If Pitt was a person... | Page 16 | Syracusefan.com

If Pitt was a person...

I don't see Lexington Steele donning a Pitt Jersey...
Damn, dude. Lower left. For the sake of the white guys in the team showers I hope that’s his hand in his pocket.
 
Pitt shovels his driveway in this jacket purchased in 1992.

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If Pitt were a person, JohnSyracuse would know who he was, kick his ass, then disappear, quietly.

If Pitt were a person he would repeatedly ask you, “now, which one was Keyzer Soza.”

If Pitt were a person, he would say that West Virginia Barbie wasn’t hot, but Indiana underwear girl was smoking’.

If Pitt were a person, this commercial would be autobiographical.

 
If Pitt was a person he would make fun of all woman athletes and claim he could easily beat them at their sport, even though he’s now 30 pounds overweight and 20 years ago only got in on special teams here and there in Class C football.
If Pitt were a person, he would claim Joe Girard is an intramural level athlete who can’t grab the rim.
 
If Pitt was a person, he’d post the following as his Facebook status update:

“To regain friends in your news feed and get rid of ads- hold your finger anywhere in this post and click ‘copy’. Go to your page where it says “what’s on your mind?” Tap your finger anywhere in the blank field. Click paste. This upgrades the system. Hello new and old friends!”
 
If Pitt was a person, he’d post the following as his Facebook status update:

“To regain friends in your news feed and get rid of ads- hold your finger anywhere in this post and click ‘copy’. Go to your page where it says “what’s on your mind?” Tap your finger anywhere in the blank field. Click paste. This upgrades the system. Hello new and old friends!”
Pitt loves reminiscing on Facebook about how much better things were in the 1950s when there weren’t annoying things like seat belt laws and restrictions on lead paint.
 
Pitt checks out with 30+ items in the 10 items or less line at the grocery store, asks the cashier to grab a couple packs of Pall Mall cigarettes from behind the front desk for him, and pays for it all with a check that he's writing out with a pen that's running out of ink
 
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