{Sarah Mclachlan music plays}
Opening shot of Syracuse losing to Louisville playing on the TV.
Pan to
RandomGuy sitting on the couch, out of beer, big sad puppy eyes…
Hi, I’m Sarah McLachlan. Will you be an angel for a helpless cuse fan? Everyday innocent cuse fans are abused, beaten, and neglected. And they’re crying out for help.
Please, call the number on your screen with a monthly gift right now. For just eighteen dollars a month, only sixty cents a day, you’ll help rescue cuse fans from their abusers and provide beer, wings, strength and conditioning, a true dual threat quarterback, and a half decent right tackle. Call, or join online in the next thirty minutes, and you’ll receive this welcome kit with a photo of a cuse fan on his couch right now – one who’s been given a second chance, thanks to you.