If Pitt was a person...

[kingtidge]

Pitt’s all-time favorite band is Nickleback.

Pitt's favorite cocktail is the MaterMixup - Vodka, Club Soda, & Heinz Ketchup

 

[kingtidge]

Pitt’s all-time favorite band is Nickleback.

Pitt's girlfriend's favorite band is Coldplay... She also has a twig and berries.

 

[Eric15]

Pitt went on it’s honeymoon at the Fyre Festival.

 

[OttoinGrotto]

Pitt eats a lot of sausage.

Also, Pitt didn't get the vaccine because they just didn't know what was really in it.

 

[JKinUtah]

Pitt went on it’s honeymoon at the Fyre Festival.

Pitt would never find someone willing to say I do

 

[jncuse]

If Pitt was a person we would be spending / wasting hours a day ranting about them on the off topic board.

 

[CuseBlock]

Pitt wears a swim shirt

 

[OttoinGrotto]

Pitt made it on the Price is Right, and bid one dollar over every time.

 

[OttoinGrotto]

If Pitt were a person, they'd borrow your car, and instead of returning it with a car wash and a full tank of gas, they'd forget that they threw a McDonald's bag with a half eaten filet o' fish in the backseat.

 

[OttoinGrotto]

When Pitt was a child, they snooped around their parent's closet and found all the Christmas presents their mom wrapped for everyone. They opened them all, mom found them, and then Pitt was pissed off on Christmas day when there weren't any new presents for them.

 

[Orangezoo]

Pitt wears socks over crocs.

 

[OttoinGrotto]

Pitt made a big deal out of demanding a standing desk for their work station.

It's never been higher than seated level.

And it's unplugged.

 

[OttoinGrotto]

When you were a kid, your mom felt bad for the Pitt kid next door and encouraged you to ask them to play once in a while. You were a good kid, so you did. One day, Pitt thought it would be cool to build paper cup and string telephones to run between your bedrooms. So you did, and right as you're about to go to sleep every night, you hear Pitt say something from your cup and it keeps you awake. One time you picked up your cup, yelled "WHAT?!?!?" and put the cup up to your ear, only to hear what you are pretty sure was a fart and an evil cackle.

 

[OttoinGrotto]

Pitt had a baby. It's really ugly. Everyone avoids saying anything about it.

It's awkward.

 

[Orangezoo]

Pitt watches the Olympics in a speedo and snorkel gear.

 

[Orangezoo]

Pitt drives a convertible short bus with spinner hubcaps

 

[orange79]

If Pitt were a person, he's be CuseRunner.

 

[OttoinGrotto]

Pitt watched the Michael Bay cinematic tour du force known as The Island, starring Scarlett Johansson and Ewan McGregor, and at the end of the movie said, completely without irony, "Wait, so there wasn't ever a real island?"

 

[SWC75]

He'd be this guy:

Don't mess with him!

 

[OttoinGrotto]

Pitt puts mayo on meatball subs.

 

[Capt. Tuttle]

Pitt had a baby. It's really ugly. Everyone avoids saying anything about it.

It's awkward.

 

[tptcuse]

When you were a kid, your mom felt bad for the Pitt kid next door and encouraged you to ask them to play once in a while. You were a good kid, so you did. One day, Pitt thought it would be cool to build paper cup and string telephones to run between your bedrooms. So you did, and right as you're about to go to sleep every night, you hear Pitt say something from your cup and it keeps you awake. One time you picked up your cup, yelled "WHAT?!?!?" and put the cup up to your ear, only to hear what you are pretty sure was a fart and an evil cackle.

Epic.

 

[Chip]

Pitt molests collies.

(I’ve probably typed that 7 times in this thread but it changes nothing).

 

[OttoinGrotto]

Some people are huggy drunks. Some people are belligerent drunks.

Pitt is pissy pants drunk.

 

[OttoinGrotto]

When you ask Pitt to name 3 countries that start with the letter A they say Argentina, Alaska, and Africa.