If Pitt was a person... | Page 18 | Syracusefan.com

If Pitt was a person...

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Who’s the guy who just won the senate race?

That’s Pitt.

Successful for no apparent reason
 
Pitt is the dude who pees with the seat down. And has lousy sim.

Pitt thinks it’s fun to leave a li’l som’n in the elevator when she leaves it.

Pitt filed a suit to disallow student loan forgiveness.

Pitt thinks Jamie Dixon was like the greatest ever.
 
Pitt is the guy who doesn’t understand why the “Endless Mountains Region” road sign in Pennsylvania is oxymoronic.
 
If Pitt was a guy he’d be Paul Reiser from Diner, Part I.
 
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If Pitt was a person, he’d be Paul Reiser from Diner, Part II:
 
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If Pitt was a person he'd be the guy driving 85 in the passing lane and then slow down at your blind spot and stay there until you get to PA and the lane is about to close...stays there and forces you to stop and you have to wait for 30 cars to go by before you can get into the open lane.
 
If Pitt was a person he'd be the guy driving 85 in the passing lane and then slow down at your blind spot and stay there until you get to PA and the lane is about to close...stays there and forces you to stop and you have to wait for 30 cars to go by before you can get into the open lane.
That's very specific.
 
Pitt doesn’t have a window scraper/brush in his car for the first 6 weeks of winter - he just rolls the windows down and back up, turns the wipers on, and hunches over while he drives to see through the 10% of the windshield that isn’t covered in ice/frost.

So Pitt’s like 85% of people in Syracuse? Got it.
 
Pitt still has a profane default away message and “deep” song lyrics in his AIM profile.
Limp Bizkit & Papa Roach likely strong candidates to be involved in said profile
 
If Pitt were a person...they would be friends with Jake Paul
 
If Pitt was a person it would be that guy in front of you at the grocery store in the 10 item express line with 18 things, 15 of which were produce which had to be weighed, two 30 packs of Busch Light and a large package of pigs knuckles which won't scan (price check in aisle 1).
 
If Pitt was a person he’d go to Turning Stone and win big betting on some random number at Roulette, not buy drinks for anyone, and then blow the money on some Bored Ape.
 
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