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Another chapter in this sad story. DeBorah is an amazing woman:
Hello Family and Friends. I hope you are all enjoying a happy, healthy and blessed holiday season. Just another quick check in, update and share about our Christmas day.
Christmas morning was ROUGH! I stayed in bed with Floyd until about 9:30 or 10 and when I got up found myself having an ugly face, snotty nose, wailingly crying morning. We are sleeping in the bedroom downstairs so when I get up in the morning I head upstairs to the master to pull myself together. Well, Christmas morning I had to head upstairs, as far away from Floyd as I could get, because I needed to let out some noisy sobs. I'm not sure why I was so emotionally distraught except that the holidays tend to put people in that mood anyway.
Pulling it together was a bit challenging. I cried as I brushed my teeth, the cold face cloth helped but not for long. I cried as I got dressed and I cried on my way back downstairs and into the kitchen to get some coffee in me. That's when I finally started settling down... sipping my coffee on the couch in silence as I thought about the day. Floyd was sleeping like a baby and I hated to wake him but I cleaned him up and got some nutrition and fluid in him. As I suspected, he went right back to sleep.
I spent about 3 hours reading texts, listening to Christmas greetings on my voice mail and doing odd and end things around the house. Finally around 4PM I decided to shut it all down and go spend high quality Christmas time with Floyd. So I shut down the house except for gospel on the music choice channel and headed to the room with Floyd. He was starting to stir and I was happy about that. I put gospel Christmas music on the tv, dimmed the lights, put the DVD of our wedding and reception at the MGM Resort and our honeymoon in S. Africa on the spare TV I set up to share that with Floyd and turned he volume down so we could see but not hear the video.
We spent the next several hours in the peace of soft gospel christmas music playing on one tv while videos of our wedding and honeymoon played on another and when that was over, just sitting/laying together, listening to the music... and the silence... so we could hear and experience the peace and calm of our love and the love of the Lord. It was such a wonderfully peaceful, calm, quiet and loving Christmas for us. Floyd slept during most of it but as I cozied up to him, took his hand and gently wrapped my arms around his tiny little waist, I said, "I'm here honey"... and he said, "I know babe". That was all I needed.
The greatest gift I received on Christmas was about 2 hours in, Floyd shifted his position considerably and as he did he whispered, "I love you DeBorah. Thank you for coming into my life." OMG! My heart just melted and tears of love and joy welled up in my eyes. It is amazing how deep our love has grown. There are times when I fully understand the term, two hearts beating as one because sometimes I try to match my breathing to his and when we are fully in sync, our hearts feel like they are beating as one. IT'S AN AMAZING FEELING!
Sometime around 8:30PM I went and had a little something to eat, gave Floyd more nutrition and fluids and by 10PM we were calling it a night. I'm able to feed Floyd while he sleeps because he has a PEG Tube in his belly and for all intents and purposes, is on a liquid diet and I keep him hydrated with water and Pedialyte. (sp)
He speaks in whispers and his whispers are getting more and more quiet and hard to understand. His speech is starting to slur a bit more so to hear and understand him my ear is literally right at his mouth. He gets a little frustrated when I don't understand what he's saying and I ask him to repeat himself over and over again. I get it... I'd be frustrated too. He also gets restless sometimes. Yal know what it's like when you're sick and in bed day after day... after a while your body starts to ache and you just want to get up and get some fresh air! He can still stand for a moment or two with assistance and his fresh air comes from me opening the bedroom window every now and then to freshen up the room. The candles loved ones have sent are a huge help with this and some of the fresh flowers have given off the absolute best aromas!
That's it for now... Floyd and I had one of the best Christmas's ever... once I got over my crying fit! The Greatest Gift of all is Love and I Love how amazing our love is these days. I'm sure the love all of you are sending adds to and strengthens our love, so thank you for that. Please keep the love coming... We Feel It!
Merry Christmas Everyone...
Sending Love and Blessings...
Floyd and DeBorah
Hello Family and Friends. I hope you are all enjoying a happy, healthy and blessed holiday season. Just another quick check in, update and share about our Christmas day.
Christmas morning was ROUGH! I stayed in bed with Floyd until about 9:30 or 10 and when I got up found myself having an ugly face, snotty nose, wailingly crying morning. We are sleeping in the bedroom downstairs so when I get up in the morning I head upstairs to the master to pull myself together. Well, Christmas morning I had to head upstairs, as far away from Floyd as I could get, because I needed to let out some noisy sobs. I'm not sure why I was so emotionally distraught except that the holidays tend to put people in that mood anyway.
Pulling it together was a bit challenging. I cried as I brushed my teeth, the cold face cloth helped but not for long. I cried as I got dressed and I cried on my way back downstairs and into the kitchen to get some coffee in me. That's when I finally started settling down... sipping my coffee on the couch in silence as I thought about the day. Floyd was sleeping like a baby and I hated to wake him but I cleaned him up and got some nutrition and fluid in him. As I suspected, he went right back to sleep.
I spent about 3 hours reading texts, listening to Christmas greetings on my voice mail and doing odd and end things around the house. Finally around 4PM I decided to shut it all down and go spend high quality Christmas time with Floyd. So I shut down the house except for gospel on the music choice channel and headed to the room with Floyd. He was starting to stir and I was happy about that. I put gospel Christmas music on the tv, dimmed the lights, put the DVD of our wedding and reception at the MGM Resort and our honeymoon in S. Africa on the spare TV I set up to share that with Floyd and turned he volume down so we could see but not hear the video.
We spent the next several hours in the peace of soft gospel christmas music playing on one tv while videos of our wedding and honeymoon played on another and when that was over, just sitting/laying together, listening to the music... and the silence... so we could hear and experience the peace and calm of our love and the love of the Lord. It was such a wonderfully peaceful, calm, quiet and loving Christmas for us. Floyd slept during most of it but as I cozied up to him, took his hand and gently wrapped my arms around his tiny little waist, I said, "I'm here honey"... and he said, "I know babe". That was all I needed.
The greatest gift I received on Christmas was about 2 hours in, Floyd shifted his position considerably and as he did he whispered, "I love you DeBorah. Thank you for coming into my life." OMG! My heart just melted and tears of love and joy welled up in my eyes. It is amazing how deep our love has grown. There are times when I fully understand the term, two hearts beating as one because sometimes I try to match my breathing to his and when we are fully in sync, our hearts feel like they are beating as one. IT'S AN AMAZING FEELING!
Sometime around 8:30PM I went and had a little something to eat, gave Floyd more nutrition and fluids and by 10PM we were calling it a night. I'm able to feed Floyd while he sleeps because he has a PEG Tube in his belly and for all intents and purposes, is on a liquid diet and I keep him hydrated with water and Pedialyte. (sp)
He speaks in whispers and his whispers are getting more and more quiet and hard to understand. His speech is starting to slur a bit more so to hear and understand him my ear is literally right at his mouth. He gets a little frustrated when I don't understand what he's saying and I ask him to repeat himself over and over again. I get it... I'd be frustrated too. He also gets restless sometimes. Yal know what it's like when you're sick and in bed day after day... after a while your body starts to ache and you just want to get up and get some fresh air! He can still stand for a moment or two with assistance and his fresh air comes from me opening the bedroom window every now and then to freshen up the room. The candles loved ones have sent are a huge help with this and some of the fresh flowers have given off the absolute best aromas!
That's it for now... Floyd and I had one of the best Christmas's ever... once I got over my crying fit! The Greatest Gift of all is Love and I Love how amazing our love is these days. I'm sure the love all of you are sending adds to and strengthens our love, so thank you for that. Please keep the love coming... We Feel It!
Merry Christmas Everyone...
Sending Love and Blessings...
Floyd and DeBorah
