bballbeadle
Woman of a certain age
- Joined
- Aug 27, 2011
- Messages
- 17,847
- Like
- 46,268
Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here on this most sacred week of the year for communion and redemption. We gather with humble and thankful hearts, knowing we do not deserve. We are weak and palsied and inaccurate. Nay, we are not blessed; we are the most cursed and vile. Verily, verily, our aim is not true and our baskets are empty of bounty. We sin, and we sin, and we sin. And the snakes in the dust curse our name, and snicker with great snick.
We stand together before the Judge, each in our hearts knowing only one simple truth: WE. ARE. NOT. WORTHY.
Hear ye, all seraphim and cherubim, hear ye, all angels and archangels and spirits upon the earth and water, we have stood before the Great Judge with awesome fear and palpitation, knowing that we are sickening in His sight, and we have begged and groveled and twitched in a manner most fearsome to behold.
And after an ETERNITY, His Mighty Judgeship spaketh. Hear now, ye fairies and wood sprites, hear now, ye leprechauns and nymphs, and all the creatures of the worlds above and the worlds below! Listen to His unspeakably grand proclamation:
"Children of the Orange, I would have cast you out of my sight forever and verily, I would not have lost one moment of sleep, except for this one Truth which I cannot disavow: you entered into the pit of the DEVIL Himself, and verily, verily, etc., you emerged VICTORIOUS! For that reason, and that reason only, I forgive you! You may enter now into the Kingdom and play with my other children but you will not be given one second of slack.
GO NOW and take with you that hideous color! You disgust me."
Brethren, how merciful is He? Praise him with great praise, alleluia! brothers and sisters, for we have not been passed over and have instead been granted entrance into the promised land!! Alleluia, alleluia!
Amen.
We stand together before the Judge, each in our hearts knowing only one simple truth: WE. ARE. NOT. WORTHY.
Hear ye, all seraphim and cherubim, hear ye, all angels and archangels and spirits upon the earth and water, we have stood before the Great Judge with awesome fear and palpitation, knowing that we are sickening in His sight, and we have begged and groveled and twitched in a manner most fearsome to behold.
And after an ETERNITY, His Mighty Judgeship spaketh. Hear now, ye fairies and wood sprites, hear now, ye leprechauns and nymphs, and all the creatures of the worlds above and the worlds below! Listen to His unspeakably grand proclamation:
"Children of the Orange, I would have cast you out of my sight forever and verily, I would not have lost one moment of sleep, except for this one Truth which I cannot disavow: you entered into the pit of the DEVIL Himself, and verily, verily, etc., you emerged VICTORIOUS! For that reason, and that reason only, I forgive you! You may enter now into the Kingdom and play with my other children but you will not be given one second of slack.
GO NOW and take with you that hideous color! You disgust me."
Brethren, how merciful is He? Praise him with great praise, alleluia! brothers and sisters, for we have not been passed over and have instead been granted entrance into the promised land!! Alleluia, alleluia!
Amen.
