Conflicted Feelings - for the parents in the group

[JJReddawg]

I need to ask.

Before our 1st practice, he did not have an opinion. After our 1st practice, he mentioned once that he wanted to play the 1st game.

Interesting sidenote, my neighbor, the diehard FSU season ticket holder was adamant that the Doak experience should come first.

My heart is with the board majority.

Definitely ask what he wants to do. My 6 year old daughter's ballet recital was moved to this Saturday about 3 weeks ago. Hands down I said that her recital comes first and unfortunately we would miss the game. She loves ballet and looks forward to her class every Monday. When I told her that her recital day changed and we weren't going to the game, she was very upset. I explained to her that her recital was much more important than the game, but she wasn't hearing any of it. Needless to say, her decision won out and we'll be at the game.

 

[Marsh01]

He wants to do both, as do I. Which I will. Thanks board. You're a good bunch of right-minded dudes.

Sounds like my son. He gets pissed when he has a game and it conflicts with a Syracuse /Giants game. It means you brought him up right on both sides of the fence.

 

[TODDNTEXAS]

That changes everything. If your son would rather not go to the game then no question what to do. However, if he loves SU football as much as you then think about what an unforgettable day it would be to have your family experience a board tailgate and a game like this! I've never been to a board tailgate but sat in the SU section at Tennessee in 2001 and all I can say is I will never forget it! Not saying if that is a good or bad thing.

 

[Forza Azzurri]

Yeah, I think what got lost in the shuffle here is that yes, my kid, and my wife would be going to Doak with me. I would never leave my kid behind for something like this...

Does that change the scenario for anyone?

I'm actually leaning with the majority on this one anyway. I love coaching those games.

Definitely changes the scenario. Ask your son what he wants to do. Whatever he wants to do is the right answer.

When I posted that the Clemson game this year would be my first football game at the dome since the Miami game in '98, Texanmark asked why so long.

My answer was life - but primarily my kids.

Now, I get to go to lots of games but only if my little guy is sitting next to me. If he can't be there, I don't want to be there because it means he has something else going on. And, regardless of what that is, it is more important to me than any SU game.

 

[Tom Frey]

Contrary to what some reports say, SU Football is not going anywhere. I coach my 8 year old son in basketball, little league, and football and I don't think twice when i miss any event. Kids games will not last forever, SU games will still be going when you and I are long gone. I had a chance to go to the Clemson game but would have missed my son's football game( I am not the head coach). My son made a tackle for loss on forth down and goal from the 5 with less then a min. to play to seal the game. If I would have missed that play I wouldn't have cared if SU beat Clemson 70-0.

 

[TexanMark]

Alternative view.

He's six, it's one game, it's an unique event as you pointed out. You are going to have a lot more games to coach in the future.

That is my feeling too...there is a balance. Parents today are too consumed with getting their kids into every organized event under the sun.

 

[Millhouse]

 

[Upstate]

I never miss a kids game for an SU sporting event and that goes for all SU sports. Ever.

Part of the deal when you blew it inside her is dealing with conflicts in your personal life.

I cant even watch the FSU or Pitt games because my daughter has all day soccer tourneys during the gametimes.

So elegantly put.

 

[Frozen]

Coach your son's game. I've only been at this parenting thing for 8 months but already I can see that I an going to get more out of hanging with my kid than doing stuff for me.

Example: I took the day off from work today to watch my son because my wife will have to stay at work late today and will not be able to pick him up from daycare. And it kills me to have to miss work today, because today my department is being taken to the Nike store in downtown Manhattan to make some custom kicks. I was going to design some sweetass orange shoes. But my kid comes first. I enjoyed spending a rare full day with him more than I would have enjoyed shoes.

There will be other FSU games, Swish.

 

[Millhouse]

Why do 6 year old teams have assistant coaches?

Are the schemes so complex that they need multiple coaches to get the nuances across?

NO

It's so that the coaches can skip a game when they have better to do

"You'll never be able to turn back the sands of time" You're going to miss a bunch of six years running into each other and falling down. Go watch SU players run into each other and fall down and stare at the FSU cheerleaders like the big creep we all know you are

 

[GoSU96]

How do you know? You don't. No one does?

You can't live your life assuming there is disaster around every corner.

I agree that as a general rule kids come first, but sometimes exceptions can be made. Depends on the circumstances. Also as a general rule there will most likely be multitudes of pee wee, jr, travel team,... in multiple sports that a child will participate in and the child won't be shattered if a parent misses one or some.

I've done the whole t-ball, booster basket ball, pop warner coaching thing and there were parents who watched every practice and there were parents who did nothing more than drop off and pick up. The healthy balance is probably somewhere in the middle.

 

[Bayside44]

I go to SU games for selfish reasons. My kid likes football, but no question, it is something we are doing for me. My 6 year old gets bored by halftime, especially in 0-56 losses. And how often do you get to see the #2 team in the country in a classic gameday environment like Doak?

I also coach my kid's teams as well. Too many experiences where the other volunteer coach knew nothing about the sport in question. My kid loves it. I love it.

However, my kids game is at 10:30 in Orlando. Wouldn't get out until 11:30. If I flew, I wouldn't make Tallahasee until 3. So I'd miss the before game tailgate, which I'm sure will be much more fun than the post game tailgate. And tailgating is really half the fun of the game.

My 1-game replacement coach actually knows more about hoops than I, so I'm not worried about that. But, I'm still bummed. Any other parents ever been in the same boat?

I took my wife and kids last Saturday...they could not be more joyous (well the kids). You'll have a million games to coach, the kids get how special SU sports is, do the game.

 

[Scooch]

Obviously (or maybe not) it's all about picking your spots.

99% of the time I choose anything my kids are doing over anything else. Part of it is because of the schmaltzy reasons people have expressed, and part is because I sincerely enjoy my kid's company more than anybody else on Earth.

That being said, I got a tremendous opportunity to go to the Final Four this year, and it caused me to miss my son's hockey game. I really was conflicted about going, until Mrs. Scooch told me I'd be the biggest idiot ever if I didn't make the trip.

This case seems even more clear-cut, so I wouldn't stress over it for a minute.

 

[rrlbees]

It's obvious the only solution is to have your wife and son go to the SU game and you stay home and coach your sons team. You'll impress your son with your commitment to his team.


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[TexanMark]

I took my wife and kids last Saturday...they could not be more joyous (well the kids). You'll have a million games to coach, the kids get how special SU sports is, do the game.

Yup I coached 9-12 year olds in hoops...I also was in SpecOps at the time. I missed several games as a head coach due to Duty and even for a bowl game. It is fine to miss a game and it is fine to take your kid. I mean we are talking bout elementary school age kids here...not a Varsity HS Team.

 

[OburgOrange]

I raised my boys in the Dome. Mrs OburgOrange could change diapers anywhere, and i mean anywhere. When it was time for their sports, I coached them, never missed a game. Dome trips suffered. When their sports were done, it was back to making as many SU games as possible. I wouldnt change a thing, they were my priority. The result of this.... I raised two Syracuse fanatics. When we talk on the phone, SU sports is discussed first, and we ususally text more about SU than talk. Coach your boy, it will pay didvdends...you will grow an orange.

 

[IthacaBarrel]

That is my feeling too...there is a balance. Parents today are too consumed with getting their kids into every organized event under the sun.

Agree 100%. Way overbooked. I don't let any of my kids play more than one sport at a time, which to me is common sense but I am always amazed. When it comes to stuff like this, Clemson game for instance I give them the choice what they want to do. Their decisions are different which is great. I also don't understand why their is a push to get kids to play one sport at age 11. I also don't like the bs travel teams for 9-12 year old kids, complete money grab for these coaches. Nothing my wife and I love more than driving to Rochester all day for a 10 year old soccer tournament, What. Doesn't mean I don't love my kids, means I don't think its necessary for 10 year olds to travel 90 miles to play soccer or lacrosse.

My 2 cents

 

[Orangetradition44]

I agree. I coach football and lacrosse. My son plays FB, lax, wrestling, and basketball. I've missed many SU games to watch / coach my son. And I never regret it.

But I've missed some of his games for planned events, including SU, work, and vacations with the wife.

That doesn't make me a bad parent. And if your son knows he is your top priority... I think you'd be surprised that you missing one of his bball games when he was 6 isn't going to affect him one iota.

Alternative view.

He's six, it's one game, it's an unique event as you pointed out. You are going to have a lot more games to coach in the future.

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[IthacaBarrel]

Agree, just keep a balance. Can't be there for EVERYTHING all the time.

 

[rrlbees]

Yup I coached 9-12 year olds in hoops...I also was in SpecOps at the time. I missed several games as a head coach due to Duty and even for a bowl game. It is fine to miss a game and it is fine to take your kid. I mean we are talking bout elementary school age kids here...not a Varsity HS Team.

Actually my kids think it meant more to them for me to be there when they were young than now when they are in HS.

Wish I knew that earlier this year when I was at my daughters basketball game 20 hours after having my gall bladder ripped out.


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[Orangetradition44]

My son is currently doing 3 sports covering 4 days a week for about 8 hours of competition/practice. I agree it's too much. But he loves it and would have a hell of a time choosing what NOT to do.

Headed to Philly tomorrow for lax.

It is crazy and nothing compared to what it was like when I was a kid, but I only blame myself for that.

Agree 100%. Way overbooked. I don't let any of my kids play more than one sport at a time, which to me is common sense but I am always amazed. When it comes to stuff like this, Clemson game for instance I give them the choice what they want to do. Their decisions are different which is great. I also don't understand why their is a push to get kids to play one sport at age 11. I also don't like the bs travel teams for 9-12 year old kids, complete money grab for these coaches. Nothing my wife and I love more than driving to Rochester all day for a 10 year old soccer tournament, What. Doesn't mean I don't love my kids, means I don't think its necessary for 10 year olds to travel 90 miles to play soccer or lacrosse.

My 2 cents

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[IthacaBarrel]

Actually my kids think it meant more to them for me to be there when they were young than now when they are in HS.

Wish I knew that earlier this year when I was at my daughters basketball game 20 hours after having my gall bladder ripped out.

Good point bees. My Dad went to almost all of my games even the hoop games in Whitesboro and Cortland back in the day. A trip I am sure RF2044 had made.

 

[IthacaBarrel]

My son is currently doing 3 sports covering 4 days a week for about 8 hours of competition/practice. I agree it's too much. But he loves it and would have a hell of a time choosing what NOT to do.

Headed to Philly tomorrow for lax.

It is crazy and nothing compared to what it was like when I was a kid, but I only blame myself for that.

More power to you, I couldn't do it. I need downtime with the kids on the weekends and usually work either Saturday or Sunday am for 3-4 hours. But hey if it keeps the family together it's worth it. Like I said, I'm not judging I just couldn't do it

 

[rrlbees]

Good point bees. My Dad went to almost all of my games even the hoop games in Whitesboro and Cortland back in the day. A trip I am sure RF2044 had made.

When they are little and score a TD, make a basket, get a hit or score a goal, they search for their parents eyes. In HS if they do those things, they search for their girlfriend or boyfriend, or run around the field like a clown.


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[Bayside44]

Swish, remember, a lot of advice is coming form folks that can see the Orange all the time...the trip your way is a lot different, make it matter. SUballcouchburn