If Pitt was a person...

[W'boro'Cuse315]

Pitt is a person. They’re Alex Murdaugh.

 

[JonB]

Pitt is the guy you know is a loser criminal, and it’s only a matter of time before they are losing at life, even if they win a fight.

 

[JonB]

If Pitt was a person he would be Jamie Dixon, who beat Syracuse 3 times in 2016, only to lose in the first round, while Syracuse advanced to the final 4, after which Dixon was fired!

 

[Capt. Tuttle]

Pitt molests collies.

(I’ve probably typed that 7 times in this thread but it changes nothing).

You have to bring it to light to get authorities to take action. Keep up the good fight!!

 

[OttoinGrotto]

Pitt's the person that outright refuses to towel off the equipment at the gym after they use it.

 

[Trueblue25]

Pitt grabbed all of the candy in your receptionist’s candy bowl and told you “thats what pockets are for”

 

[OrangeDW]

When you were a kid, your mom felt bad for the Pitt kid next door and encouraged you to ask them to play once in a while. You were a good kid, so you did. One day, Pitt thought it would be cool to build paper cup and string telephones to run between your bedrooms. So you did, and right as you're about to go to sleep every night, you hear Pitt say something from your cup and it keeps you awake. One time you picked up your cup, yelled "WHAT?!?!?" and put the cup up to your ear, only to hear what you are pretty sure was a fart and an evil cackle.

That was incredibly specific….

 

[CuseFaninVT]

That was incredibly specific….

He paints a picture, doesn't he?

 

[OttoinGrotto]

That was incredibly specific….

What can I say, I'm a student of the art of the overly long, incredibly specific joke.

 

[CuseFaninVT]

What can I say, I'm a student of the art of the overly long, incredibly specific joke.

Who’s your teacher, HOFCeluck ?

 

[OrangeDW]

What can I say, I'm a student of the art of the overly long, incredibly specific joke.

I was wondering if it was based on a true story or something, lol.

 

[OttoinGrotto]

I was wondering if it was based on a true story or something, lol.

No that one just popped into my head fully formed. No lie.

 

[OrangeDW]

Pitt is the guy playing something out of his phone on the train right now, for all to hear. Profanity and all, with kids and old people aboard.

I only know because I took my headphones off when I got up to use the bathroom.

 

[HOFCeluck]

Who’s your teacher, HOFCeluck ?

I don’t do long jokes, I do short ones (followed by long breaks)

 

[Brooky03]

Pitt walks into Chipotle and complains that they’re completing some online orders while he waits. “But you have customers right here!”

 

[OrangeDW]

Pitt asks for double meat, then asks for a little more, and then repeats the same process with the ranch.

It doesn’t matter where he is or what he’s ordering (subway, Chipotle, etc.) : double meat and extra ranch.

Also, he doesn’t tip a cent even if they accommodate his needy requests.

 

[BigNastyJon]

Pitts the kinda guy that introduces himself by saying “Nice to meet you. I am a damn proud boomer.”

 

[CuseFaninVT]

I don’t do long jokes, I do short ones (followed by long breaks)

You’se length comes in your commitment to a single bit over an extended period of time.

 

[HOFCeluck]

You’re length comes in your commitment to a single bit over an extended period of time.

Yes I do take a concept and beat it to death…and then some. You do have a point there.

 

[JDubbin]

Pitt is bad at trivia night, like really bad… they have no knowledge of anything trivia related, but quick answers anyway without talking with the team at all & leads in with “I KNOW THIS ONE!!!”

Except one night two of the categories were “Lynyrd Skynyrd” & “cheap beers” - Pitt got every answer right, to the most intimate & accurate detail… & they’re team won! That’s a wild night

 

[Eric15]

Pitt is bad at trivia night, like really bad…

Pitt tries to cheat at trivia nights by looking up answers on their phone, not realizing they still have a flip phone that doesn't have internet access.

 

[721Comstock]

You’re length comes in your commitment to a single bit over an extended period of time.

* your.

 

[CuseFaninVT]

* your.

Fixed it

 

[OrangeDW]

 

[HOFCeluck]

I’ve never been more revolted by a pizza