Anyone who's played sports at just about any level knows one fundamental fact: The coach doesn't waste his time on players he doesn't think can improve. As a player, you're taught very young that if you're not playing and the coach isn't on you, it's time to worry because he doesn't think you can help the team. The coach's kiss of death to a player is ignoring him. Now, if you're playing all the time and not hearing it from the coach--Ennis last year--that's one thing, but sitting and getting ignored, well, either you might want to find another line of work, or the message is you're on your own to get better.
The fact that Boeheim is on BJ means he thinks the player has much, much, much more in him than he's currently showing. It's a good thing and all the other stuff about yelling at him in public, calling out players in press conferences, blah, blah, really is pretty silly. The point is, does the coach think the player can get better? If he does, the player gets the coach's attention, in whatever delivery format. If not, he doesn't. As for the delivery, if the player can't get used to hearing the message while dispensing with the format, he's got a huge problem because it doesn't get any easier at the higher levels, whether it's playing ball or holding down a job. Anyone who's played or had to hang in there with a tough boss knows that. Bosses typically don't yell at you anymore but they're not usually your friends and you'd better be ready to hear stuff from them you may not like.
Most of you seem to think of the coaching relationship as one of parent to child--it's got nothing, as in absolutely nothing, to do with that. The coach isn't your friend, he's not your mommy or daddy, he's the coach and his job is to get the most out of you he thinks is there. With BJ, obviously Boeheim believes he's got a lot there. Many kudos to BJ's dad, who obviously fully understands how this stuff works.
