If Pitt was a person...

[OrangeDW]

Pitt takes the “good” shower in the gym locker room and blows snot rockets, coughs, groans, burps, and farts the whole time he’s in there.

 

[OrangeDW]

Pitt goes to his kid’s junior high basketball game and yells “box out!!!” to his kid’s team before every single free throw attempt all game long, and feels good that he imparted his genius wisdom on everybody.

 

[orange79]

Pitt takes the “good” shower in the gym locker room and blows snot rockets, coughs, groans, burps, and farts the whole time he’s in there.

It's all pipes!

 

[OttoinGrotto]

If Pitt was a person, they'd order nachos at the concession stand and when the server tells them they're lucky because they're almost out they then say "You know what then? Let's make it 3."

 

[Eric15]

Pitt is an adult whose resume is in the font Comic Sans. And on the resume they list the elementary and middle school they attended.

 

[OttoinGrotto]

Pitt says they "just need to run into Target for a quick errand" and comes out with two shopping carts and $400 worth of retail therapy.

 

[Eric15]

Pitt says they "just need to run into Target for a quick errand" and comes out with two shopping carts and $400 worth of retail therapy.

In fairness to Pitt that is literally every person who has ever went to Target in human history.

 

[OttoinGrotto]

In fairness to Pitt that is literally every person who has ever went to Target in human history.

Yeah well this thread isn't about fairness to Pitt, is it?

 

[orangefog]

In fairness to Pitt that is literally every person who has ever went to Target in human history.

Yeah, but PITT clears out the Magnolia section.

 

[W'boro'Cuse315]

Pitt borrows your lighter...permanently.

 

[OttoinGrotto]

If Pitt was a person, they would have the courtesy to replace the toilet paper roll.

But they'd put it on backwards.

 

[orangemass]

Pitt funks a restaurant bathroom to the point where u enter and turn around and say I’m good. I’ll hold it.

 

[dollarbill44]

Pitt's the guy that asks a full elevator to hold the door, gets in, farts and then gets out on the 2nd floor.

 

[Eric15]

Pitt is that person who cheers when the plane lands. And it's a one-hour-long domestic flight.

 

[OrangeDW]

Pitt is that person who cheers when the plane lands. And it's a one-hour-long domestic flight.

Pitt is standing up in the aisle trying cut ahead of people as soon as the plane stops, because they think they’re the only person on the plane who has to hurry to make their connecting flight.

 

[orange79]

Making fun of Pitt is all well and good, but you'd better lock up your women.

 

[dollarbill44]

Pitt is standing up in the aisle trying cut ahead of people as soon as the plane stops, because they think they’re the only person on the plane who has to hurry to make their connecting flight.

Pitt is the guy who puts his carryon in the first compartment and then takes his seat in the last row.

 

[Trueblue25]

Pitt tried to talk you into nft’s

 

[HOFCeluck]

Pitt tried to talk you into nft’s

Pitt thinks this whole thing with SBF is a “big misunderstanding.”

 

[HOFCeluck]

If Pitt was a person he’d show you some YouTube videos about WTC 7 thatll “change everything you think you know.”

 

[Trueblue25]

Its Pitt calling, and he wants to speak to you about your car’s extended warranty

 

[sutomcat]

Pitt is the guy who wears white pants to a party and sharts.

When Pitt wants to impress, he wears a white belt and white shoes with purple pants and a pink dress shirt. The shirt is only buttoned halfway up. It has a mustard stain and appears to never have been ironed.

Pitt has a toupee and thinks no one knows.

Pitt is always the first guy out in dodgeball. He gets hit in the head every time.

The first time Pitt had a drink, it was a concert where tickets cost a small fortune. He chugged his drink, turned blue and passed out. Was rushed to the emergency room and missed the whole thing.

Pitt was not much of an athlete, but once in gym class, some of the kids convinced him to try and dunk. He went all in for it and lost a testicle to testical torsion.

One time Pitt was driving and started feeling really sick. He was on the highway and couldn’t pull off the road. Ended up vomiting but kept his mouth shut and swallowed it all. Then it came back with twice the force and totaled his car.

 

[Brooky03]

Pitt is a middle aged balding man who wears a basketball jersey, with no undershirt, and his best jean shorts to formal events.

 

[Orangezoo]

Making fun of Pitt is all well and good, but you'd better lock up your women.

I don't see Lexington Steele donning a Pitt Jersey...

 

[OttoinGrotto]

If Pitt was a person they'd exclusively wear grey sweatpants.