Crazytown, New York (JC Gazette) - Homecoming Queen (aka 'HoCo Q') went to the prom with Billy O'Hoolihan. When interviewed by the high school paper, the Wildcat Gazette, on who were her suitors, she said that Jim Triple, Tom McDichael and Bryce Chad were also in the running.
A devastated Mitch Jones was a broken man-boy standing, head down, near his locker as he knew, deep down, he also gave his most chivalrous effort, but hadn’t been recognized publicly, for failing, in securing the HoCo Q's company for the prom. He had known there was a true connection between him and the HoCo Q from the day she moved, an unspoken bond, akin to the JLH and Ethan Embry story line from the classic old movie,
Can't Hardly Wait (side note,
shipping Amanda Beckett and Preston Meyers is our jam here at the Gazette).
The ‘We Love Mitch Jones’ fan club, that doubled as the party wing of the Wildcat Physics Club, sent representative Shelley James to the Gazette, wearing a morbid t-shirt that said, 'Old physicists don’t die; their wavefunctions go to zero as time goes to infinity', stating that, "while true love hasn't been found yet between Mitch and HoCo Q, we're certain that we'll find another late 90s RomCom that will prove that Mitch and HoCo Q are meant to be together."
At the after prom party, when the Gazette caught HoCo Q at the Wildcat-shaped CBD gummies station and asked pointedly why she left out Mitch Jones from her list of suitors, she responded, "Who cares? Billy, Jim, Tom, Bryce, Mitch... could have been that super rich kid, what's his name - Dilly or some weird rich person name? Point is, doesn't matter. I'm going to Stanford next year and dualing in CompSci and Business and going to be a gajillionaire soon. None of these guys matter. Also, Mitch will be fine, he should have asked Shelley James with her creepy t-shirts, she's low-key awesome."
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Two points: 1) I can't imagine this post lands with anyone outside of of maybe
OttoinGrotto and 2) who cares if he didn't mention us?
Doesn't matter. We shot our shot, didn't land. Doesn't matter if he didn't include us in his list of people he denied.