You can point out all that and I wouldn't argue with it. But it doesn't make the officiating irrelevant- or good.
I completely agree with your point about aggressiveness and it's impact on how the game is called. But I don't have your view of the way things should be.
I believe that referees tend call anything they consider unusual. if one team is physical, they will call anything unusually physical for that team. If a team is more of a finesse team, (playing, to my mind, "real basketball"), they get called anything. Even when the fouls are even, and they sure weren't here), the physical team has the advantage because they get away with being more physical than the finesse team. There should actually be more fouls called on the physical team if the game were to be fairly called.