You have just been named the new CEO of ESPN...

[Delmar]

Not for nothing but it's RsBI. And while we're at it it's Grounds Rules Double.

But definitely Scwartz. Or maybe send him to Alaska to cover the Idiot Rod.

RsBI and ERsA.

 

[CaptainJ]

Being i dont watch it anymore other than online after games and clips, I'd aim "lower" and go for some board favorites like Doug Gottlieb, Andy Katz(unless he continues to grow on me with that cheesy grin this season), Dana Oneil... there are just too many.

I would *HIRE* Michael Irvin. I would do so in such a way that he burnt all bridges elsewhere and make him sign some exclusivity contract that is the paper equivalent to an iron maiden(this is a fantasy so forget legality) that he wouldn't work on the air elsewhere for another decade(I'd go longer, but I believe in giving people a chance to redeem themselves), and then fire him. I'd likely win a Nobel prize for the betterment of humanity and donate any money to anyone who wanted to do what the neighbor in office space said he'd do if he won the lottery. Everyone deserves to be happy at least once before they die.

 

[Delmar]

I would keep Bob Ley, Ian Darke, Steve McManaman, Twellman, Lalas, and fire the rest.

I would also have Tom Jackson thrown out the door.

Maybe that's the better question: which 5 would you keep?

 

[cpatrocks]

I vehemently disagree. Stephen A. Smith is the only one that knows what's up over there.

 

[Delmar]

I vehemently disagree. Stephen A. Smith is the only one that knows what's up over there.

I wish Stephen A. Smith had a lower volume setting, but I can tolerate him because I think he is being himself. That's the way he rolls.

 

[dasher]

I would keep Bob Ley, Ian Darke, Steve McManaman, Twellman, Lalas, and fire the rest.

I would also have Tom Jackson thrown out the door.

Bob Ley is the host for outside the lines. Out he goes.

 

[Delmar]

I have? Man, I'm going to buy so much cocaine.

Especially since in the hypothetical it's JayZ who negotiated your contract.

 

[CaptainJ]

I'd be tempted to keep Berman because of this...although I know it would be a lot more popular with the those of us who generally work this board 2nd and third shift. Oddly, Canada seems to be doing fine with these pills available. I admire Berman here for his honesty, and if he can pull a Charlie Sheen(although Charlie didnt on camera), I'd say the more power to him. Nature doesn't care about opinion, it cares about results and that's a decent model to follow, IMO Im sure some will disagree for various reasons, but hopefully you can at least see the humor in it.

 

[HoustonCuse]

I'd dig up Tom Brennan's corpse and fire it.

 

[LAOrange]

I'm interested in why? The Michael Irvin story in particular. There appears to be some serious psychological distress.

On another note: My first would be Schwarz and whoever thought it was okay to run that story. My second would be Olbermann. He tries too hard. He's like that co-worker that just hates you but can't tell you because HR would make his life miserable. I'd also get rid of the guy with the white eyes. His corneas freak me out.

 

[Noexcuse]

I'd dig up Tom Brennan's corpse and fire it.

I think he's still alive. But you could rehire him THEN fire him.

 

[BuffOrange]

I guess I'd keep a lot of idiots on board because presumably they draw eyeballs; but then relentlessly taunt their nonsensical emotion-based opinions in the cafeteria.

Focus on making espn2 the channel "for smart people". Some Bill Barnwell & Ken Pomeroy type stuff. Zero ex-jocks who have nothing interesting to say and only speak in vague cliches, which I guess is pretty much the same thing as no ex-jocks.
OK that's not really fair - the guy who played 12 years of Left Guard for the Browns might be interesting - I wouldn't know since they only hire Cowboys, Giants, Diva WR's, and LB's who were probably involved in a murder. But maybe give the Browns Guard a chance instead of an 18th WR who talks out of his butt. Oh and Jay Bilas of course. Perhaps a McDonough/Bilas/Raftery reality show.

 

[OburgOrange]

i Havent watched a sportscenter in years. Dont even know who is on it. Couldnt stand it way back when. I dont even watch pregame shows either, just the game broadcasts. So, in other words, I fired them all years ago.

 

[pearl31]

Not for nothing but it's RsBI. And while we're at it it's Grounds Rules Double.

and while we're really at it, it's Times Out

 

[cliftonparksufan]

I vehemently disagree. Stephen A. Smith is the only one that knows what's up over there.

I'm not a Stephen A Smith fan (or apologist) but you are 100% correct. He has the absolute best connections.

 

[VaBeachOrFan]

Kenny Mayne! I get so tired of trying to follow his rapid-fire diversions into mindless triviality and losing track of the tiny nugget of SPORTS NEWS he began with.-VBOF

 

[Noexcuse]

and while we're really at it, it's Times Out

 

[OttoinGrotto]

I'm not a Stephen A Smith fan (or apologist) but you are 100% correct. He has the absolute best connections.

Exactly.

 

[HoustonCuse]

I think he's still alive. But you could rehire him THEN fire him.

He's dead to me.

 

[stuckinbig11]

Schwarz

 

[cusefan88]

Skip Bayless, Lou Holtz, Mark May, Mark Schwartz, Chris Broussard.

 

[texascpa]

1. Stuart Scott
2. Stuart Scott
3. Stuart Scott
4. Stuart Scott
5. Mark Schwarz

 

[KellySyracuse]

I would find a way to buy the company out of the Disney ownership and make it a mission to bring ESPN back to the place for sports and SPORTS NEWS. The Disney connection is what started the decline. They're more interested in creating drama and calling it news.

 

[RF2044]

1. Mark Schwartz

2. Scooch


Potato, po-tah-to.

 

[Marsh01]

Schwarz Mark may Skip bayless Kirk herbsteit Mike greenberg stu scott I cant even remember the last time i watched sportscenter. Probably 2 years.