NEW BOARD HOTTIE CHAMPIONSHIP

[tee1222]

I enjoy the fact that I could literally post a photo of the underside of my balls and tee would give me a like.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Not a chance, but since I know you're joking, still got you.

 

[jekelish]

By the way people, this poll closes in FIVE MINUTES.

So basically what I'm saying is that I welcome Elisha Cuthbert as our new board goddess and look forward to her rule.

 

[jekelish]

The voting has come to an end. We have a new Board Hottie. 31 incredibly attractive women have fallen by the wayside, with only one left standing. Ladies and gentlemen, but mostly gentlemen, without the "gentle" part because come on, you're voting for hotness so you're more like cavemen minus clubs even though we all know you'd happily wield them if you could, without further ado...the 1st Annual Syracusefan.com Board Hottie Tournament Winner IS:

 

[tee1222]

 

[jekelish]

A late entry to the tournament, Elisha Cuthbert found herself slotted as the second #2 seed, and the 6th seed overall in the tournament of 32. When the tournament committee ranked all 32 entrants into this dynamic field, Cuthbert found herself with an average ranking that tied her with 4th overall seed Lacey Chabert, as well as eventual 5th overall seed and tournament semifinalist Mila Kunis. However, as Cuthbert was not seeded higher than #4 on any of the four committee members' brackets, she lost the tiebreaker to both of the women she would eventually vault over to grasp the crown.

From the start, it appeared clear that Cuthbert was underseeded in the tournament, as she steamrolled her way to the championship. In the first round, she easily bested Syracuse women's basketball player Isabella Slim by a final score of 38-15, moving on to square off against third seeded Alice Eve.

While Eve has made a name as a perfect 10, to the extent of starring in the movie She's Out of My League in which the entire premise revolved around her insane hotness, she still proved no match for Jack Bauer's daughter. Cuthbert obliterated her competition by a score of 51-8, immediately alerting the experts that perhaps there was a sleeping giant coming from our neighbor to the north, Canada (she's Canadian, hence her love of hockey players). With her victory secured over the formidable talent of Alice Eve, Cuthbert advanced to face off (there's another hockey term!) against her region's top seed, the ludicrously endowed Lucy Pinder.

But alas, not even Pinder's enormous boobs proved to be a match for what was quickly becoming a buzzsaw in the form of a hot blonde actress whose show Happy Endings was recently cancelled amid rumors she may still get an Emmy nod for her performance. Much to the chagrin and surprise of some of the experts, including one of the committee members, Cuthbert rolled past Pinder by an eye popping score of 83-48, the widest margin of any regional championship. Her Heartbreakers Region title secured, she moved on to the Final Four, where she would meet a fellow ex-girlfriend of a professional athlete in the form of Minka Kelly.

Alas, Kelly did not stand a chance, and despite a small voter turn out, Cuthbert still managed to secure 72% of the vote, winning 18-7 to earn a spot in the championship against the woman who had earlier become the favorite to bring home the title.

In a meeting of 2-seeds who had caught fire at exactly the right time during the season, Cuthbert faced off against the heavily favored and heavily bosomed Scarlett Johansson in a winner take all battle for the first ever crown of Syracusefan.com Board Hottie Tournament Champion. On paper, it appeared to be a classic showdown, but in reality it was yet another victim to whom Cuthbert would soon lay waste, and by an overwhelming score of 26-14, Elisha Cuthbert found herself on top of a mountain of hotties, forever earning a place in Syracusefan.com lore as the first champion to take up the reins cast aside by Jennifer Love Hewitt when she got selfish and decided to get pregnant and engaged, because come on JLH, think about your horny fans.

So here is to you, Elisha Cuthbert. You earned it.


(And if this link ever decides to work it'll be funny): http://tubedubber.com/#zUhpm2V9wRg:mbK535vSpaE:0:100:0:0:1

 

[jordoo]

As far as annual voting for board hotty I like it but if we make a BCS bowl or the FF we should have to stick with the current hotty another year. Unless of course they get knocked up or married in which case they vacate there crown.

Congrats Elisha, I love my new board hotty!

 

[swish7]

This...

Eh, some of it happened quite fast. I check the board once or twice a day, or every other day. I missed the nomination process completely. It also seemed like we voted every other day, and that went by a bit fast.

Unfortunately, some attractive ladies were seeded way too low due to some strange non-hotness related rationales from a few posters. This led to some Duke v UNC matchups in the 1st round, and FGCU v Gonzaga matchups in latter rounds.

You need to expand the process to avoid this in the future.

It would be interesting to be a bit more strategic about matchups. Maybe get more diversity. Maybe treat certain types as if they are from the same league, and not match them in the 1st?

I also feel JLH should be able to defend her title. Her pregnancy doesn't make Her any more 'off the market' than she already was. Or, any less hot.

Personally, I'm not a huge fan of the straight up quasi porn stars whom were in the field.

Just my thoughts. Jekelish did a great job, and more importantly, this was a lot of fun.

 

[tee1222]

As far as annual voting for board hotty I like it but if we make a BCS bowl or the FF we should have to stick with the current hotty another year. Unless of course they get knocked up or married in which case they vacate there crown.

Congrats Elisha, I love my new board hotty!

Spot on.

 

[KingOtis]

Eh, some of it happened quite fast. I check the board once or twice a day, or every other day. I missed the nomination process completely. It also seemed like we voted every other day, and that went by a bit fast.

Unfortunately, some attractive ladies were seeded way too low due to some strange non-hotness related rationales from a few posters. This led to some Duke v UNC matchups in the 1st round, and FGCU v Gonzaga matchups in latter rounds.

You need to expand the process to avoid this in the future.

It would be interesting to be a bit more strategic about matchups. Maybe get more diversity. Maybe treat certain types as if they are from the same league, and not match them in the 1st?

I also feel JLH should be able to defend her title. Her pregnancy doesn't make Her any more 'off the market' than she already was. Or, any less hot.

Personally, I'm not a huge fan of the straight up quasi prom stars whom were in the field.

Just my thoughts. Jekelish did a great job, and more importantly, this was a lot of fun.

It doesn't really matter who faces who and in what round. In order to be the best, you've got to beat the best.

 

[jekelish]

I'm so disappointed that the link I tried to throw in there just refuses to work. In case you couldn't piece it together, it's supposed to be One Shining Moment dubbed over a highlight reel of Cuthbert hotness. So basically just watch the above clip I provided in one tab, on mute, and have One Shining Moment blaring in another tab to get the full effect.

 

[cuseattle]

Hey, tee, I still haven't hit 6000 tees. You'd better get on that, champ.

This whole "retro-Tee" is well deserved for the hottie thread alone. Also all of your other great posts. 6000 today I think.