Jake?

[Shaggy1]

Ohhh my high school football team would sack the quarterback then go after his family.

 

[Shaggy1]

Hey you! You scratched my anchor.

 

[Shaggy1]

You’re a lot of woman...you know that? You want to make 14 dollars the hard way?

 

[Shaggy1]

Ok. So Jake. My take, we recruited over him and now he is about DE number 5. Not as fast and strong as the others, but may keep his responsibilities as well as or better than those ahead of him.

 

[FAL]

A man and his new wife make a pact to go to every Super Bowl. After 43 years the wife passes away, but the man continues their tradition and goes to the next super bowl. Another man sitting in the same row sees the empty seat next to the man and asks "why is this seat empty? It's the super bowl?" And the man replies "well it was my wife's seat but she passed away" and the other asks " well did you not want to invite anyone else?, any family?" And the man responds "I did but nobody would come with me" and the other remarks, "man that's tough your wife dies and they wouldn't come to the super bowl with you, what did they have to do that was better?" And the man says, "well her funeral was today."

 

[blizz]

Ok. So Jake. My take, we recruited over him and now he is about DE number 5. Not as fast and strong as the others, but may keep his responsibilities as well as or better than those ahead of him.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe he's been injured in the two previous fall camps. There's gotta be a little bad luck mixed in there.

 

[Shaggy1]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe he's been injured in the two previous fall camps. There's gotta be a little bad luck mixed in there.

Yes he has. But I don’t know if he cracks the two deep or not.

 

[Ringostar57]

ROTFLMAO BEST thread of the year!

 

[Cuseregular]

 

[Cuseregular]

 

[RandomGuy]

Too many good ones...

Less wife jokes
Rodney Dangerfield Funniest Jokes Ever On The Johnny Carson Show 1983 online video cutter com

 

[Orangello]

My wife was afraid of the dark... then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light.

 

[PAcuse]

Oh, this your wife, huh? A lovely lady. Hey baby, you must’ve been something before electricity.

 

[HastingsCuse]

I went to the doctor and he told me I was crazy. I told him I wanted a second opinion. He told me I was ugly too.

i get no respect

 

[Orangello]

We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations – we’re doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.

 

[OrangeXtreme]

There's a Hawaiian couple in the apartment next to me.

All night long I hear "Lou, ow. Lou, ow."

 

[Toga]

A man and his new wife make a pact to go to every Super Bowl. After 43 years the wife passes away, but the man continues their tradition and goes to the next super bowl. Another man sitting in the same row sees the empty seat next to the man and asks "why is this seat empty? It's the super bowl?" And the man replies "well it was my wife's seat but she passed away" and the other asks " well did you not want to invite anyone else?, any family?" And the man responds "I did but nobody would come with me" and the other remarks, "man that's tough your wife dies and they wouldn't come to the super bowl with you, what did they have to do that was better?" And the man says, "well her funeral was today."

 

[Jake]

Yes??

 

[orange79]

Yes??

Shocked I had to wait 40+ posts for this response.