If Pitt was a person... | Page 20 | Syracusefan.com

If Pitt was a person...

If Pitt were a person, they'd borrow your car, and instead of returning it with a car wash and a full tank of gas, they'd forget that they threw a McDonald's bag with a half eaten filet o' fish in the backseat.
 
When Pitt was a child, they snooped around their parent's closet and found all the Christmas presents their mom wrapped for everyone. They opened them all, mom found them, and then Pitt was pissed off on Christmas day when there weren't any new presents for them.
 
When you were a kid, your mom felt bad for the Pitt kid next door and encouraged you to ask them to play once in a while. You were a good kid, so you did. One day, Pitt thought it would be cool to build paper cup and string telephones to run between your bedrooms. So you did, and right as you're about to go to sleep every night, you hear Pitt say something from your cup and it keeps you awake. One time you picked up your cup, yelled "WHAT?!?!?" and put the cup up to your ear, only to hear what you are pretty sure was a fart and an evil cackle.
 
Pitt watched the Michael Bay cinematic tour du force known as The Island, starring Scarlett Johansson and Ewan McGregor, and at the end of the movie said, completely without irony, "Wait, so there wasn't ever a real island?"
 
He'd be this guy:

1677285609748.png


Don't mess with him!
 
When you were a kid, your mom felt bad for the Pitt kid next door and encouraged you to ask them to play once in a while. You were a good kid, so you did. One day, Pitt thought it would be cool to build paper cup and string telephones to run between your bedrooms. So you did, and right as you're about to go to sleep every night, you hear Pitt say something from your cup and it keeps you awake. One time you picked up your cup, yelled "WHAT?!?!?" and put the cup up to your ear, only to hear what you are pretty sure was a fart and an evil cackle.
Epic.
 

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