Travel pet peeves from today's ESPN CBB blog...
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Marsh01
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I flew from Houston to Philly about 5 years ago. Was in the first row of coach (so the wall is right in front of you). I was in the middle seat and there was a big fat guy in the window seat. There was noone in the aisle seat and they were getting ready to close the doors. I was excited because I was going to move over into that seat giving me more room. At the last second a guy gets on the plane with a bag of Burger King and sits down in that seat. Low and behold it was Vanilla Ice himself. Mowing down on a double whopper and fries right in front of me.
I texted a buddy and told him who sat next to me. He said he would give me $100 if I downloaded Ice Ice Baby and changed it to my ringtone and then have him call me.
I didnt do it. Probably should have.
I texted a buddy and told him who sat next to me. He said he would give me $100 if I downloaded Ice Ice Baby and changed it to my ringtone and then have him call me.
I didnt do it. Probably should have.
T
tee1222
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Since he probably hates that song more than anyone can understand, should have done it just for payback for lack of leg and elbow room.
Guy Fawkes
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Three quick flying stories:
1. New York to New Orleans - Somebody shat themselves on the previous plane. We were delayed. Of course my girlfriend and I were in the back and it smelled like baby powder and diapers. I ask the flight attendent where it happened and she goes oh don't worry about it and that it was taken care of. I ask the guy flight attendent and he smiles and goes across from you and goes sorry that sucks we will get you a free drink.
2. Austin to Denver - Hippy older couple talking about bombs and plane crashes the entire flight. Come on people.
3. Newark to Rochester - The pilot announces he is going to take a short cut to beat an oncoming storm. A class field trip was going back home and cheered. I on the otherhand was like what the hell is a short cut. I fall asleep. I wake up to all the kids yelling and an older woman screaming grabbing my arm because of the turbulance. The rest of the flight the kids were crying.
I've been on about 20 flights and never once have used the bathroom.
1. New York to New Orleans - Somebody shat themselves on the previous plane. We were delayed. Of course my girlfriend and I were in the back and it smelled like baby powder and diapers. I ask the flight attendent where it happened and she goes oh don't worry about it and that it was taken care of. I ask the guy flight attendent and he smiles and goes across from you and goes sorry that sucks we will get you a free drink.
2. Austin to Denver - Hippy older couple talking about bombs and plane crashes the entire flight. Come on people.
3. Newark to Rochester - The pilot announces he is going to take a short cut to beat an oncoming storm. A class field trip was going back home and cheered. I on the otherhand was like what the hell is a short cut. I fall asleep. I wake up to all the kids yelling and an older woman screaming grabbing my arm because of the turbulance. The rest of the flight the kids were crying.
I've been on about 20 flights and never once have used the bathroom.
Marsh01
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I just didnt want to end up on TMZ for kicking his ass after he took a swing at me. You know for the kids sake.
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Marsh01
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Never used the can on a plane? Ive laid a ton of cable in planes. And at the dome. And a thruway rest stop. I dont even lay paper on the seat.
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The General
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When the plane lands... guy who stands up immediately, dislodges his carry on from the overhead compartment and either 1) hits me repeatedly with said bag as he impatiently waits whilst standing in the aisle or 2) puts his ass in my face as he impatiently waits whilst standing. Or both. If you are somewhere and your ass, gunt or general area is in close proximity to a man's face. Please, move your ass. At least face forward.
This guy also thinks that by immediately standing he will somehow circumvent the standard wait time and order of deplaning. He hits for the cycle if he also gets the cell phone out and immediately contacts someone to loudly inform them he just landed.
Then there is the guy who gets up and tries to make a break for the front of the plane ignoring the standard order. Those guys deserve a beating.
This guy also thinks that by immediately standing he will somehow circumvent the standard wait time and order of deplaning. He hits for the cycle if he also gets the cell phone out and immediately contacts someone to loudly inform them he just landed.
Then there is the guy who gets up and tries to make a break for the front of the plane ignoring the standard order. Those guys deserve a beating.
My Pet Peeve: When I was about 5-6 I flew first class with my mom to Italy. I spent all but 30-45 minutes quietly reading/coloring in my seat, the other 30-45 minutes I spent in the Cockpit "Flying" the plane. Still have the flight charts and stuff from the Flight Crew.
Since then I have not ONCE been invited to the Cockpit to fly the plane.
Since then I have not ONCE been invited to the Cockpit to fly the plane.
NineOneSeven
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Harold and Kumar escape from Guantanamo bay-- the flight scene is hilarious.
NineOneSeven
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My pet peeve is not being able to have my phone on during the SU/ Kansas state game in the tournament while flying to check updates, while my body goes through alcohol withdrawal after spending a week on spring break in the Bahamas, to eventually land, turn on my phone, wait for the suspenseful verdict, and in one swoop start yelling and cheering for su with my friends scattered around the plane as I receive about fifty text messages from friends texting me during the game. Oh, and jumping up and cracking my head on the ceiling bc I was window sit was the icing on the cake.
I hate when all this happens.
I hate when all this happens.
MSOrange
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l have to get hand-checked by security each time since i can't go through the metal detector. Apparently I look like the kind of guy who carries a weapons arsenal in my groin area because let's just say, I get checked very thoroughly. Particularly here in the KC airport for some reason. I don't even think I get checked that closely at the doctor's office!
Cheriehoop
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Marsh01
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Lol. ProbablyProbably why he doesn't use the can
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CuseFaninVT
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Thank you! Easily my biggest pet peeve is the people who jump up the second the pre-flight boarding is announced despite the fact they will be the last people asked to board. Move to the fricking side so I can board when I'm called. Stop jamming the place up!
Currently on a trip that started awfully as well. Boarded our flight in Burlington, pushed back and was promptly told that DC was on a hold so we would have to sit for a while. That was at 12:20 pm. We didn't take off until nearly 5. Pulled back to the gate once and were allowed to hit the restrooms and come back. At one point we were stuck there because it was snowing too hard to de-ice the plane. That sucked!
I have no problem with people standing on the moving sidewalk. Unless they are standing two by two chatting. Move over so I can at least try to make my impossibly closely timed connection.
cliftonparksufan
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I used to fly a decent amount to earn a free flight to the Caribbean about every 16 months. Now I don't and I couldn't be anymore happier since they have really cut back on the quality and quantity of flights available. Plus, some airlines don't even give out free peanuts anymore.
However, I have a few flights that stand out.
1) Back in the day, I was sitting back near the can. Before they eliminated a lot of flights, there used to be a lot of empty seats, and I would always sit in the back. Most people wanted to be towards the front, but I always wanted to be back where the flight attendents had the booze. Anyways on this one particular flight, this guy comes running back to the bathroom right as the plane starts to taxi for takeoff. The flight attendants made him sit down and sure enough he blew chow all over my leg. Fortunately the flight was only an hour but the smell was terrible.
2) Chartered jet from Buffalo to Las Vegas for Jim Kelly's bachelor party. I'm sworn to secrecy about most of the details but it was 140 guys plus a few other invited guests for three days in sin city. Needless to say, we ran out of beer and the little liquor bottles over Kansas City. Fortunately many people packed their own bottles otherwise it could have gotten pretty ugly.
3) I've shared flights with Donovan McNabb and Sherman Douglas. Also, Steven Weber from Wings. Donny and Sherm were a lot nicer than Steven Weber.
4) One time I was stuck sitting next to a Jesus freak. Now, I respect that everyone has their own beliefs but this guy was non stop from Albany to Detroit pontificating. Now, we have all "faked" sleeping, but even that didn't work.
I have other stories also, but they are all alcohol related. If you have traveled a lot you know about flight delays. Thank god for airport bars. I've spent a lot of time in there meeting a lot of interesting people.
However, I have a few flights that stand out.
1) Back in the day, I was sitting back near the can. Before they eliminated a lot of flights, there used to be a lot of empty seats, and I would always sit in the back. Most people wanted to be towards the front, but I always wanted to be back where the flight attendents had the booze. Anyways on this one particular flight, this guy comes running back to the bathroom right as the plane starts to taxi for takeoff. The flight attendants made him sit down and sure enough he blew chow all over my leg. Fortunately the flight was only an hour but the smell was terrible.
2) Chartered jet from Buffalo to Las Vegas for Jim Kelly's bachelor party. I'm sworn to secrecy about most of the details but it was 140 guys plus a few other invited guests for three days in sin city. Needless to say, we ran out of beer and the little liquor bottles over Kansas City. Fortunately many people packed their own bottles otherwise it could have gotten pretty ugly.
3) I've shared flights with Donovan McNabb and Sherman Douglas. Also, Steven Weber from Wings. Donny and Sherm were a lot nicer than Steven Weber.
4) One time I was stuck sitting next to a Jesus freak. Now, I respect that everyone has their own beliefs but this guy was non stop from Albany to Detroit pontificating. Now, we have all "faked" sleeping, but even that didn't work.
I have other stories also, but they are all alcohol related. If you have traveled a lot you know about flight delays. Thank god for airport bars. I've spent a lot of time in there meeting a lot of interesting people.
Cheriehoop
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My first flight ever was my worst. For work had to go from Syracuse to Sebree, Kentucky. Flight left Syracuse, arriving in Indianapolis only to take a puddle jumper to Evansville, Indiana and then a rental car to Sebree. Went to get my luggage in Indianapolis for the Evansville flight but was told that they had loaded it for me already (well aren’t they nice) and when I questioned to make sure, they told me my luggage was actually loaded on another plane in Syracuse so it would be waiting for me when I got to Evansville. How thoughtful – maybe a band too!
Walked across the tarmac to take this little prop plane that held about 12 people. Only 5 on our flight and the pilot with the short hanging cotton curtain on rings turns around in his seat and yells out to us that everyone needs to spread out to even out the weight, which made this newbie pretty nervous. (images of the plane flipping over if someone changed seats or moved suddenly came to mind). I silently weighed the other 4 passengers and knew that this heavy man should really be sitting on the floor midplane but he didn’t make a move to ensure our safety. I didn’t move an inch worrying I’d send us in a death spiral. Then we were delayed as they put foam down on the runway next to us for a plane that lost an engine. Watching our pilot crank his side window open to look at the scene didn’t reassure me either. (thought those windows were outdated in the 70’s even in cars). The fumes were ungodly sitting there for 75 minutes making me wish the flight was cancelled and I could walk home. So happy when we landed in Evansville but was positive the pilot was messing with us, cutting and restarting the engine while we were aloft. The engine would roar which was disconcerting but just as suddenly the engine noise would totally disappear which I realized is even more disconcerting. I imagined him chuckling behind that little curtain particularly when he told us to brace for a bouncy landing (sure now they don’t lie to me). Then getting the news that they lied and I had no luggage. Flying in jeans, blazer and sneakers wouldn’t cut it for the evening work meeting I was supposed to attend. (no shorts or flip flops I swear).
Well the airline promised to deliver my luggage by 5:30pm (landed at 2:30pm).Got my rental car, entered on the driver’s side, read the instructions, took off my blazer slinging it on the seatback of the front passenger seat, put my purse on the passenger seat and was just happy that I was safely on the ground. I went to enter onto a major highway to Kentucky accelerating quickly to merge. Suddenly my passenger side door swung totally open, my blazer flew out the door, run over by a truck and watched in my rear view mirror as my purse bounced down the highway dumping the contents on the highway. Pulled over and dodging cars and trucks, retrieved my now dirty off white blazer and most of the contents of my purse in about 8 trips to and from on the highway. Finally got to the hotel bringing my briefcase, purse, paperwork and having no more hands, I put on my blazer despite it being dirty. When I got to the desk the woman asked me what happened, I was surprised she could tell I’d been through an ordeal but figured I was arriving late and must look totally frazzled. I told her that I had a little accident when my rental car door opened unexpectantly and everything fell out of the car. She suddenly ran out from behind the desk and said do you want me to call an ambulance, asking if I was hurt badly. I was confused and embarrassed about her reaction when she pointed to my jacket, I looked and saw the tire tracks which were across part of the front and all across my back. Oops looked like I’d been run over by a semi – nope just my jacket. Great. I had to laugh though.
Since my luggage didn’t actually arrive at the hotel till 6:00am the next morning(more lies), I went to that evening work meeting totally underdressed with a polo shirt, jeans and sneakers to get a lot of good natured ribbing about my classy attire from colleagues I’d never met in person before. I love first impressions. 2 days later I opted to cancel my return puddle jumper and drive from Sebree, Kentucky to St Louis Missouri for my return flight to Syracuse. I arrived well before the plane from Evansville and was so happy I avoided that flight. I won’t bore you further and tell you what happened on the St Louis to Pittsburgh leg on the way back to Syracuse. Just let’s say I’m a nervous flyer and I think I was created not born that way.
Walked across the tarmac to take this little prop plane that held about 12 people. Only 5 on our flight and the pilot with the short hanging cotton curtain on rings turns around in his seat and yells out to us that everyone needs to spread out to even out the weight, which made this newbie pretty nervous. (images of the plane flipping over if someone changed seats or moved suddenly came to mind). I silently weighed the other 4 passengers and knew that this heavy man should really be sitting on the floor midplane but he didn’t make a move to ensure our safety. I didn’t move an inch worrying I’d send us in a death spiral. Then we were delayed as they put foam down on the runway next to us for a plane that lost an engine. Watching our pilot crank his side window open to look at the scene didn’t reassure me either. (thought those windows were outdated in the 70’s even in cars). The fumes were ungodly sitting there for 75 minutes making me wish the flight was cancelled and I could walk home. So happy when we landed in Evansville but was positive the pilot was messing with us, cutting and restarting the engine while we were aloft. The engine would roar which was disconcerting but just as suddenly the engine noise would totally disappear which I realized is even more disconcerting. I imagined him chuckling behind that little curtain particularly when he told us to brace for a bouncy landing (sure now they don’t lie to me). Then getting the news that they lied and I had no luggage. Flying in jeans, blazer and sneakers wouldn’t cut it for the evening work meeting I was supposed to attend. (no shorts or flip flops I swear).
Well the airline promised to deliver my luggage by 5:30pm (landed at 2:30pm).Got my rental car, entered on the driver’s side, read the instructions, took off my blazer slinging it on the seatback of the front passenger seat, put my purse on the passenger seat and was just happy that I was safely on the ground. I went to enter onto a major highway to Kentucky accelerating quickly to merge. Suddenly my passenger side door swung totally open, my blazer flew out the door, run over by a truck and watched in my rear view mirror as my purse bounced down the highway dumping the contents on the highway. Pulled over and dodging cars and trucks, retrieved my now dirty off white blazer and most of the contents of my purse in about 8 trips to and from on the highway. Finally got to the hotel bringing my briefcase, purse, paperwork and having no more hands, I put on my blazer despite it being dirty. When I got to the desk the woman asked me what happened, I was surprised she could tell I’d been through an ordeal but figured I was arriving late and must look totally frazzled. I told her that I had a little accident when my rental car door opened unexpectantly and everything fell out of the car. She suddenly ran out from behind the desk and said do you want me to call an ambulance, asking if I was hurt badly. I was confused and embarrassed about her reaction when she pointed to my jacket, I looked and saw the tire tracks which were across part of the front and all across my back. Oops looked like I’d been run over by a semi – nope just my jacket. Great. I had to laugh though.
Since my luggage didn’t actually arrive at the hotel till 6:00am the next morning(more lies), I went to that evening work meeting totally underdressed with a polo shirt, jeans and sneakers to get a lot of good natured ribbing about my classy attire from colleagues I’d never met in person before. I love first impressions. 2 days later I opted to cancel my return puddle jumper and drive from Sebree, Kentucky to St Louis Missouri for my return flight to Syracuse. I arrived well before the plane from Evansville and was so happy I avoided that flight. I won’t bore you further and tell you what happened on the St Louis to Pittsburgh leg on the way back to Syracuse. Just let’s say I’m a nervous flyer and I think I was created not born that way.
Todd Gack
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This.
cto
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Cherie's post reminds me of my worst flight. I was flying from a conference in Phoenix to New York via Chicago. Our noon light was delayed for several hours in Phoenix because of weather in Chicago. Some passengers got, shall we say, quite lubricated. We finally get on plane. I am sitting next to a huge guy wearing a cowboy hat. He is very drunk. While still on ground in Phoenix, he literally starts to maul me. I loudly protest. Guy in row in front of us (whom I knew) ... gets up, turns around, and tells the "cowboy" to stop. Cowboy takes a swing at guy in front of him... and fisticuffs break out. Fight attendants call security, and armed security people come onto plane to take the guy away. ....As he leaves, he has some fairly ugly, very loud, expletives for me
Plane eventually takes off for Chi, arriving there way after midnight. Crew has exceeded its legal hours, so United has to call in another crew, which takes forever to arrive. However the new crew is not certified to fly whatever plane we are on. So they have to call in another kind of plane... and we all have to transfer to it. Since it is another plane, seat assignments do not make sense, but we cope as best we could. We finally take off for New York. We arrive at LaGuardia at about 5 a.m -- about 17 hours after we were supposed to leave Phoenix. The only other living creatures in the airport are about a dozen lobsters in a big lobster tank. I have this compulsive urge to liberate them...feeling that they too should get out of their airline/airport captivity.
Plane eventually takes off for Chi, arriving there way after midnight. Crew has exceeded its legal hours, so United has to call in another crew, which takes forever to arrive. However the new crew is not certified to fly whatever plane we are on. So they have to call in another kind of plane... and we all have to transfer to it. Since it is another plane, seat assignments do not make sense, but we cope as best we could. We finally take off for New York. We arrive at LaGuardia at about 5 a.m -- about 17 hours after we were supposed to leave Phoenix. The only other living creatures in the airport are about a dozen lobsters in a big lobster tank. I have this compulsive urge to liberate them...feeling that they too should get out of their airline/airport captivity.
cliftonparksufan
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Well I can't match Cherie's stories, but I did think of two other memorable flights. One time I was living in Rochester but working in Burlington, VT. Instead of driving home for the weekend, I flew home. On my flight back to Burlington, I swear this was my itinerary: Rochester to Binghamton to White Plains to Utica to Lake Placid to Burlington. The flight took nine hours and the only time I had to switch planes was in Binghamton. This was in the mid 80's but i'm not sure that Binghamton and Utica still do commercial flights.
Another memorable flight was from the island of St. Kitts to the island of Nevis on Nevis Express airlines. The entire flight was seven minutes long and it was a two seater plane. I got to sit up from with the pilot (who looked like he was 14 years old) and my wife got to sit in the back on our luggage. We made our quick flight which was incredible and we land in Nevis. These guys come out to our plane and we have to step off onto a milk crate. This was in the late 90's and their "airport" was a shack. This was our first trip to Nevis and we have since been back four other times but we didn't know what to expect then. Well, later that week, our hotel we were staying at had the Nevis Honeybees string band playing in the bar. Needless to say, the band consisted of the guys who "worked" at the airport who helped us down from our plane and the instruments they played were all of the homemade jug band type. It was quite entertaining.
Another memorable flight was from the island of St. Kitts to the island of Nevis on Nevis Express airlines. The entire flight was seven minutes long and it was a two seater plane. I got to sit up from with the pilot (who looked like he was 14 years old) and my wife got to sit in the back on our luggage. We made our quick flight which was incredible and we land in Nevis. These guys come out to our plane and we have to step off onto a milk crate. This was in the late 90's and their "airport" was a shack. This was our first trip to Nevis and we have since been back four other times but we didn't know what to expect then. Well, later that week, our hotel we were staying at had the Nevis Honeybees string band playing in the bar. Needless to say, the band consisted of the guys who "worked" at the airport who helped us down from our plane and the instruments they played were all of the homemade jug band type. It was quite entertaining.
T
tee1222
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My honeymoon night, instead of being in Lake Tahoe for our first night "together" as a married couple, we were stuck in Chicago's airport for the night! Just missed the connecting flight and we asked nicely if we could move up to the front of the plane when getting off as we had to transfer. "It's our honeymoon, have a heart, etc" to be followed by "Sorry, sir no exceptions". Coincidentally, flying back home, they let anyone with a connecting flight to the front of the line when getting off the plane at Chicago.
Honeymoon night mind you.
Honeymoon night mind you.
Eric15
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Holy crap - I literally go 2 or 3 layers of toilet paper deep when building a nest on a public toilet seat.
MyMeloMyMan
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Quick funny story... Had a flight recently to Bangalore, India via Paris France. Ended up near the douche of the month, taking forever with his bags, repeatedly asking the flight attendants for water pre flight...making a fuss over every little thing. Mid way through the flight, he wakes from a nap...gets up..doesnt put his shoes on..and walks to the bathroom which is essentially just a urine soaked floor at this point...
Comes back out...takes wet socks off and puts them in his bag in the overhead. He was sockless for the rest of the flight.
Why the hell would you go to an airplane bathroom in your socks? On a huge 777 where the bathrooms are in use constantly. Ever look at the floor?
Comes back out...takes wet socks off and puts them in his bag in the overhead. He was sockless for the rest of the flight.
Why the hell would you go to an airplane bathroom in your socks? On a huge 777 where the bathrooms are in use constantly. Ever look at the floor?
Marsh01
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I certainly clean the seat off. I just hate having to rip off paper and then sit on the paper (which ultimately ends up happening is it gets caught in my pants and I have it hanging out the back)
IthacaBarrel
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AT my age there are two types of flights, those with my kids and those without, my kids are 4,7,9... When I fly with my wife or just myself not much gets to me... (, reading, couple pops whatever, work, whatever, I actually love having 2-4 hours with nobody -ing bothering me don't care that it's on an airplane.
With my kids, who are actually quite good all bets are off, smelly fate dude always pisses me off, parents with very poorly behave kids, guy trying to jam a small city under the seat... People who insist on telling you their life story on a plane. I never wear anything Syracuse, team related, company related on a plane.. people love to start yapping.
Fat people in nylong sweatpants piss me off too, no idea why. I also hate people flying in shorts back to or coming from 10 degree temps. I must say after the USF Game this year football, I was so hungover that I had to fly in shorts, zero time to change, just made the flight
With my kids, who are actually quite good all bets are off, smelly fate dude always pisses me off, parents with very poorly behave kids, guy trying to jam a small city under the seat... People who insist on telling you their life story on a plane. I never wear anything Syracuse, team related, company related on a plane.. people love to start yapping.
Fat people in nylong sweatpants piss me off too, no idea why. I also hate people flying in shorts back to or coming from 10 degree temps. I must say after the USF Game this year football, I was so hungover that I had to fly in shorts, zero time to change, just made the flight
