If you have ever played pickup hoops, you will LOVE this

[Brooky03]

At 5'6" with a good drive but poor outside shot, Super-Sweaty Hairy Guy is my worst nightmare. I don't know if SS/HG ran ten miles to the court every time we met, but he was always soaking wet and ready from the very first moment. And chances were good that, on a switch, he would try to post me up at least once each game. I was too stubborn to bow out let him back me down. The memory of wearing a large stranger's sweat and stank is still horrifying.

x2

 

[Eric15]

Pet peeves of mine in pick up basketball-

1) playing by 1's and 2's. Either play by all 1's, or by 2's and 3's. But playing by 1's and 2's makes an outside shot disproportionately valuable, and leads to idiots just chucking crap up the entire game. In my perfect world, all pick up games would be by all 1's to 7. That way people waiting to play don't have to wait an eternity.

2) when you have 8 guys on the court, and someone suggests running full court. There has never been a fun 4 on 4 full-court pick up game in history.

 

[reedny]

The guy + kid is funny .. and the old man ("I got next .. day"). lol Anyway, I have to run b/c the "NBA" is calling.

 

[CuseFaninVT]

Pet peeves of mine in pick up basketball-

1) playing by 1's and 2's. Either play by all 1's, or by 2's and 3's. But playing by 1's and 2's makes an outside shot disproportionately valuable, and leads to idiots just chucking crap up the entire game. In my perfect world, all pick up games would be by all 1's to 7. That way people waiting to play don't have to wait an eternity.

2) when you have 8 guys on the court, and someone suggests running full court. There has never been a fun 4 on 4 full-court pick up game in history.

We play 1s and 2s up here. Usually games are to 11 so it's okay, but I hear you on the value. But we are all really bad at doing math and keeping score at the same time, so it's better to keep it this way.

There are a couple gyms up here where 4 on 4 are much better (the Burlington Y is the best example), but I hear you. I try to be the guy that runs all the time, but even I get worn out. And the nimrods who make this suggestion usually do so when we lose one or two guys from the original 5x5. I don't want to run 4s when I'm already tired.

I love playing up here though. Everyone brings a dark shirt and a white shirt so none of us oldies have to run around in skins. And every place I play is two games and off. So much more fair and fun when you can get a consistent run and the one team with a ringer doesn't get to stay on all night.

 

[Millhouse]

It's so funny, and so accurate (totally safe for work)

they had a pretty good gym stereotype guy video too

 

[Eric15]

We play 1s and 2s up here.

I just think the overall quality of play goes up so much more when it's all 1's.

This is unrelated to basketball, but the concept of an "all-time quarterback" when playing backyard football really grinds my gears, too.

 

[CuseFaninVT]

I just think the overall quality of play goes up so much more when it's all 1's.

This is unrelated to basketball, but the concept of an "all-time quarterback" when playing backyard football really grinds my gears, too.

It's really strange to me (just turned 46 this past weekend) how many people, including myself have latched onto the 3 pt shot. I could barely shoot a foul shot when I was younger, but I shoot close to 40% from three now. It's so strange to see 4 or 5 guys standing outside the 3 point line. I miss big boy basketball where you would throw the ball into the big man and let him go to work.

NOTE - I got better at shooting 3s because that's how we select teams up here. The only guy who gets to shoot from the free throw line is 70 (FYI, he's also the pants guy)

 

[Millhouse]

I just think the overall quality of play goes up so much more when it's all 1's.

This is unrelated to basketball, but the concept of an "all-time quarterback" when playing backyard football really grinds my gears, too.

when you're a kid and you have odd numbers and everyone sucks throwing the ball, it makes sense.

 

[Eric15]

when you're a kid and you have odd numbers and everyone sucks throwing the ball, it makes sense.

If it's a Dad playing with a bunch of little kids, then it's fine. But we used to play in college a lot, and like say 19 guys would show up, and some douche would always say "ok i'll be all-time QB" and I would just be like, "no you won't, one guy on the team with the extra guy will sit out once every 10 series."

 

[RF2044]

2) when you have 8 guys on the court, and someone suggests running full court. There has never been a fun 4 on 4 full-court pick up game in history.

I'm with CuseFaninVT on item #2 -- it depends on the court size. I used to play pickup ball with a group of guys a couple times per week in a middle school gym. The basketball court wasn't full regulation size, so running 5 on 5 was a little too congested. Especially when half the guys were spazzes who hadn't played high school ball and didn't know much about positioning / where to go on the court. So 4 on 4 was perfectly ideal on that middle sized court.

But the opposite is also true. There is nothing worse than running full court 4 on 4 on a regulation sized court. Too much space, and the game becomes all drive oriented.

And now that I'm 43, running up and down the court isn't as easy as it used to be--not going to lie. Doesn't matter what age people are--having to run the court separates the men from the boys. I've seen PLENTY of guys who excel playing half court dragging when they have to get back to defend or get out on the fast break. Those guys are gassed after just 4 or 5 trips up and down the court.

 

[CuseFaninVT]

And now that I'm 43, running up and down the court isn't as easy as it used to be--not going to lie. Doesn't matter what age people are--having to run the court separates the men from the boys. I've seen PLENTY of guys who excel playing half court dragging when they have to get back to defend or get out on the fast break. Those guys are dragging after just 4 or 5 trips up and down the court.

and that's when I get to work...

Man it would be fun to play pickup with a bunch of you all. Let me know if you are ever going to be in the Burlington VT area, and I'll hook you up. I know where to play every day but Saturday I think.

 

[Millhouse]

If it's a Dad playing with a bunch of little kids, then it's fine. But we used to play in college a lot, and like say 19 guys would show up, and some douche would always say "ok i'll be all-time QB" and I would just be like, "no you won't, one guy on the team with the extra guy will sit out once every 10 series."

they could do a good intramurals stereotype video

wearing your high school jersey guy. wearing expensive receiver gloves guy. won't come out of the game guy. i'm open guy

 

[cuseincincy]

Other additions (my starting 5)

1.) Super Aggressive D Guy -- picks up at three-quarter court. pounds his palms on the floor when you bring the ball up as if Coach K came out to watch just him.

2.) Not Funny Trash Talk Guy -- he usually has the worst shooting % of anyone and never plays D. Nearly starts a fight.

3.) Blind Pick Guy -- does nothing other than set blind picks. O pts. 0 asts. 2 rebounds. 6 blind picks.

4.) Super Sweaty/Hairy Guy -- You play to 21. This guy is driping in sweat at 2-0. I hate guarding him. Usually doesn't shower either.

5.) Hand Check Guy -- You can never call it but this guy is annoying too. Does the bar in your back when you try to post up.

Honourable Mention All Annoying: Faceguard Guy, Undercuts you When You Shoot Guy

Great piece.

Lets not forget

6.) Sweaty , hairy shirtless guy. Dude was unstoppable driving to the hoop because no one wanted to touch him.

 

[OttoinGrotto]

I'm with CuseFaninVT on item #2 -- it depends on the court size. I used to play pickup ball with a group of guys a couple times per week in a middle school gym. The basketball court wasn't full regulation size, so running 5 on 5 was a little too congested. Especially when half the guys were spazzes who hadn't played high school ball and didn't know much about positioning / where to go on the court. So 4 on 4 was perfectly ideal on that middle sized court.

But the opposite is also true. There is nothing worse than running full court 4 on 4 on a regulation sized court. Too much space, and the game becomes all drive oriented.

And now that I'm 43, running up and down the court isn't as easy as it used to be--not going to lie. Doesn't matter what age people are--having to run the court separates the men from the boys. I've seen PLENTY of guys who excel playing half court dragging when they have to get back to defend or get out on the fast break. Those guys are gassed after just 4 or 5 trips up and down the court.

Mormons are known for being way too in to basketball, and a lot of our chapels have basketball courts. Depending on the chapel though they aren't all regulation size. My favorite courts are like 3/4 in length - basically you hit half court and you're a step away from the three point line. Ideal for full court 4 on 4 action.

I'm that boy you described that's a good half court player that at this point dreads going full court.

 

[CuseFaninVT]

Mormons are known for being way too in to basketball, and a lot of our chapels have basketball courts. Depending on the chapel though they aren't all regulation size. My favorite courts are like 3/4 in length - basically you hit half court and you're a step away from the three point line. Ideal for full court 4 on 4 action.

I'm that boy you described that's a good half court player that at this point dreads going full court.

Sounds a lot like Catholics and the courts we use for CYO.

 

[orangefog]

I'm with CuseFaninVT on item #2 -- it depends on the court size. I used to play pickup ball with a group of guys a couple times per week in a middle school gym. The basketball court wasn't full regulation size, so running 5 on 5 was a little too congested. Especially when half the guys were spazzes who hadn't played high school ball and didn't know much about positioning / where to go on the court. So 4 on 4 was perfectly ideal on that middle sized court.

But the opposite is also true. There is nothing worse than running full court 4 on 4 on a regulation sized court. Too much space, and the game becomes all drive oriented.

And now that I'm 43, running up and down the court isn't as easy as it used to be--not going to lie. Doesn't matter what age people are--having to run the court separates the men from the boys. I've seen PLENTY of guys who excel playing half court dragging when they have to get back to defend or get out on the fast break. Those guys are gassed after just 4 or 5 trips up and down the court.

Pulaski Park in New York Mills was always 4 on 4, for the very reason you stated. And, for a long time in the 80's and up until the late 90's, it was the best place in the Utica area to find a game. We used to have cars pull up from all the surrounding areas looking for a game.

 

[Shawn91111]

Pet peeves of mine in pick up basketball-

1) playing by 1's and 2's. Either play by all 1's, or by 2's and 3's. But playing by 1's and 2's makes an outside shot disproportionately valuable, and leads to idiots just chucking crap up the entire game. In my perfect world, all pick up games would be by all 1's to 7. That way people waiting to play don't have to wait an eternity.

2) when you have 8 guys on the court, and someone suggests running full court. There has never been a fun 4 on 4 full-court pick up game in history.

Never have played a pick up game that wasn't going by 1's and 2's

 

[cmr27]

I'm like the Terminator version of the blind pick guy.

You're like an assassin. A good blind pick artist can see an opportunity about 5 seconds before else. You're ready 10 feet before the guy gets to you.

 

[OttoinGrotto]

You're like an assassin. A good blind pick artist can see an opportunity about 5 seconds before else. You're ready 10 feet before the guy gets to you.

The part that's the most fun is when the pick is so clean and so out of nowhere to the defender that after getting leveled they don't know how to respond. I've actually had guys apologize to me on the court, because it's confusing to them that they intentionally ran in to a wall. Last time I got a guy really good he apologized for bumping in to me and then mumbled to himself about not running around out of control and keeping his head in the game.

 

[jordoo]

Pet peeves of mine in pick up basketball-

1) playing by 1's and 2's. Either play by all 1's, or by 2's and 3's. But playing by 1's and 2's makes an outside shot disproportionately valuable, and leads to idiots just chucking crap up the entire game. In my perfect world, all pick up games would be by all 1's to 7. That way people waiting to play don't have to wait an eternity.

2) when you have 8 guys on the court, and someone suggests running full court. There has never been a fun 4 on 4 full-court pick up game in history.

1) agreed but it doesn't bother me that much.
2) Completely agree! 4x4 full court is just easy baskets up and down and by the end only the guy with the ball is running.

 

[CuseFaninVT]

The part that's the most fun is when the pick is so clean and so out of nowhere to the defender that after getting leveled they don't know how to respond. I've actually had guys apologize to me on the court, because it's confusing to them that they intentionally ran in to a wall. Last time I got a guy really good he apologized for bumping in to me and then mumbled to himself about not running around out of control and keeping his head in the game.

I play with the guy who is in charge of the FBI detail up here. Played football at St. Johns. He calls out his picks when it's going to be blind. I think he just doesn't want to hurt anyone. I've run into a few of those over the years. Better than going to the chiropractor for my back. Adjusts all my bones!

And now I know to keep my razor sharp elbows up if you and I are ever playing against each other...

 

[Eric15]

Never have played a pick up game that wasn't going by 1's and 2's

I'd say 90% of the games I've played in are 1s and 2s. It's just accepted as being the norm, when all it does it turn everyone into Elvir Ovcina.

 

[reedny]

I'm with CuseFaninVT on item #2 -- it depends on the court size. I used to play pickup ball with a group of guys a couple times per week in a middle school gym. The basketball court wasn't full regulation size, so running 5 on 5 was a little too congested. Especially when half the guys were spazzes who hadn't played high school ball and didn't know much about positioning / where to go on the court. So 4 on 4 was perfectly ideal on that middle sized court.

But the opposite is also true. There is nothing worse than running full court 4 on 4 on a regulation sized court. Too much space, and the game becomes all drive oriented.

And now that I'm 43, running up and down the court isn't as easy as it used to be--not going to lie. Doesn't matter what age people are--having to run the court separates the men from the boys. I've seen PLENTY of guys who excel playing half court dragging when they have to get back to defend or get out on the fast break. Those guys are gassed after just 4 or 5 trips up and down the court.

Taking the fifth on this.

 

[RF2044]

Eric15 -- this is a GREAT thread!

 

[Eric15]

Eric15 -- this is a GREAT thread!

Thanks! Fun threads > sanctions threads.