The Lady that was the Big East:
She was an akward young lady at first but alway cute and you could see the potential. In elementary school she was outgoing but kind of snobbish, refusing to be friends with a homely girl that would later come back to haunt her (PSU).
She hit the Junior High years and matured quickly and others took notice. She was going to be smoking hot as soon as she came of age and as soon as High School hit she was to die for. She wasn't always the smartest or have the best understanding of geography but it was easily overlooked because well... she was smoking hot. Her other attractive catholic cousin didn't want to move into her neighborhood but they were still at almost all the family get togethers expect the major ones (Notre Dame) and remained fairly close when her cousin found it convenient.
She hit college and and was all of the sudden not the center of attention. Add to this she lost some important hot friends (Miami, Va Tech, and BC) and picked up some really bad habits along the way (DePaul, Marquette) and you could see the spiral starting. Despite her father continuosly telling her she was beautiful, by the time college was over, she was used up and of no particular interest to anyone. She still had a chance to maintain a somewhat relavent social status but had learned nothing along the way.
Not long after she shrivled away to nothing. Eating disorders, drug habits, and yet still pimped herself out to anyone that would oblige with a kind smile. Still noone would oblige, except of that one nice guy from Texas who said he would show her a good time, but stood her up on date night (TCU). She would still troll craigslist personal adds but noone ever responds anymore. She was used goods with too much excess baggage and fell apart as even her earliest friends choose to leave her (SU, Pitt). So she rotted away in solitude, still convinced of her own importance, but being the laughing stock of all onlookers while only being vaguely missed by familiar faces from those good old days that were so long ago.
Her cousin would've still like her to pull through but she had been the one feeding her the drugs all along that led to her demise and refused to stop enabling her. Her father that so highly touted her was last seen in Providence repeatedly watching the Godfather trilogy while eating pizza and donuts.
In short, the Big East was/is Lindsay Lohan.