"Breaking news from the Noel bathroom, we go back live to Mark Schwartz. Mark, what's happening now?"
"Bob, things have taken a horrific turn here. It's really, truly disturbing. As I went in for a closer look, I dropped the microphone, and when I reached to pick it up, I mistook the log for the microphone. I'll never be the same again, Bob. It's truly awful, what Nerlens Noel has done to this community with such an atrocity left steaming in this toilet bowl."
"Tragic stuff, Mark, we thank you and God speed."