long story

Capt. Tuttle

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so, i'm in this parking dispute with a new neighbor. he's renting the house next door and ignores neighborhood conventions. parking on our street is scarce, but this guy and his wife refuse to use their driveway/garage and only park on the street. to make matters worse, permanent residents all know not to park directly across from someone's driveway because it is a narrow street and it becomes very difficult to get out when someone is there. this guy does it anyway. i have written very gentle, neighborly notes, which he has ignored. he lives behind gates but i have rung his door several times but the most he does is send his maid out to shoo me away. we had a neighborhood petition about fixing our street lighting and he was the only one who refused to sign it. when i see him going to his car and try to engage him, he just gives me the"talk to the hand" gesture, gets in and drives away.

and every single night he parks directly across from my driveway, no matter how many open slots there are on the street.

i know, it's his legal right. but it's the opposite of neighborly. so every night i think about keying his car. or slashing his tires. or other diabolical means of revenge.

then, the other day, a package for his wife gets misdelivered to our house. mrs. kristen buckingham. and then it dawns on me: this sonuvabitch is lindsay fuqqing buckingham!

no wonder fleetwood mac fired him
If I were you, I would cast aside petty parking differences. Instead, I would befriend him, get him drunk, ask him repeatedly for details about his time with Stevie, then go home and play Rhiannon over and over while being "with" your wife. But that's just me.
 
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Zelda Zonk

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I was thinking of something like this—where you can do the work from a hidden position. But, he's going to know who has the motivation to do this. It would be cool if you could hit the car with a clear liquid, that then erodes the paint. But, you gotta do it on the traffic side, as if it were a drive-by. Acetone?

I still think any damage to the car is going to point back at the complaining neighbor.
 

Ghost

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Okay, I asked this rental I had over, and she said, I'd take some discreet pics of the car and post it for sale on Kijiji (that's Canadian Craigslist). Price it low, but not too low to maintain legitimacy, and make sure the only contact information is the address. It won't fix the problem but it should annoy the out of him for a bit as people will come poking around his car, and try to buzz him to ask about selling it to them cheap.
 

Toga

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Okay, I asked this rental I had over, and she said, I'd take some discreet pics of the car and post it for sale on Kijiji (that's Canadian Craigslist). Price it low, but not too low to maintain legitimacy, and make sure the only contact information is the address. It won't fix the problem but it should annoy the out of him for a bit as people will come poking around his car, and try to buzz him to ask about selling it to them cheap.
Did you ask if she knows Tomcat's wife?
 

rocklloyd

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I talked about this with my wife. I did this because she is the most diabolical person I know.

This is what she said.

Tell him to rent a car, get the insurance and accidentally smash his car when you back out of your driveway. If he keeps parking there, keep renting cars and having accidents.
Damn, that’s stone cold. As well as genius
 

rocklloyd

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Did they sell the brentwood place for the $30milly they were asking for?
 

Brooky03

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moqui sounds rich. congrats on the money.

I’d just box him in. Not illegal, afaik, no damage to his car, but sends a message. At the very least, it would force a conversation.

Or use social media to your advantage. Maybe you could tag him on Twitter and call him out to the world.
 

Ghost

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Okay, none of these ideas seem to be working. Let's figure out some thresholds:

Felony or misdemeanor - which is more your cup of tea?

Bleach the gas?

Birdseed is always a great answer to problems. Bombard the car with it, the area around the car, etc... Maybe in the car a bit as well to see if some squirrels will move in overnight.

Torch it.

I'd opt for C, but I get that some people don't feel like putting in the effort.
 

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