Oy, I gotta let this one go. Maybe not yet, though.
On (1), we might agree to disagree here. In a game where refs struggle to use discretion (ahem, block/charge), it's easiest to have black and white rules. For disciplinary purposes, then, all punches are equal. Obviously the gut-punch is much less dangerous than a shot above the shoulders, a sidearm less dangerous than a haymaker, that's obvious. But nobody wants refs parsing those moves, so a punch is a punch.
(2), again, sure. Elbows can do more damage than punches, but if anything the pendulum has swung too far in penalizing elbows (in particular, I remember both Fab and Rautins picking up absurd flagrants when they were simply protecting the ball while getting handchecked). More often than not, an elbow is the consequence of a legitimate basketball move. A punch never is.