Globetrotters wear flag themed uniforms. What's going on here?
Comedic statement #3
Oddly enough, I'm also hearing that we're playing an exhibition tour against the same team over and over again in different cities.
Why this is funny - It's not. It's setting the stage for the next funny statement. Why would we go all the way to Italy just to play the same team over and over again?
Comedic statement #4
They're called something like "Generali Romani" or something like that.
Why this is funny - The Washington Generals are the traditional opponent for the Harlem Globetrotters. Generali Romani translates to the Roman Generals in English. This statement is funny because it further confuses the Harlem Globetrotters with the Syracuse Orangemen. Or, is it implying that while in Italy Syracuse will be the Harlem Globetrotters?!?!?!?
Comedic statement #5
The owner of the PalaDesio where Syracuse is expected to play one of the games, vecchio Buon Viaggio, is also concerned that crowds aren't coming anymore due to a rumor that the arena is haunted by the "Palpetta Fantasma."
Why this is funny - The PalaDesio is a real arena in Italy, so we're still attempting to keep a foothold in reality. Now that our Globetrotters-Syracuse comparison is firmly entrenched in the readers mind we're going to relate to some more obscure details about the Harlem Globetrotters,
specifically that they appeared on three episodes of Scooby Doo. Scooby Doo episodes always followed the same plot, and this statement begins establishing the character of old man Buon Viaggio as the villain our heroes will eventually face whilst in Italy. Fans of Scooby Doo will know that the villain behind the apparition in many Scooby Doo episodes is often a cranky old man. In this case, the ghost is called the Palpetta Fantasma because that's what Google translator told me "Meatball Ghost" would be in Italian. Meatball ghost is funny because it plays on the stereotype that Italians cook meatballs.
Comedic statement #6
Also, word is that the team is really working on their ballhandling, passing, and general hijinks.
Why this is funny - Because the word hijinks is always funny, and because the Harlem Globetrotters are known for their exceptional ballhandling and passing skills.
And that my friends is how you write the 2nd funniest thing all-time on the internet, ever, the funniest thing being photoshopped Syracuse basketball players head on an NWO wrestling photo.