If Pitt was a person...

[OrangeDW]

If Pitt was a person, he’d casually drop -bombs in conversations in family friendly public places.

 

[Ragman2000]

If Pitt were a person they'd be your overweight middle-aged neighbor who posts selfies of herself on social media with the filters turned to 11 so she looks alien/ghost-like but thinks she is fooling people that she looks 20.

 

[OrangeDW]

If Pitt was a person, he’d dump his garbage into privately owned dumpsters to avoid having to pay.

 

[OttoinGrotto]

If Pitt was a person, she'd be the woman that's a vocal vegan at work, and whenever pizza is ordered for lunch at the office there's always a cheeseless vegetable monstrosity ordered so she can have some, she eats one slice, ensuring that there isn't enough sausage and mushroom for everyone else because, not naming names, but somebody in accounting took way more than the courteous two slices it's understood is appropriate to take before everybody has some, LOOKING AT YOU PHIL.

Also, Pitt is also Phil.

 

[Noexcuse]

If Pitt were a person they would be Pitt, but alas they aren't even worthy of that level of humanity.

 

[OttoinGrotto]

If Pitt was a person, he'd talk your ear off about how "he's just really getting in to jazz, man."

 

[OttoinGrotto]

If Pitt were a person, he'd show up at your house and check out your fridge, notice you have 4 slices of pizza leftover, ask if he can have some, and eat 3.

 

[DoubleDee]

The USA chants came while a Frenchman sat on their roster. Congrats zoo.

We should be careful here, or someone will end up offended and lecture us the same way the West Virginia football fan thread went.

If Pitt were a person, it would be the one girl you know that actually knows firsthand what a glory hole is.

Whatever that is.

 

[OttoinGrotto]

If Pitt was a person, they'd split tens/face cards.

 

[Tom K.]

If Pitt were a person, they'd always "forget" their wallet. Promising to get you back next time.

If Pitt were a person, they'd sit on park benches or public transportation and inconspicuously try to trip passersby, thinking it was funny. (Looking at you McGowen's)

 

[OttoinGrotto]

If Pitt was a person, he'd be the guy that reminds everybody that the lottery grand prize is a lot smaller once taxes are taken out.

 

[CaptainJ]

If Pitt were a TV character, she'd be Skyler from Breaking Bad.

I laughed out loud! EPIC!!! (wait, is it still legal to hate women in this PC era? I might have to delete my like and post)

 

[Orange Barrel]

If Pitt was a person, he'd be a UConn fan.

 

[OttoinGrotto]

If Pitt was a person, he'd be the guy that brings a bucket of KFC to the White Elephant gift exchange.

 

[CaptainJ]

He would be an unemployed bearded progressive living in his parent's basement.

Im going to check in a couple of hours to see if youve been banned for offending half the board.

 

[OrlandoCuse]

If Pitt was a person he’d be upset that he can’t order cube steak at Peter Luger.

But he’d sure as hell put ketchup on that prime steak

 

[MSOrange]

 

[CaptainJ]

If Pitt were a person, they'd be talking loudly (and longly...not Luke either) on their cell phone while sitting on the $ h*tter, and not have the decency of a courtesy flush for the rest of us.

 

[OrangeTown]

Pitt is the gum on the bottom of your shoe.

Can a mod move this post to the "If Pitt was an object" thread?

 

[OrangeDW]

Can a mod move this post to the "If Pitt was an object" thread?

We can work with that though: If Pitt was a person, he’d spit his gum out onto the sidewalk.

 

[longislandcuse]

If Pitt was a person..

 

[JOC44]

If Pitt was a person, it would be that middle-aged guy with a mullet who drives a convertible even though the weather sucks 10 months a year and he’s eight months behind on his mortgage.

Or basically like 90% of the people from Oswego.

 

[CaptainJ]

Can a mod move this post to the "If Pitt was an object" thread?

Man, imagine the posts in that thread!

 

[kingtidge]

Pitt is the guy that has been cutoff from girlscout cookies at work, because he took his cookies but never paid... and then claimed he paid weeks after being hounded to cough up the cash by the girscout's mom...

"I put the cash on your desk Tuesday at lunch... What, you didn't get it???"

 

[ebucklewis]

Pitt is incapable of having human qualities. But if somehow they were magically given life, they would be buying douche by the bucket load.