How to handle the Uber negative fan sitting next to you

[bballbeadle]

Reading this thread is interesting in that it makes you examine your own behavior a bit.

Me personally, I now question how funny my constant berating of my least favorite Buffalo Sabre (Derek Roy) was. I would yell witty retorts like:

“Hit him with your purse, Roy!”
“Sure you’d rather be out clubbing right now but get in the game!”
“How deep is your V-Neck T-shirt tonight, Roy?”
“Can you at least pretend to play physically?”
“Much rather be on Chippewa I see, huh?”

But I digress. And I also think there’s a difference between getting on paid professionals and getting on college student athletes. As such, I would not participate in harassing college players (too much haha).

As far as what can be done in this situation...agree with others who say it’s a tricky situation, as people are generally entitled to express their fandom as they see fit (within reason).

First I might try to get through to him with some humor. Something like:

“Hey, did Chukwu get that restraining order against you yet?” or maybe

“Hope you don’t mind, but in interest of fairness I informed Paschal about the pickup basketball games you play in every Friday night at the Y. He’ll be showing up to “support” you.” or maybe

“You ever feel bad picking on a guy who is playing ball in a foreign country half ways around world from his native Nigeria...hasn’t seen his biological parents since he left years ago...and yet is a nice, personable young man?”

“Too bad it was his eyes that required 3 surgeries last year instead of his ears in hopes Paschal wouldn’t have to listen to your garbage attitude.”

Or if all else fails try this last one:

“I’m sorry, but maybe you weren’t here when the greater Syracuse Community concluded that Paschal Chukwu is above criticism ever since this happened:”


Good luck! Let us know if you use any of our suggestions haha

I loved your responses! The restraining order will be the first thing I try out. Reminding him of the eye surgeries (and perhaps that even now he may be struggling with a groin injury) is also good.

When the kid traded places with his dad, it put him right next to a 12 year old girl and her mother who drive 45 minutes one way to get to the games, and they’ve been coming for at least four years. When I have the opportunity, I would like to tell this kid and his father that the stream of derogatory comments has a negative impact on everyone around them, and if he doesn’t care about us, maybe he would care about this girl (who is a joy at every game - last game had a Santa hat and light bulb necklace and got on the Fan Can twice).

This kid also made a gay slur during one of our first games. I didn’t hear it but I was told of it.

His father is doing him no favors in indulging him.

I will definitely give the board updates, especially since we all may need to contemplate our fandom and how we express ourselves as we try to support our team this year.

 

[bballbeadle]

Can speak from the football point of view it’s pretty fun to get on the negative nellies these days so just wait till our hoops team starts winning again and rub it in their faces !

Okay, you are talking about the people on this board who feel discouraged and disappointed about our team? They are negative nellies? And you are going to “rub it in their faces” when we start playing WELL? Again, you are talking about your fellow board members?

I don’t think I read you right.

 

[OburgOrange]

Yeah. I don’t know how old you are or if you have kids old enough to play but the behavior is outrageous and getting worse.

For years, I let it go. And after 15 years of both coaching, and watching, my kids play a wide variety of sports, I just got so sick and tired of it that I don’t let it go anymore. And I could care less if you are rooting for the other team, or our team.

I could tell you stories that would make your head spin for a month.

My son’s freshman hoops team had a scrimmage last weekend, not a game, a scrimmage.

The best player on the other team and the guy from our team guarding him were giving each other the business all game.

With about 2 mins to go in the game, the father of the kid on the other team stands up and screams, “If he elbows you more time, you have my permission to clock him.”

Fortunately, the opposing coach had the good sense to immediately take the kid out of the game so nothing happened on the court. But you cannot let some one like that get away with that type of behavior.

And, btw, that is one of the tamer stories.

Threats of legal action, actual legal action over playing time, screaming at coaches, refs and players as young as 5 and 6 years old, fights among coaches, fights among parents...I’ve seen it all.

It is disgusting.

I coached minor hockey when my son was playing. Worst decision ever. Parents only focused on their kid and how was I going to get them to the NHL. The best team of kids to coach is a team of orphans.

 

[cto]

Red wine works. No one wants to sit next to a klutz who spills red wine on them. Get them focused on trying to remove red wine from their clothing. They will take their anger out on you.. and leave the kids alone.

And if they get too abusive with you, remind them that your neurological disease is protected by the Americans with Disabilities Act. They will never want to sit next to you again

 

[CanadianSU]

Okay, you are talking about the people on this board who feel discouraged and disappointed about our team? They are negative nellies? And you are going to “rub it in their faces” when we start playing WELL? Again, you are talking about your fellow board members?

I don’t think I read you right.

No the people that constantly yell behind you. Wait till a big win and give a simple turn around and say like “see” that’ll quiet them down (maybe)

 

[Ajflood12]

Okay, friends. I have a problem. A father/son duo have new season tickets and sit to my right. Kid is 17 and I think played football. This kid (and to a lesser extent his dad) yell negative things about individual players and the team non-stop. My daughter and six people sitting in front of us are all sick of it. I tried kidding the kid about his negativity but that didn’t really work.

I have thought about talking to his dad privately. I have thought about addressing it more seriously with the son. So, my fellow fans, tell me true. How would you handle this problem? Our season may be difficult enough without Hekyl and Jekyl screaming invective at the team. I await your responses with interest.

No idea what you should do but if you are not into the yelling obnoxious fans ...steer clear of the St. Bonaventure game. Game was nuts last year.

 

[tbonezone]

and when you've exhausted all avenues of diplomacy just tape a shiv under the pee trough .

 

[ForCuseSake]

If sitting next to the father...

Gesture toward the son during one of his tantrums and say to dad, “He must take after his mother.”

If sitting next to the son...

Lean over him and say the same thing to his dad.

 

[bballbeadle]

No the people that constantly yell behind you. Wait till a big win and give a simple turn around and say like “see” that’ll quiet them down (maybe)

Ahhhhhh. I see! I apologize I for my snark, my friend. I’m getting a little twitchy! I like your suggestion. This would require us to win, of course.

 

[bballbeadle]

Red wine works. No one wants to sit next to a klutz who spills red wine on them. Get them focused on trying to remove red wine from their clothing. They will take their anger out on you.. and leave the kids alone.

And if they get too abusive with you, remind them that your neurological disease is protected by the Americans with Disabilities Act. They will never want to sit next to you again

HA HA HA HA! This is the first year they have bought season tickets. Between me and the team, it may be their last!

 

[OrangeDW]

i say go this route:

 

[CaptainJ]

Okay, friends. I have a problem. A father/son duo have new season tickets and sit to my right. Kid is 17 and I think played football. This kid (and to a lesser extent his dad) yell negative things about individual players and the team non-stop. My daughter and six people sitting in front of us are all sick of it. I tried kidding the kid about his negativity but that didn’t really work.

I have thought about talking to his dad privately. I have thought about addressing it more seriously with the son. So, my fellow fans, tell me true. How would you handle this problem? Our season may be difficult enough without Hekyl and Jekyl screaming invective at the team. I await your responses with interest.

Imitating that female Indiana fan might get them to stop. You'd just have to hope this board wouldnt shame you and make a national story out of you. Either way, wear gear from the other team if you decide to do that.

 

[cuseattle]

Imitating that female Indiana fan might get them to stop. You'd just have to hope this board wouldnt shame you and make a national story out of you. Either way, wear gear from the other team if you decide to do that.

So, you're encouraging Beadle to go all underwear?

 

[CaptainJ]

So, you're encouraging Beadle to go all underwear?

Not to arrive like that, but to remove or partly remove an item each time the kid hits a predetermined amount of comments. Just wear many items to mix it up, in case the kid is a bit slow to understand the correlation to his comments. For all I know, the Indiana fan could have been trying to shut up some loudmouthed fans as well.

 

[AirForceOrange]

Tell him you know someone (CTO) that can get him/them a meet and greet with the team and coaches where he/they can personally tell the team and coaches how they feel about them...to their face.

Something along the lines of: "I have a good friend who personally knows the coaches and players. Let me talk to her and I bet she can get you a personal meet and greet with them and everything you have been saying from the comfort of your seat you can say to their faces."

 

[CusefanATL]

Not to arrive like that, but to remove or partly remove an item each time the kid hits a predetermined amount of comments. Just wear many items to mix it up, in case the kid is a bit slow to understand the correlation to his comments. For all I know, the Indiana fan could have been trying to shut up some loudmouthed fans as well.

this has taken quite the turn. I now fully believe that is what indiana girl was going. absolute fact.

 

[CusefanATL]

Not to arrive like that, but to remove or partly remove an item each time the kid hits a predetermined amount of comments. Just wear many items to mix it up, in case the kid is a bit slow to understand the correlation to his comments. For all I know, the Indiana fan could have been trying to shut up some loudmouthed fans as well.

also... i may need to try to be a loudmouth with my wife tonight

 

[bballbeadle]

Tell him you know someone (CTO) that can get him/them a meet and greet with the team and coaches where he/they can personally tell the team and coaches how they feel about them...to their face.

Something along the lines of: "I have a good friend who personally knows the coaches and players. Let me talk to her and I bet she can get you a personal meet and greet with them and everything you have been saying from the comfort of your seat you can say to their faces."

I would say that only if CTO would get ME a meet & greet with the team! Ha ha!

 

[bballbeadle]

Not to arrive like that, but to remove or partly remove an item each time the kid hits a predetermined amount of comments. Just wear many items to mix it up, in case the kid is a bit slow to understand the correlation to his comments. For all I know, the Indiana fan could have been trying to shut up some loudmouthed fans as well.

Captain, how good for you to return and comment on this “bad energy” thread! I am grinning from ear to ear because of all of the creative suggestions. Really, friends, you have outdone yourselves! It’s good to have some fun during this hopefully short time of team instability.

 

[kirbivore]

try this

 

[bballbeadle]

Okay, I have a fun update. When we first arrived there were a lot of empty seats. Father and son not there yet. A fan came over to me from further down Row B and I didn’t realize it was Weedsport Warrior! Once we got that straightened out, we had some fun discussing my strategy. Eventually the place began filling up and just before the national anthem here comes the kid . . . . With his mother!

So everything changed. It was hilarious! This woman was in charge of her son (let’s call him Nick) from the get go. She was very gentle but every single time he complained (much more softly) she chided him: “Okay, now, calm down. Be more positive,” etc. And at the very beginning when Chukwu didn’t start, Nick leaned over to me and said, “He’s not starting!” I said, “Yeah, um, did he take that restraining order out on you yet?” Now, Nick thought that was really funny and he laughed merrily. Ho ho ho! And in the second half, he acknowledged Chukwu was having a good game. He clapped and cheered, but it was also true that he had a complaint after almost every play, and every single time he complained, his mom called him on it. When we were getting on our coats at the very end, I whispered in her ear, “Good job with your kid,” and she said, “Thank you.” Dad! You’re on notice.

The mom was sitting in between us, but Nick made eye contact with me, smiled, and talked to me throughout the game. He obviously was unaware of how ticked off at him I and others have gotten. He is probably the kind of person who doesn’t notice things like that. If there are any more interesting interactions, I’ll give an update.

Thanks to everyone for making this a fun thread! I do believe we’ll need all the fun we can get this season.

 

[Halfmooncuse]

Get there earlier before next game and leave a note on his seat which is appropriately worded and ask for his understanding. Hopefully he won’t know that you were the author and you will mitigate the possibility of him taken offense and aggravating the situation.if that doesn’t work get some freshly brewed dog poop and coat their seats!

 

[bballbeadle]

Get there earlier before next game and leave a note on his seat which is appropriately worded and ask for his understanding. Hopefully he won’t know that you were the author and you will mitigate the possibility of him taken offense and aggravating the situation.if that doesn’t work get some freshly brewed dog poop and coat their seats!

I think things might be a little better now, but if not, I’ll - - um - - keep that in mind?

 

[ClamOtto]

I feel for you. Glad it seems to be getting better. At the Elite 8 in DC in 2013 there were a couple of "SU fans" behind us who spent the whole game screaming at and insulting the players, especially Rak. Finally my wife couldn't take it anymore and turned to them during a time out and said "you know, you're screaming at teenagers. We work at SU and see these kids all the time going to class and walking around campus. They're college students, not professional athletes." To my complete and utter amazement, one of the guys responded by saying "oh, I guess I never really thought of it like that. That's a good point." And they didn't insult them the rest of the game! Winning by 16 and going to the Final Four might have had something to do with that, but still...

 

[rrlbees]

I feel for you. Glad it seems to be getting better. At the Elite 8 in DC in 2013 there were a couple of "SU fans" behind us who spent the whole game screaming at and insulting the players, especially Rak. Finally my wife couldn't take it anymore and turned to them during a time out and said "you know, you're screaming at teenagers. We work at SU and see these kids all the time going to class and walking around campus. They're college students, not professional athletes." To my complete and utter amazement, one of the guys responded by saying "oh, I guess I never really thought of it like that. That's a good point." And they didn't insult them the rest of the game! Winning by 16 and going to the Final Four might have had something to do with that, but still...

I think those guys post here.