If Pitt was a person...

[OttoinGrotto]

Pitt thinks their kid deserves more playing time.

 

[Eric15]

Pitt is the only person left on both AOL Instant Messenger and MySpace.

 

[OttoinGrotto]

Pitt is really excited that you left out a dish full of the little Hershey's variety bars.

But not excited enough to throw the wrappers away.

They're content putting the wrappers back in the dish.

 

[OrangeDW]

Pitt is the only person left on both AOL Instant Messenger and MySpace.

Pitt still has a profane default away message and “deep” song lyrics in his AIM profile.

 

[OrangeDW]

Pitt is really excited that you left out a dish full of the little Hershey's variety bars.

But not excited enough to throw the wrappers away.

They're content putting the wrappers back in the dish.

Pitt won’t eat the dark chocolate or Mr. Goodbar, so he thinks that entitles him to eating all of the regular Hersheys and Krackles.

 

[OttoinGrotto]

Pitt hurt your ankles when they slammed their shopping cart into you on Black Friday.

 

[OttoinGrotto]

Pitt won’t eat the dark chocolate or Mr. Goodbar, so he thinks that entitles him to eating all of the regular Hersheys and Krackles.

I humbly submit that Mr. Goodbar is the true gem of that assortment.

 

[OrangeDW]

Pitt yells at his kid’s 6th grade teammates to “MOVE!” when they’re playing against a packed in 2-3 zone.

Move where? And why? He doesn’t know. But he thinks you’re always supposed to MOVE, so that’s what he’s screaming on every possesion.

 

[OrangeDW]

I humbly submit that Mr. Goodbar is the true gem of that assortment.

Agreed. But Pitt….his taste buds are less refined.

 

[OttoinGrotto]

There's a mysterious trend on Pitt's LinkedIn profile where the job titles on his past companies and positions get higher and higher as management brings on new leadership.

 

[OrangeDW]

Pitt shows up to a backyard fire with his BS guitar and claims he’s been “learning some Dave”, and keeps trying to hack away at that thing and expects everyone to stop their convos and pay attention to him.

 

[OttoinGrotto]

If Pitt were a person, they'd talk all the time about how they love Indian food, and then when you go out to eat at the new Indian place they order tikka and naan.

 

[cuse62]

Pitt is the guy, while at a buffet, picks something up sniffs it and puts it back.

 

[OrangeDW]

Pitt screams “THREE SECOOOOONDS!” at high school bball refs 35 times a game.

 

[W'boro'Cuse315]

Pitt doesn’t make even the slightest attempt at stomping or wiping any snow off their boots before entering an establishment or your vehicle.

 

[W'boro'Cuse315]

Pitt is the guy, while at a buffet, picks something up sniffs it and puts it back.

Also picks the Hershey’s Kisses off the top of the cookie in the homemade holiday assortment...leaving the cookie.

 

[OrangeDW]

Pitt doesn’t make even the slightest attempt at stomping or wiping any snow off their boots before entering an establishment or your vehicle.

Pitt doesn’t have a window scraper/brush in his car for the first 6 weeks of winter - he just rolls the windows down and back up, turns the wipers on, and hunches over while he drives to see through the 10% of the windshield that isn’t covered in ice/frost.

 

[Ragman2000]

Pitt asks you if you've ever seen the "Big Bang theory" and insists that you watch it with them because it's so hilarious and watches you quizzically the whole time wondering why you're not laughing. "That's funny right? OmG tHaT sHeLdOn!" Pitt will exclaim as you nervously look at your phone looking for an escape hatch.

 

[W'boro'Cuse315]

Pitt asks you if you've ever seen the "Big Bang theory" and insists that you watch it with them because it's so hilarious and watches you quizzically the whole time wondering why you're not laughing. "That's funny right? OmG tHaT sHeLdOn!" Pitt will exclaim as you nervously look at your phone looking for an escape hatch.

They’ll claim you’re not laughing because you don’t understand the science references.

 

[br801]

Pitt is the cashier who stares at you blankly and can't figure out how much change you have coming back until you finally tell them.

 

[W'boro'Cuse315]

Pitt has a “Coexist” bumper sticker & parks crooked taking up 2 spaces.

 

[Toga]

 

[tptcuse]

Pitt puts "Re (2):" in the subject line of his marketing email blasts to make you think a conversation already exists.

 

[tptcuse]

Pitt texts, "Sorry to bother you at home, but..."

 

[W'boro'Cuse315]

Pitt spits out their chewing gum in the sink of a public restroom.