I was thinking about this a bit too much this AM for a good analogy for Rutgers and I kept coming up with cars.
"I drive a muscle car dammit!" would be their cry.
They started off as the first person on the block with a car in high school and they love to point to that fact. They cruised around in their Daewoo and at first everyone thought "awww they can drive, that's so cool!". Not too long after other people started getting better cars though and as more kids learned about cars they started laughing at the Daewoo.
After high school they ditched the Daewoo and grabbed a convertible v6 Mustang. They enjoyed for a bit for what it was, hey it's a Mustang and it's a covertible! They eventually learned though, that the 3.8 Ford engine is possibly the worst ever. Their friends started bagging on them for getting beat up by 4 cylinder imports and, since there were a lot of imports on the road, eventually they decided enough was enough.
Then they found an 05 Camaro SS and it was love. A 5.7 V8 w/ 300 HP and they found one in Blacksburg, VA, that had built up it's prior owners reputation and they fell in love with it. They brought it home, threw straight pipes, wheels, and wide tires on it and ran around town doing burnouts. This is a muscle car they thought, and it couldn't possibly get any better. They regailed their friends with stories of all the races they won. They were losing as many as they won, and they were only beating Honda Civics but they omitted those details from the story. After all, who really needed to know?
Fast forward 10 years and they still have the Camaro. They still talk about their beloved muscle car in high regard although it's high on mileage and down on power and in desperate need of an engine rebuild and some new tires. They can't afford either though, because they bought the pipes, wheels, etc on credit and still have not paid them off 10 years later. They still talk about their muscle car to anyone that listens but even their 16 year old nephews aren't interested like they were 10 years ago when they thought they were the coolest. Burnouts don't impress them anymore and they can see the damaged interior from the leaking t-tops as well as the oil spots it leaves in the driveway. Worst of all is their aunt now remarried and at their family events their new uncle drives his new Corvette ZR-1 in from Columbus, OH. He will always park right next to the beater Camaro and rev his engine to draw attention that way when he pulls in.
So here is where the past catches up to the present. Uncle Rutgers is leaving the family gathering broke, and dejected. Uncle Buckeye pulls up next to him at the red light and now it's go time. Rutgers has no chance but they won't admit as much. The light is about to turn green and they are going to floor it, what choice does he have? Ohio State is about to trounce them and prove all their mythical victories a lie, while Rutgers are about to be left sitting in a cloud of smoke from the piston rods that blew through the side of their engine block. But until that light turns green Uncle Rutgers won't admit the loss. No one will notice his pile of debt, and lack of accomplishments if he can just win this one time. He has no idea what's under the hood next to him, since he's not very bright, but he is convinced his Camaro has to be faster. In his mind he's still unbeaten afterall, and he drives a muscle car dammit!
And here lies Uncle Rutgers Camaro
