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The latest news from DeBorah Little is truly heart-breaking ... but written with such love:
Good evening family and friends. It is 8:30pm Saturday evening and I have been zombied out on the couch for the past hour. I am not really a TV person but I don't have the energy to do much else so it has been keeping me company tonight.
I've been thinking of coming in here and sharing an update on Floyd for the past few days. I've finally come out of my daze and here I am.
The question, "how is Floyd doing?" has become (no offense) very irritating to me. I know, I know... it's about the only way to ask how Floyd is doing, but my first thought is always, 'he's under hospice care... how do you think he's doing?' But that's not fair... so I've been looking for the most appropriate answer. Here is the best I have for now... Floyd is not doing well. He has metastatic cancer that is invading his body and everyday his health deteriorates further. He has full use of comprehension but he doesn't say much at all, and when he does, he speaks in whispers. He sleeps most of the time... it's all about keeping him comfortable and sleep is the best way to achieve that.
Although I've always enjoyed my alone time, this is so very different and I'm finding myself getting lonely. I miss My Floyd so much! He's here physically, but I greatly miss my big, tall, strong, funny, loving husband. My Floyd! Just writing 'My Floyd' makes me cry! Floyd would always greet me by saying, in a sing songy way, "Ms De Bora!" And greet me doesn't just mean saying hello... it means at any moment of the day, he would sing out, 'Ms De Bora!" and I LOVED IT! My reply was often a sing songy, 'My Floyd'. I can't tell you how many times a day I hear him singing that in my mind and hearts memory.
Grief often catches me off guard and grabs and shakes me to my core! I have never met a more kind, caring, loving, generous, patient, fun and funny, adventurous, accommodating, forgiving, supportive, encouraging, motivating, (I could go on and on) man in my life. Floyd is perfect for me! He is so forgiving of my imperfections, so supportive of my dreams and goals, so generously showers me with love, admiration, and all kinds of gifts and is always up for a world wind trip to our next adventure somewhere in the world.
Our next trip was going to be to Portugal. He has been and I wanted to go so we were researching it before he got sick. During our 19 years together (I've know and desired him for 23 years) he has also accommodated me. No marriage is absolutely perfect 100% of the time, but I have always loved the way Floyd Loves Me. He made me laugh practically every day and if you watch many of my previous live posts with him, you may hear me say, 'You're a funny man!' He loves my family and they absolutely adore him... in fact, EVERYONE seems to ADORE HIM! It was one of the things I liked most about him. I didn't know Floyd the football celebrity when I met him. In fact, the mutual friend who introduced us said, "how can you be a football fan... from Syracuse... and not know who Floyd little is?!" but I didn't. When I first met him he blew me away! He has such a beautiful, huge personality! On our first meeting we discovered our birthdays are a day (and many years) apart. He's a 4th of July baby and my BDay is the 3rd of July. We were like, "Wow! Really?! That's Great!" We really liked that. We have so very much in common and we like so many of the same things.
I would love to go on and on... but I think it would be better to end here and come share more another time.
I want to thank everyone who has sent cards and or left messages for him. I try hard to spend as much time with him as I can, even though he's usually alseep. Frequently I'll just go lay in the bed next to him and hold his hand. Even when he's asleep, he knows I'm there and will sometimes shift his position and rest his head on mine or on my shoulder. I Love That! 8 out of 10 times he takes my hand and gives it a little squeeze so I'll know that he knows I'm there. During the brief moments when he is awake, I'll play his voice messages for him and read some of the many cards that have come in the mail. Even if he falls asleep, I believe his subconscious knows and understands and I believe Floyd really appreciates it.
Okay... that's it for now. Writing this has been good therapy for me. I love HGTV and have paused a few times to see the transformations of home remodels so it is now 10:02pm and I need to go check on my baby. Thank you for your love and support everyone. I'll be back... I hope before too long.
I hope you all are well and staying safe out there. This Corona virus is not joke yal... so please, please take it seriously and be safe.
Sending Love and Blessings from me and My Floyd.
Good evening family and friends. It is 8:30pm Saturday evening and I have been zombied out on the couch for the past hour. I am not really a TV person but I don't have the energy to do much else so it has been keeping me company tonight.
I've been thinking of coming in here and sharing an update on Floyd for the past few days. I've finally come out of my daze and here I am.
The question, "how is Floyd doing?" has become (no offense) very irritating to me. I know, I know... it's about the only way to ask how Floyd is doing, but my first thought is always, 'he's under hospice care... how do you think he's doing?' But that's not fair... so I've been looking for the most appropriate answer. Here is the best I have for now... Floyd is not doing well. He has metastatic cancer that is invading his body and everyday his health deteriorates further. He has full use of comprehension but he doesn't say much at all, and when he does, he speaks in whispers. He sleeps most of the time... it's all about keeping him comfortable and sleep is the best way to achieve that.
Although I've always enjoyed my alone time, this is so very different and I'm finding myself getting lonely. I miss My Floyd so much! He's here physically, but I greatly miss my big, tall, strong, funny, loving husband. My Floyd! Just writing 'My Floyd' makes me cry! Floyd would always greet me by saying, in a sing songy way, "Ms De Bora!" And greet me doesn't just mean saying hello... it means at any moment of the day, he would sing out, 'Ms De Bora!" and I LOVED IT! My reply was often a sing songy, 'My Floyd'. I can't tell you how many times a day I hear him singing that in my mind and hearts memory.
Grief often catches me off guard and grabs and shakes me to my core! I have never met a more kind, caring, loving, generous, patient, fun and funny, adventurous, accommodating, forgiving, supportive, encouraging, motivating, (I could go on and on) man in my life. Floyd is perfect for me! He is so forgiving of my imperfections, so supportive of my dreams and goals, so generously showers me with love, admiration, and all kinds of gifts and is always up for a world wind trip to our next adventure somewhere in the world.
Our next trip was going to be to Portugal. He has been and I wanted to go so we were researching it before he got sick. During our 19 years together (I've know and desired him for 23 years) he has also accommodated me. No marriage is absolutely perfect 100% of the time, but I have always loved the way Floyd Loves Me. He made me laugh practically every day and if you watch many of my previous live posts with him, you may hear me say, 'You're a funny man!' He loves my family and they absolutely adore him... in fact, EVERYONE seems to ADORE HIM! It was one of the things I liked most about him. I didn't know Floyd the football celebrity when I met him. In fact, the mutual friend who introduced us said, "how can you be a football fan... from Syracuse... and not know who Floyd little is?!" but I didn't. When I first met him he blew me away! He has such a beautiful, huge personality! On our first meeting we discovered our birthdays are a day (and many years) apart. He's a 4th of July baby and my BDay is the 3rd of July. We were like, "Wow! Really?! That's Great!" We really liked that. We have so very much in common and we like so many of the same things.
I would love to go on and on... but I think it would be better to end here and come share more another time.
I want to thank everyone who has sent cards and or left messages for him. I try hard to spend as much time with him as I can, even though he's usually alseep. Frequently I'll just go lay in the bed next to him and hold his hand. Even when he's asleep, he knows I'm there and will sometimes shift his position and rest his head on mine or on my shoulder. I Love That! 8 out of 10 times he takes my hand and gives it a little squeeze so I'll know that he knows I'm there. During the brief moments when he is awake, I'll play his voice messages for him and read some of the many cards that have come in the mail. Even if he falls asleep, I believe his subconscious knows and understands and I believe Floyd really appreciates it.
Okay... that's it for now. Writing this has been good therapy for me. I love HGTV and have paused a few times to see the transformations of home remodels so it is now 10:02pm and I need to go check on my baby. Thank you for your love and support everyone. I'll be back... I hope before too long.
I hope you all are well and staying safe out there. This Corona virus is not joke yal... so please, please take it seriously and be safe.
Sending Love and Blessings from me and My Floyd.
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